Feysand fanfic

Chapter 18

Later that night after I cried in Rhys arms, over my friend who died, I could not sleep. I laid in bed thinking about all the things I said to him. All the times I let my rage show. When was the last time I saw him? What was the last thing I said to him? What was his last memory of me? Rhys listened to all my worries and kissed them away before lulling me to sleep. I did, for about 5 minutes before I woke up and found myself unable to find sleep again.

I starred at the wood ceiling of the cabin in the room Rhys and I shared. The rest of the family in their own rooms. Gawain in his crib next to our bed. I counted every crack in the roof, in the walls, and when I was done, I starred at my two favorite boys, sleeping. That was before G began to awake with a vicious cry that began to stir those in the house. Rhys eyes fluttered open and I kissed the top of his head before he sat up. "I got him" "again?" He murmured. Voice deep, raspy and sleepy. I smiled as I began to climb out of bed. "Mhmm. I'll take him for some fresh air." "Be careful." "Mother hen" I said but I sent a feeling of love down the bond which sent him purring.

I slung on my winter coat and boots and grabbed an extra blanket, wrapping it around G. He began kicking in my arms in excitement and I smiled, drowning him in kisses as I stepped out the front door. I took one step before I saw Elain sitting out here by herself on the bench.

She looked up at me in surprise as if she had been caught in her own world to notice me coming and wiped her tears from her face. "Hey" she croaked out. "Hey" I replied. G continued to laugh as if the night sky, so close out here in the camps, called to him. I walked up to where Elain was sitting. "can I sit?" She nodded. "Are you ok?" She didn't reply. I let her take her time. Decide if she wanted to answer.

I looked at our surroundings. The Illyrian camp was quiet, peaceful, with no one around. It seemed even Illyrians could sleep. But the more I looked the more I saw the hidden Illyrians on patrol. I snorted at the fact that I didn't see them at first glance and threw up a sound barrier around us to give Elain privacy. After what felt like hours, my joints frozen, rocking G to give me some sense of movement in my bones, Elain responded.

"You know what's worse than anything?" She said. "That I feel free." She said and began to sob again. "I mean.... what kind of a heartless monster do I need to be to feel free over my mate's death?" "Elain...." "it's just...I just" I nodded in understanding and she leaned into my shoulder letting out more tears. We stayed like that for a little before she stood up. "I'm sorry Feyre I shouldn't have bothered you about this." "Elain you could never be a bother. Besides, we couldn't sleep anyways." I said motioning to G. I didn't tell her why though. "I think I'm going to go back to bed she mumbled. "Good night" I called to her as she stepped into the house and closed the door softly behind her. I stayed outside with G for a little while longer before Rhys called me down the bond to come back to bed. I complied.

The next morning was a blur as we skipped breakfast entirely. Elain and Nesta promised to watch over G while we went hunting for the dark creatures. The five of us were on our way to the edge of the woods before Cassian growled and turned around starring at the training ring filled with shirtless Illyrians.

Devlon stood at the edge and looked like he might want to kill someone then deal with Cassian right now who was indeed storming up to him. "The girls?" He forced out. "Doing their chores. They practice after." "That's not what we agreed on. That's not what your high lord commanded." Indeed, while Rhys had a face of calm, I could see underneath that mask that he always put on, and he was pissed.

"I'll make you a deal. If Feyre can beat one of my advisers in the ring, I'll let them train whenever they want, no chores for a month." It was a tease. They knew I couldn't beat any of them, even with Cass's training. They all growled. I could tell the debate that was about to erupt so I stepped in. "Fine." Everyone turned on me but devlon's eyes crinkled with amusement.