Strange // Ryllon

eleven

I never liked thunder. It always gave me anxiety, the fear of getting hit by it being one of my greatest fears. Now mix a thunderstorm at 2 AM with waking up from a nightmare, and you get exactly what I'm about to do.

I hesitantly knock on the door, terrified and shaking. I expect nothing, no answer, and once I begin to turn, the door opens. Dallon blinks tiredly at me, frowning slightly as he tries to see me in the dark.

A clash of lightning briefly fills the air and I gasp and jump, body shivering more. Dallon seems to realize, but before he can speak, the thunder follows and I feel a tear run down my cheek. Dallon reaches over to turn on the light, but there's nothing. The power's out, we understand that now. 

"I'm-... I'm sorry," I manage quietly. "I, uh... I think I have another fever," I explain. I'm freezing, I just had a nightmare, and now I'm in the middle of a panic attack. I try to turn away, apologize and forget that any of this happened, but Dallon grabs my hand.

"No, hey, Ry, come here," he says softly, pulling me into a close and protective hug. I hug back tightly, fingers gripping his shirt. He leans towards my ear and whispers with that deep and lovely voice of his, "Why don't we go have some tea and check your temperature?"

I nod, managing a small, "Okay."

He leans down and picks me up, making me wrap my legs around his waist and hold on tight. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.

We walk into the kitchen and he places me on the counter. I open my eyes and my grip on his shirt tightens. He goes to pull away, but seems to notice my fear, so he places a hand on the side of my neck.

"Hey, it's okay, I've got you," he tells me softly. His thumb gently rubs my cheek before landing on my lips. I can't see him, so I place my hands on the side of his neck and find his lips with my thumbs.

He steps closer between my legs and his thumb moves as he leans closer. I move mine as well. We're close and we are leaning even closer.

"Is this okay?" He asks quietly.

My whole mind is screaming at me to shake my head, tell him no, part of me even saying to just leave, but there's one little person in the back of my mind who is telling me yes, go for it, tell him what you want.

So I follow that little person.

"Yes," I say, and so he leans forward and though it's dark, I still close my eyes, and then he gently presses his lips against mine. My heart is suddenly pounding and his lips are so soft and nice and he makes me feel like I'm melting. 

I wanna push him away, say, "no, this can't happen" , but soon I'm pushing closer, fingers gently gripping his shirt. 

My heart is pounding and so many feelings are rushing through my body. Part of me is so excited about getting this affection, so much that if we aren't careful, I'm gonna get really turned on.

I try to snap back into reality, but I'm already here and I know full well what I'm doing, and I hate myself for it. The anxiety has mostly subsided and I now feel like I'm dreaming, like I'm in some wonderful dream. Slowly wrap my arms around him to pinch my hand, and we're still here.

He pulls away and then I feel his breath on my lips, and his hands move to my hips and-

He pushes back in and now our lips are moving together slowly in sync. I kiss him slowly and hold onto him desperately, almost as if I'm going to lose him. I don't wanna stop. Our lips move and we hold each other and my hand goes in his hair, and then we're pushing closer and kissing harder, and I can hardly handle it.

I wish I could come up with something about this. He's a bad kisser, he seemed bored, it wasn't romantic, but no, nothing about this is wrong. It feels perfect.

I'm not sure how much time passes, but we pull away and catch our breaths, and I'm already missing his lips against mine.

Lightning clashes throughout the house and I swallow nervously.

"Can we go upstairs?"

"Of course," he says softly, and for some reason his voice shocks me. I'm trying my best to convince myself everything about that wasn't right, but I just can't. It was so good and perfect and exactly what I wanted and needed.

I slide off of the counter and he opens a drawer, then sticks the thermometer in my mouth after turning it on. We wait about 30 seconds until it starts beeping rapidly. He pulls it out. 101.6.

"I just made out with someone who has a fever," he says, causing me to laugh lightly. He turns it off, puts it on the counter, then finds my hand to intertwine our fingers together.

I follow Dallon carefully upstairs as thunder rumbles loudly, soon followed by another big round of lightning and thunder. Rain is crashing against roof and windows, the sound echoing throughout the house. Anxiety begins to creep back up just as we are about to part ways and my grip tightens on Dallon's hand. He turns around.

"Do you want to sleep with me?"

Chills run down my spine and I nod hurriedly.

"Please," I choke out, and so he leans down and picks me up bridal style, sweeping me off my feet. He gently kicks the bedroom door closed and carries me to the bed, lays me down, and then lays with me. I'm not quite sure which room we are in, but I don't think I care.

Dallon pulls me close and I snuggle into his chest. He pulls the blankets up to his shoulders, arms soon wrapping around me protectively. He pets my hair gently and I'm reminded of the first night I arrived.

"Dal...?" I whisper. 

"Hm?" 

"I... could you hold me a little tighter?"

"Of course, babe, I've got you," he says as he holds me closer and tighter. God, babe.

Our legs are intertwined and there isn't a single space between us. I relax into his arms and he kisses the top of my head. I close my eyes, remembering the feeling of his lips on mine.

I didn't just kiss Dallon Weekes, I'm not just sleeping in the same bed as him, I didn't just admit that us kissing could easily turn me on, no, it's much different.

I just kissed the person I hate the most,

and the person I love the most.