I Found What I Was Missing

Chapter 63: Come Back To Me

Come Back To Me

I can't...do anything!!!
Killua stood to the side, watching his younger self break down and cry in front of Palm, his screaming cries seemed to echo around them.
You are the one Gon needs most.

He lost track of the amount of times he had to re-watch his own memories, but it got to the point where he wasn't crying while watching himself go through all these dark times. His heart didn't clench anymore, because he realised, for every bad memory he had, he had ten good ones.

So he stood to the side, watching his own memories replay on a loop. He didn't know where he was or how he got here, but what he did know was that he had to get out of there, he had to get back to his boys.

He didn't want to think about how worried Gon was, but all Killua could hope for was that he found him soon and helped bring him back. Killua turned away from the memory of him restarting Gon's heart after his fight with Pitou, a frown furrowing his brow.

He could have sworn he had heard a commotion. The memory blurred suddenly, melting away and he was suddenly surrounded by darkness; he could hear footsteps making their way towards him. The footsteps stopped a few feet away from him, he could hear a shaky exhale.
“Killua?”

Oh good, Gon finally found him. After a few seconds of his alpha hovering nearby, Killua could hear him stumble over towards him, dropping to his knees beside Killua. Gon rolled him over onto his back, raising his torso off of the ground to rest on his thighs.

“Killua?” Gon whimpered.
The omega's head lolled back, much to his own irritation. Killua could feel Gon's trembling fingers press against his neck, feeling for a pulse, and Killua realised with a start that he didn't have one.

He wasn't breathing, his heart wasn't beating; he was dead to Gon. Inwardly, he started to panic as he was forced to listen to Gon's breathing speeding up growing more ragged, his alpha was breaking down, and Killua could do nothing to make him feel better.

He had no way of showing Gon that he was okay, he was completely limp; his body refused to move.
A quiet wail left Gon's throat as he pressed his face into Killua's neck, arms wrapping tighter around his mate's body as he started to rock back and forth.

“Please, please, don't do this to me,” Gon whispered, body trembling as his shoulders jerked with each inhale as he sobbed into his cold mate's neck.

Killua was dead, he was too late to save him. He wasn't moving, he wasn't breathing, his heart wasn't beating and he was so, so cold. How long had Killua been laying here, waiting for Gon to come save him?

How many times did he have to keep reassuring himself that Gon was coming, he was going to be there any second, he was going to come save Killua, and take him away to a safer place?

Did Killua keep thinking Gon was going to save him, even as his life slipped away from him?
“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Killua,” Gon whispered between his tears, pressing his lips underneath his mate's right eye.

Killua wanted to scream. He couldn't do anything but listen as Gon kept whispering apologies to him, kept pressing loving, tear filled kisses to his cheeks and lips. It was infuriating, he could hear this, feel this and taste Gon's tears on his lips, but he couldn't move, he wanted so badly to reach up and cup his crying love's cheeks, wipe away his tears and kiss away his heartache; but he couldn't.

“Please, please, please, come back to me, Killua, please,” Gon begged, cupping his cheek and brushing his thumb over the cold, pale skin; he whimpered.
Move body, move! Please! He pleaded internally as Gon stopped rocking.