𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐋 | 𝘺𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘮𝘪𝘯

▍FIFTEEN

yoongi wasn't sure if jimin getting used to kissing him was a good thing. in a general sense, he was glad he could kiss jimin because he'd been wanting to for a while. jimin's lips were plump and felt nice against his own, and he felt such happiness when they sat in the living just kissing. but to get specific, he was still nervous. he didn't want to push jimin too far or upset him or make him go backwards with his progress. so when they did kiss, he made sure to stop it before anything went farther.

jimin began to expect them. when they woke up in the morning, he wouldn't get up from the bed without getting a kiss. if he did something good or correct he asked for one. if he managed to get outside without freaking out he asked for one. he wouldn't lie down to sleep until he got a kiss as well. yoongi didn't mind, he just didn't want jimin to become so codependent that he believed he couldn't function without a kiss. although that would be really cute to see...

they were lying in the bed, yoongi reading something on his phone and jimin next to him, trying to fall asleep. it was ten till midnight, but jimin was struggling. he had already gotten his bedtime kiss but he couldn't help but feel unsatisfied. he knew what it was but he didn't want to talk about it, because thinking about anything that had to do with sex gave him flashbacks to his time in lover's paradise. all of the bad touches placed upon his skin and disgusting grunts that filled his ears haunted him, but he couldn't help but wonder what yoongi sounded like in bed.

he physically shook the thoughts from his head and yoongi noticed, looking over. "what's wrong?" he asked, his voice thick with tiredness.

"oh, nothing."

"something." yoongi placed his phone down beside him and laid down next to jimin, throwing an arm around him. "tell me. why aren't you sleeping yet?"

jimin shrugged, not really wanting to tell him that he was thinking about what it was like to sleep with him, but not wanting to completely disregard their sudden conversation. he liked talking to yoongi, he was just really embarrassed to think about it. and scared.

"i was thinking about something but i don't really want to admit i was thinking about it."

"okay, you don't have to say it," yoongi told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "i'm not going to force you to do anything."

"thank you." yoongi hummed and turned back over. jimin pouted and turned over as well to look at him. "no, i mean it. thank you for everything. for taking me in, respecting my boundaries, trying your hardest for me even when i didn't want your help. all of this is just amazing and i feel bad because i can't repay you."

yoongi gave him a gentle smile, reaching over to play with his hair. "jimin, the only thing i want in return is your happiness and safety."

"but i want to give you something to show my gratitude."

"honestly? you getting comfortable with me and feeling good with me is good enough. i like kissing you."

"i like kissing you, too." jimin looked into yoongi's eyes and bit on his lip, blurting out his next thought. "i want to do more with you."

yoongi watched him carefully and after a few seconds he sighed. "i want to do more with you, too. but i won't."

"what if i said it was okay?"

yoongi shook his head. "you aren't. you can lie to yourself as much as you want, but i know you aren't okay."

he was right, he wasn't okay. as much as he was curious about it, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle someone touching him like that for a while. but he wanted to get over his trauma, so maybe yoongi could help him with that someday.

"you're right," he admitted, "but that doesn't mean i'm not interested in it."

"do you like me, jimin?" the blond looked at the older male carefully, enjoying the innocent look washing over his face. "because i like you a lot."

"i do like you, yoongi. i like you a lot." and yoongi smiled, pulling jimin into his embrace. jimin snuggled deep within the hold, hiding his face within the sheets, head against yoongi's chest. he could hear his heartbeat again. this time he mentioned it. "your heart is quickening. you must really like me."

"i do. and i promise you that when all of this is over, and when you're truly ready, we can do whatever you want to do. but right now i need to focus on protecting you and focusing on your case, and you need to focus on getting help and loving yourself."

"if it's with you, i think i can do anything."

it was true. jimin has slowly been accepting everything that happened to him, and accepting himself. it was a slow burn, but he was getting there. now he had more motivation to try harder. he had yoongi.

—
yo.

i just wanna say wow i've been updating this a lot! i'm really happy about it bc i love this story a lot 😔✊

i know i said a few chapters ago that i was going to pick things up, but clearly i lied lol 🤡

i still wanna set some boundaries and show off yoonmin's relationship a bit before i fuck w it. which means that either the next chapter or next few will be the start of the shitty stuff 🤠

also there might be a sex scene coming up. i'll let y'all know if i feel like it.