Feysand fanfic

Chapter 20

It's been 10 months waiting for Amren to figure it out. 10 months of waiting and waiting for something that may never be figured out. 10 months of wondering if another attack would come. "I'm close" Amren would say during those first couple weeks. Then again when

Gawain started to mumble. Again, when he started to crawl.

It was quiet in the night court. Throughout Pythian. Too quiet. And it itched away at the blood inside my skin. It ate away at everyone in the inner circle. They hid it well, but I saw through. The way everyone would look around after a good laugh. Like we were waiting for the pin to drop. On days like today I tried to drown myself in work or with taking care of Gawain; so did Rhys. These 10 months have been the hardest and most stressful months of my life.

"Az, can you watch G really quick I have to pee." His lips twitched up and he nodded, continuing to scan his papers. Rhys was currently at the court of nightmares, talking with Eris and Keir. He gave me the barest details before he left with a promise to tell me everything when he got back. It seemed he also told Az and Cassian to help me with G.

"And be careful please because he keeps trying to crawl into the chimney." "I got him Feyre, go pee." It was honestly crazy how fast he was growing. Too fast. Still no wings to the Illyrian's disappointment but then again, he hasn't tried to make them form either. And while his power still pulses off of him like a radiator, he hasn't used a single bit. Rhys worried at first that it would start to eat him alive. I believed him only because I felt it all those years ago trapped in Tamlin's manor. The slow itch under the skin that eventually can make you mad. I believed him because he was the most powerful high lord and he once told me that not releasing some power at least once a day bothered him. So we took G to see Madja.

While she wasn't very knowledgeable on the subject because this was never a problem before in any baby, she assured us that he felt no pain or itch and therefore may not even know he has a power to begin with to cause the itch. Once G realizes his power, once we tell him, his training is going to be hard, messy, and dangerous all so he can learn control.

I once began to cry thinking of all the pain and responsibilities we gave to G without realizing it. But Rhys quickly comforted my fears and told me we would deal with the whole mess when the day came. I was scared to think that the day may be approaching quicker than we thought.

I was walking back to the living room when I stopped short at the entrance of the hallway. G was indeed crawling off his mat covered with his toys and crackers and towards the fireplace. His obsession over crawling into tiny places made his crawling stage that much harder. I didn't want to begin to think about his walking stage. Because that's what was next. Walking. It felt like just yesterday I was giving birth to him. I was about to ask Az to get him when his shadows shot out and wrapped gently around G.

G stopped and sat on his butt, reaching out to touch the shadows and giggling when they passed through his little hands, his hair. "Is he- ""I don't know." Az replied "it's too early to tell. It may just be his night powers calling out or it could be something more. Ask Rhys if he kept his mother's diary's she wrote when he was little. She may have had a similar experience and questions to what this might be." I nodded. He said this like he already wondered the same thing before.

I shook off the thought and walked over to pick G up. I showered him in kisses as he laughed in my arms. He then began to whine as he realized the shadows were no longer around him. Even holding him he was bigger. It never crossed my mind that he would never be so small again. Soon I wouldn't be able to hold him anymore. "Shhhhh, I think it's someone's nap time." I mouthed a thank you to Az and he nodded before flying away. Cassian soon walked in through the doors and I groaned. Overprotective bats indeed.

Later that day when Rhys came home, wings still out from the fly home, he insisted on playing with G. There was something about watching them play together that made my heart warm and my skin tingle with happiness. He sees me sit at the table and gets up to sit with me, keeping an eye on G the whole time. "Thought for a thought?" He asks. I smiled at our old game and began first.

"Call me crazy but I feel like any second now the pin is going to drop, and all hell is going to break loose. On top of that I feel like I blinked, and G grew. A lot." We glanced at G who began to crawl around his mat and play with his teething toys. "I know darling." He reached across the table to grab my hand, his thumb slowly rubbing in circles and calming me. "I feel like it was just yesterday I found out you were pregnant. That was probably one of the best days of my life. And about the pin.... whatever happens, whenever it happens, we'll do it together. All of us. I talked to Amren before I left, she said she was close this time. And I felt that she was." I rubbed my eyebrows to relieve a small knot that was starting to form.

"So what happened in the court of nightmares?" He released my hand and leaned back into his chair, hands behind his head as he glanced at G again who was starting to crawl of his mat. A simple flick of Rhys hand and his power turned G around. "It went as well as could be expected. Keir and Eris are scheming again. I think Eris is going to make a move against his father soon. And when that happens...." "yeah." I replied remembering the deal we were stuck into making during the war. "We'll deal with it when the time comes. Hopefully it's after this mess."

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something but closed it when he glanced at G again. He quickly stood up from his chair and I followed him. G was grabbing on to the side of some furniture and began to stand. "Wait" I said to Rhys, grabbing his arm just before he reached G. "Feyre he's going to fall." "Madja said he may start walking soon. Let's just see where this goes." He gave me a look but took a step back. Still close enough to catch him if he fell.

Gawain released his tiny hand from the furniture and took a wobbly step. "Rhys...." tears formed in my eyes. Too fast. This was going too fast. Rhys eyes dropped to mine just as G tried but failed to take another step. He wobbled back and just before he hit the ground, tiny wings shot out from his back, cushioning his fall. But It didn't stop him from crying. I lunged forward to pick him up and held him against me, making soothing noises. Rhys stroke his head and planted a kiss against it, resting his head against my forehead and looking into my eyes.

Gawain had wings. Wings! I was happy, so was Rhys by the look in his eyes. But, what that meant, the dangers, I didn't get to fully think about it or discuss what it could mean with Rhys before Amren slammed through the door with the rest of the inner circle behind them, except for Elain and Nesta who were visiting Lucien's grave. Amren looked disheveled, as if she ran here and the rest of the circle saw her on her way and decided to join. All of their eyes locked onto Gawain's wings, especially Az and Cassian who looked ecstatic and who might have said something if it wasn't for whatever information Amren had to say. "I found it" she breathed. "I figured it out. All of it" I glanced to the metal ball in her hand and my knees wobbled. I almost dropped G. 

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Honesty I have no excuse why I haven't updated in a while. I guess I was just kind of stuck I suppose. Writers block? But I think now I have my thoughts organized and the rest of the story planned. I also figured out the ending and let me just say..... none of you are going to like it. 😏 Also, thank you guys soooo much for 6k reads. At first I started this book because I wanted to share with others my love for this series and I never would have though it would have passed even 1k reads so thank you guys so much. ♥️
-S