Searching for my Identity

Chapter 56 Look forward

Thanks to all of you. I know it took me longer than I expected to write another chapter. So thank you to my amazing editor amys99999. You did such a great job again. And thank you too all of my readers for your support and loyality. Stay healthy and try to make the best out of the whole covid19 crisis.

Logan glanced worriedly in the car's rear view mirror, wondering what was wrong with his daughter. Of course, he knew that the last few days had been quite stressful for her. The events were shocking, but he thought something else must have happened. He pondered whether it was a good idea to talk to her. 

Maybe it would have been better if Rory or Katherine had come along. A female chat may be in order. But they weren't here.  So he had to deal with this on his own.

It hurt him to see his daughter so lost and helpless. He knew she was fighting an inner battle with herself to avoid dragging anyone into her emotional chaos. Logan knew the same pattern too well because, for years, he hardly wanted to tell anyone of his family and closest friends about his own inner struggles. But, he too, tended to keep things to himself.  He smiled at the brave yet detrimental trait.

The loss of Norah had put him and Rory in an emotional hell where each had suffered silently and secretly in their own ways. He could see his daughter retreating into her own realm of isolated torment. And Logan wanted to prevent that at all costs. 

Norah sighed softly as she drove through the streets of Vienna with her fathers. The day had started so well, and now she had lost her very best friend forever because she trusted and believed a vindictive, self-centered, and arrogant brat more than herself. 

Norah was already aware that she had neglected Melinda the last few days. After all, her perfect world had been turned upside down precisely five days ago, and she still couldn't quite comprehend fully what had happened. But she was trying.

All the more, she was now plagued by a guilty conscience for not having told her former friend about her precarious situation right away. But shouldn't a best friend bring patience, compassion, and above all, trust into a friendship? 

She shook her head and tried to ignore the thoughts as tears ran down her pale cheeks and left traitorous marks on her face. A quiet sob escaped Norah as she looked out the rainy car window. The loud rumble of thunder startled her. 

"Norah? Honey, are you okay?" Logan cleared his throat, turned to face her in the back, and gave her a caring smile. 

"I...I don't want to talk about it right now, Lo...I mean Dad. Actually, this problem, or rather this person is not worth wasting a single thought about it ..", it came back in a tired voice a short time later and tried doggedly to suppress other tears that had accumulated in her eyes. 

"Sweetie, sometimes it helps just to say things out loud," Logan said gently. "I was never good at expressing or even acknowledging things that bothered me. By keeping things inside, even things you may think are silly, it just hurts you and alters your perception of things. If you would like to talk, I can just listen. I won't say a word unless you want me to. Just let out what is on your mind. You may find you'll see things differently when you say them out loud."

Norah considered her father's words. She felt slightly embarrassed but wondered if he was right. So, before she could convince herself it was a dumb idea, she just began to ramble. She talked for ten minutes straight, just letting her thoughts and feelings flow. 

She saw Logan clench his jaw a couple of times and hide a smile a few other times, but she kept going. When she finished, she realized she did feel a bit better. She didn't feel quite as sad or like she was the party at fault.

"Thanks, dad," she smiled at him, still slightly embarrassed. “I guess I needed that more than I thought.”

"Oh, I know you did, sweetheart.  We are very alike in that way.  Sometimes your mother just lets me spill everything out.  I’ve found it really helps.  If you want my opinion or just to spill, just let me know.  And I will always tell you the truth," Logan nodded and was glad that Norah had opened up to him at least a little. 

He could understand that his 14-year-old daughter was disappointed and sad about her former best friend's behavior. If he had been in her situation, he probably wouldn't have acted so calm like Norah but would have jumped right into confrontation mode and told the person what was on his mind. 

"I know, dad.." she sighed, and a tired smile appeared on her lips. Norah laid her forehead on the window and closed her eyes for a brief moment. 

About 10 minutes later, they arrived at the lobby of the Vienna Grand Hotel. Both of her moms, her grandmother Lorelai and grandpa Mitchum, were already waiting for her. They glanced worriedly at her, and Norah had a strange feeling that something was wrong. 

"Well..can somebody explain what's going to happen now?" she asked straight away while she tried to hide her insecurities. 

"Oh, sure, Norah. I think the best is when we're going to your parent's suite. Come on, honey..." Mitchum cleared his throat and gave her a caring smile. 

"Alright, grand...I mean, oh boy, I'm telling you it's still so odd that I have four pairs of grandparents now.." she said. 

"I can imagine, but just think of Christmas!” Mitchum said with a wink. “I'm glad that your dad found you, and everything else will show itself with time. Right Lorelai?" Mitchum chuckled a little bit when he turned to Rory's mother. 

"I couldn't agree more with your grandpa, sweetheart. We'll find a solution for everything. But you look very sad, but I'm sure a hot cup of coffee and a big piece of chocolate cake will help, right?" Lorelai tried to light up the mood while Rory and Katherine were standing next to her, looking at Norah. 

"Yeah, maybe you're right, grandma..." she nodded as she waited for whatever news they had for her.

Logan stepped forward.  He knelt in front of Norah. He took her hand in his and looked her in the eyes.  “Sweetie, we just tried something new in the car, right?  You talked and expressed your feelings.  You were able to see things a little differently after talking it all out, right? And remember I promised to always tell you the truth?”

Norah lowered her head and nodded.  She knew something unpleasant was coming.  But she knew her father was right.  His method did work.  She decided to trust him and see where this conversation went.  She lifted her head and looked him in the eyes.  Then she nodded for him to continue.

Logan smiled and squeezed her hand.  “That’s my brave girl,” he whispered.