S*X MATE | Vkook

47

It was all supposed to be giggles and fun, a happy life with a happy ending, nothing tragic that made his heart so fragile that he could barely breath. He felt miserable under the clutch of time and sadness, his mind playing tricks that everything was okay, a coping mechanism to get away from reality.

His breathing wasn't steady, shallow at times and hyperventilating the other, "mom!", it wasn't a whisper or a cry for help, all the bones in his body were mourning over his diseased mother, the lady who took care of him and loved him more than anything in her small world. A child-made promise of buying her a big house and her favourite car remained unfinished, with a book of memories half way filled, and heart empty like a China vase.

The irony was, he despised being a child of a single parent, and now he had none. It had happened years ago but the wounds still remained as fresh as morning dew, being one of the gravest mistake of his life, he sure knew how to blame himself for everything that had happened.

Jeongguk was there then, he had promised to be by his side forever, even if it was meant to be a friendly promise, Taehyung didn't oppose it, all he wanted was a shoulder to cry on, mourn and scream, until everything was gone and had turned into nothing. It was nice, to have someone.

"He didn't come.", his voice was hoarse from crying for an hour, it felt like he was reliving it all, seeing his mothers dead corpse for the first time, knowing he could've saved her if he would've skipped school that day.

"I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go!", "You can't go Tae, you have fever."

But he did, his stubborn self had to make his mother drive him to school. It was already past his bus time and he knew he couldn't make it. He can't miss to meet his best friend though, his bestest best friend Jeongguk who told him he had something to show him.

Only if he hadn't been such a selfish prick, his mother wouldn't have been in such a horrible accident, she wouldn't have died.

"See my tattoo Taehyungie", "You're such a freak! Now you gonna start smoking weed or something?"

He was mad, mad at himself, mad at Jeongguk.

"Don't cry Taehyungie, it wasn't your fault.", "You're right, it was your fault, you wanted to show me that stupid tattoo of yours. It was your fucking fault!"

It wasn't, he knew it wasn't Jeongguk's fault. It wasn't his fault either. And he knew it so fucking well.

"Tae!", Taehyung snapped his head towards the caller, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, but to his disappointment it wasn't someone he had hoped he would see, "Hey Chim!"

Jimin approached him and bent on his knees, showing respect to the grave, "Jeongguk is just busy, he does not hate you Tae."

Taehyung laughed bitterly and nodded before muttering a small 'sure'. Jimin placed his hand on his best friend's shoulder and pulled him in his tight embrace, "She's watching over you! She loves you!"

Taehyung buried his head deeper in Jimin's chest and started wailing. It hadn't been long since he had stopped crying, the current overflowing tears surprised him as well, but he couldn't stop, even if he wanted to, he just couldn't. His chest felt so tight, hands shaking and breathing uneven, "It's okay to cry Tae, it's okay to be weak. I'm sorry I didn't come early."

Taehyung's sobbing didn't stop for quite some time, but when it finally died down, his face was dull and depressive, "Jeongguk hates me... I now know why.... I.... I realise it when he doesn't show up at the time I need him the most."

"He does not hate you Taehyung."

"Jeongguk's family is fucked up, it always was.", "I know that Tae-", "I didn't even consider how he might've felt when his only friend betrayed him, played as a fucking traitor, had sex with his girlfriend because he was so jealous that the hottest girl in the school was not his. I was so selfish. I- I was so fucking selfish Jimin.", Taehyung was tearing up again, he bit hard on his lips and stared at his mothers grave, "She loved Jeongguk."