The Diary Of The Weak: My Journal

7:28-8:03 #18

I'm so frustrated. I have so much stress right now that it's giving me a migraine.

I had WAY too much homework tonight, I lost ANOTHER friend, my friend and I got groped, and I'm falling for someone that I hate.

The homework situation is normal, but I just couldn't handle it. I've felt sick and tired all day and all this homework isn't helping anything. The friend situation is extremely complicated and it's causing me so much stress.

My friend (well, ex friend) and I had to be in the same bathroom together. I had to use the restroom so I told her to turn around. She did so, and then turned back around. She looked down at my...you know, and tried to have a coversation about it! How fucked up is that? I haven't been talking to her because of it and she's being a complete bitch to me.

The groping was just, ugh. My best friend and I were walking down a blacktop and some boys from our school were playing kickball. This is normal, and it wasn't that big of a deal. A couple of other boys were playing football and one of the boys came behind my friend and I, to grab our arses. He did and then jogged over to his friends cheering. One of the boys (my ex) started yelling at him. For example he said things like, "Why the fuck are you touching girls? Huh, Austin?" and, "Stay the fuck away from them!" Yeah, it was very unnecessary and I guess it was handled well...

The falling for someone thing is very complicated. He's a boy named Casey, and I HATE him. He bullied me and said I was "emo" and a "cutter". And he doesn't even know about my depression and self harm! It really bothered me and I developed strong hatred towards him. He now sits by me in homeroom and I fucking hated it. He was always trying to talk to me and started picking on me. After a while, he stopped and said that he was sorry. I accepted the apology, but still didn't pay attention to him. Now, we talk and I guess you could say we...flirt? He's so cute and I know I can't be with him. He's a boy who likes sports, hates reading and writing, and doesn't like people like me. Why is life so complicated?

I've been listening to a lot of Green Day, All-American Rejects, and Avril Lavigne. Their all amazing artists and I've always loved their music.

I'm so tired right now that I can barely see straight. I'm going to bed after I eat dinner, so it'd be best if I went now.

Bye babes. Love you! Stay strong for me! xx