ATEEZ social experiment

Part 6

Showering Alone

     "This place is so nice! I know this sounds bad but i could totally live here," I say loud enough for the others to hear. I explore every nook of this the 'house'.
     There is the large bedroom with a massive bed much bigger than a king, a couple sitting chairs that look into the indoor atrium. There is a master size bathroom. The living room is just outside of the bedroom and to the right is the kitchen. Completing the square, the atrium is to the right of the kitchen connecting to the bedroom.
     The atrium is by far my favorite room. The colors make me feel free and a live. The sun mimicking lights fill me with energy. This place has it all, everything i dreamed of, except it is lacking a front door.
I find myself back into the kitchen and join the two at the bar. They stop their conversation as I sit next to them.
"What's the plan?" I question as they blankly stair at me.
There really isn't anything that we can do," San speaks up, "we can take our time to understand this place and come up with a logical plan."
"I agree with San, there has to be some flaw here and we need to be patient to find it," Seonghwa adds and I nod my head in understanding.
"What do we do now?" I lean forward with my elbows resting on the counter, scrunching my face.

     "We live," San states sitting up.

     "We act like nothing happened," Seonghwa adds in.

     "Well okay then," I force myself to be calm and accept it, "I will be in the shower if either of you need me," I quickly stand and strut to the shared bedroom and lock myself in the bathroom.

      I strip the unfamiliar clothes off my body. I look at my bare, malnourished body in the mirror. My figure that once thrived now looks disfigured. Once the steam starts to fill the room I go into the shower. The warm water runs down my face, a warmth I have missed dearly.

     Alone... I feel so alone. They don't know me, I know nothing about them and now im stuck here with them. This is worse than being alone. I'm surrounded by life but I lack the warmth, the warmth of human touch.

     I wrap my arms tightly around myself as I pull my knees into my chest as I sit letting the hot liquid fall on me. I want to scream, I fight the pain building inside as I cry into my hands trying to muffle the sobs. I'm weak I cant do this, if we make it out that wont be me anymore. Nothing will ever be the same. I'm gone.

     "Everything okay?" a knock on the door startles me. I quickly shut off the water and wipe the mixed water and tears off my face.

     "Yeah I'm fine!" I say with as much confidence as my body allows without letting my words crack. I take a few deep breaths before stepping out into the bedroom. I can feel a weight lifted off my chest but now I'm just empty as if nothing matters anymore.

     Before heading out I check my face in the mirror. Baggy red eyes, flushed cheeks, stair back at me. I quickly turn away and head back into the bedroom. I crawl under the white sheets.

     You know that feeling after crying when your throat burns and if you attempt to speak that everything will just start again. Well that's how I feel. It's like a hangover.

     I pull a pillow up to me and bury half my face into it as I look through the atrium at the guys in the kitchen. How are they so composed. Maybe they cry in the shower too so they don't look weak. Maybe they feel the same horrible pain I do but want to be strong for me.

     That's stupid Hana no one would ever do that for you. They only care for themselves.

     Stop it this isn't helping. I bury my face into the pillow.

     "You're such an idiot!" I yell into it. I pull my wet face out of the pillow and look back to the kitchen and Seonghwa sees me. I watch him as he constantly checks back over and eventually excuses himself. I quickly wipe my face and take a few deep breaths to prepare myself.

     "Are you feeling any better?" He gently speaks as he slowly peeks into the doorway.

     "Yeah, the shower helped a lot," I softly smile to him causing him too also.

     "That first shower here helped me a lot too, very refreshing and puts you into a new state of mind." He stands by the large window.

     "The warmth, that's what helped me," he turns and gives me a confused look, "I've missed the touch of warmth, like my sister and I shared a bed when we were kids and when she got her own that warmth was gone. Trying to sleep without it there was hell for awhile until I got blankets to replace her. I guess the shower is my replacement here," i say internally hating myself for opening up so quickly.
     "I understand. My mother passed away about two months before this happened. I know the feeling," he strongly says looking through the window.
     "My sister passed almost a year ago, that's why i moved here. We both lost the warm touch we never expected to lose," i speak into my lap.
     "I hope someday to get it back, every storm has to run out of rain sometime right?" he looks back at me with his reassuring smile.
     "I hope you're and that it's sooner rather than later," i sigh. He takes a couple steps forward and reaches a hand out to me.
     "It's perfectly fine if you're not comfortable," his gentlemanness is pouring out of him.
     "Isn't this how we met?" i smile at him.
     "Indeed it is." i grab his outstretched hand and he pulls me into his embrace. At first i hesitate but then i wrap my arms around his torso as he does mine.
     we take a moment and enjoy the warmth from another soul. So maybe then we won't feel so alone.

A/N
I'm so sorry to post really late once again but all this severe weather my home is getting is keeping me from working. Thank you all for being patient. I hope you all had a great day! Don't forget to comment and vote!❤️