Searching for my Identity

Chapter 36 One Step up

Well my beloved readers, first of  all I'm really sorry that it took me so long to write this chapter. I had a kind of writers blockade but now I'm back again to post the next chapter. I want to thank everyone of you for  your sutpport, votes and comments. It helps me a lot if I know where I'm good  at and where I should develope. Especially where the ff should lead us all. A big thank you to my editor amys99999 you had done a great job and I'm really thrilled for you that your great story is nominated for the  fiction award 2019. Please vote for my editor's story Beyond the door which is as I already mentioned nominated for the fiction award 2019 in Best of beginners ;-) thanks in advantage

"How can you promise me that? What if you don't like me? I mean how long have you known me now? About two hours?" Emma aka Norah admitted looking at her twin sister with a worried facial expression.  She glanced away and mumbled, “I’m so scared.”

Nat sighed trying to find the right words to console her sister. She said, "You know I had the same thoughts yesterday when I was talking to my Dad about you.  I was afraid YOU wouldn't like ME. But I like you so far, Norah. Or are you more comfortable with me calling you Emma?"

"I don't really know, Nathalie.  I don't really know anything right now. Everything is changing. A few days ago everything was just fine, and now my entire life seems to be a big lie," the young girl replied and shrugged her shoulders wiping away her tears. "I don't know how to act or what to say around you.  And I definitely don't know what to say to your parents. Why did they give me away? I... "

"May I interrupt you briefly?" Logan cleared his throat walking towards his daughters. His heart was beating against his chest and stopped in front of Nathalie and Norah. Logan looked at his twin daughters and still couldn't believe that he and Rory had finally found their daughter after such a long time.

"Norah I'm aware that you have a lot of questions. I'm sure you are confused and angry right now. I know I would be if I was in your position," Logan said gently as he got down on his knees reaching out for Norah's hand.

Norah lowered her gaze feeling defeated.  Through tears, she asked, "Why did you give me away? Didn't you and your wife love me?"

It broke Logan's heart to see his daughter in so much distress in her sister's arms. The mere thought that Norah believed that he and Rory hadn't loved her enough and had given her away made him so angry and depressed. Of course, he and Rory would never abandon one of their children.  But Norah didn't know that. All she knew was her world was upside down and she was confused.

Norah hesitated for a moment before squeezing Logan's hand back, which surprised him but made him smile. Despite the terrible situation, Logan took a deep breath and continued, "Sweetie, I'm so sorry for all the pain this whole situation is causing you. If I could, I would undo the last fourteen years in a wink. You can't imagine how much your Mom and I love you."

"Well, that's good to hear. But you still didn't answer my question. Why did you give me away when you and Mom loved me so much?" Norah asked as she looked at Logan for answers.

Logan closed his eyes and desperately tried to sort out his thoughts.  He attempted to form words, but he failed. With his closed eyes, the first tears accumulated. How should he explain to a fourteen-year-old girl that he and Rory and never had the intention to voluntarily give their daughter up for adoption?  How could he tell her that she was kidnapped by strangers? How was he supposed to tell her that the parents she knew all these years had "stolen" her?

"Logan," Rory whispered in a shaky voice as she entered the foyer with Sarah Paulson followed by Sophie.

Rory was extremely shocked when she found her husband and daughters in an intimate moment, although she knew exactly what this conversation was all about. Her husband fought against his tears while Norah and Nathalie held each other in their arms crying.

"Logan? " she repeated, touching him on his shoulders. Without any hesitation, she took her husband in her arms. Logan buried his face in Rory's soft hair while she stroked his back. "I'm feeling so helpless. Rory, what we are going to do now? How should we... "

"Logan I know it's hard. Really hard. But we're all in this situation together. You're not alone. I’m here.  We are together,” she muttered in his ear trying to calm him down.

"I know. It's just that everything is so… so...I'm a loss for words. I think it's time to tell our daughter the whole truth even if it is going to hurt like hell for all of us. What do you think? Would it be a good idea if we would involve my Dad and your Mom? Or should we wait?” Logan asked her and looked deep into Rory's eyes.

"I don't know if it would be a good idea. I mean it's our duty to tell Norah about it," Rory said. She turned to her crying daughters and said, "Honey? Norah, I know everything seems like it’s falling apart for you now. I can't imagine how much it is hurting you now, but we're here. Please don't shut your father and me out. "

Norah nodded shyly still crying.  Hesitantly, she broke out of her sister's embrace and got up.
She looked at Rory and Logan. The teenager stared into Logan and Rory's  faces and tried to recognize herself in her biological parents. She was looking for some spark, a hint of biological recognition.  She needed to feel some pull, some connection.

And she did.  She obviously saw herself in Natalie. But she also saw sparks of her own eyes in Rory’s eyes.  And she recognized the pensive tension in Logan’s stance. She felt the connection she wasn’t certain she wanted to feel.

Two pairs of chocolate brown and dazing blue eyes were observing her, and she felt uncomfortable.  She suddenly wanted to run from the room. But she should give them a chance to explain all the questions that were buzzing around in her mind.

She took a deep breath and said, "Well, then I think we should address it. There is no way we can't deny it. I'm your daughter and Nathalie's sister. But I have one request. If it is ok for both of you, I would like to have Liam by my side as we talk?  I would feel more comfortable I think."

"It's not a problem at all.  If it would help you, then Liam is warmly welcome to hear the whole truth about it,” Rory said.

"Absolutely,” Logan quickly agreed. “Anything that would help you through this and make you feel more comfortable.  And Norah? "Logan looked at her with a slight smile.

"Yeah? "

"May we hug you? It may seem weird to you, but we hadn't seen you since, well, forever and we are dying to hold you in our arms,” he asked quietly as he observed her response. He knew it was a very forward request, but couldn’t help himself.  He and Rory didn't want to cross the boundaries and cause her even more pain, but he just couldn’t help himself.

Logan awaited her answer.  

Norah froze and looked back and forth between Rory and Logan for a moment. Then she stood and nodded her head slightly.

Logan broke into a grin.  He felt Rory’s hand tighten on his arm in a subtle warning not to push Norah too far.  He understood and only held Norah for a few moments before releasing her to let Rory have a turn.

After all these years, Logan was grateful and satisfied with a few moments.