ATEEZ social experiment

Part 44

                        Tell Me What to Do

      "Okay so I , ugghhh it's weird talking about this but, I love Seonghwa. I know I do, but I'm scared. Our first day back he pushed hard against me telling me I was wrong even when I ended up being right," I paused for a moment.

      "I know it's not that big of a deal but it hurt he could of at least come after me apologizing. But whatever it was our first day back he was stressed right?" I ramble as Mingi nods his head. "When we went to the station to give our testimony he didn't even say a word until I went up to him. I told him I needed space but he took it as not even being in the same district. I asked for a meter and he gave a mile."

      "When guys here 'I need space' they think that. He never even mentioned you once the past month," Mingi gossips causing me to grit my teeth.

      "I didn't want to feel suffocated, you and Hongjoong made it hard to even breath that's why I never left my room. But Yunho," I take a deep breath, "he was like a breath of fresh air. All my worries melted away when I was with him. Maybe it's just his personality but I felt so loved when I was around him."

      "He definitely has that effect on people it's almost impossible to not like him."

      "He really took the time to know me, like the real me. Sometimes I feel like I don't really know Seonghwa... everything was so different there, we had no choice but Yunho had a choice."

      "You feel like you two we only together because you were there together. I can tell you that the Seonghwa you came back with is not the one that got taken."

      "I know and that scares me... You saw what he did to Yunho," I look down to the sheets thinking of how my ex how he turned on me leaving me looking worse than what Yunho did.

      "Seonghwa did that to him?" Mingi gasps and leans closer, "San told me that he fell."

      "That's half of it... When Seonghwa found out about Yunho and I he went after him," I fight the tears that threaten to fall. "I know he was mad and all but he shouldn't have went after him he should've talked to me."

      "The entire month he saw Yunho and I get close and still never even tried to say a word to me!" I let our a harsh sigh. "I just him back, the Seonghwa I knew, but what if he's gone... what if this him now.... I love him I don't want to do this to him but he's making this so hard for me." I sniffle whipping the tears from my face.

      "I don't know what to tell you, but deep down I know his heart is in the right place he just doesn't know how to handle his feelings." Mingi puts his arm around me to comfort me.

      "No it's me. I don't know what's wrong with me I don't know how to handle my feelings. I'm scared to be alone... what if I lose them both," I bury my head into my hands and begin to bawl. "I'm so scared to hurt one of them but now I'm just hurting them both and killing myself."

      "It's okay," he cradles my head in his arms.

      "Just because I'm breathing doesn't mean I'm alive... I'm not sad I'm just tired of begin here," I cry into his arms.

      He holds me gently running his hand through my hair to sooth my episode. I finally begin to get control over myself wiping my face feeling more empty than ever.

      "Committing suicide isn't scary but failing is what's scary," my cold voice echoes through the room.

      "Hana..." he turns me to face him."Don't fall back into this, you have amazing people here that care about you, both of them are whipped for you."

      "I know I know I'm not falling back it's just nice getting to let all of this out it's been eating me alive. I just need to think everything through and talk to them. Luckily they are both being respectful waiting for my decision."

      "Don't worry about their feelings focus on yourself, god that sounds awful but it's true you need to be happy." I nod my head at his words.

      "Seonghwa told me that too. He just wants me to be happy and he's seen Yunho do that for me. I love Seonghwa so much but Yunho helps me love myself."

      "I know it's not what you want to hear but both of them are great and you can't really go wrong," he says as I rest my head onto his shoulder and sigh.

      "I think I know what to do," I turn and look up to him, "Are you doing anything today?"

      "Going back to sleep," he laughs at me and I just roll my eyes.

      "If you had pants on I would too but you're weird," I start to get up.

      "Hey!" he shouts and I turn back and he flips up the sheet, "I learned to wear pants knowing you sneaking in here." I grab the pillow and hit him.

      "You should've told me earlier I was freezing siting on top of the sheets!"

      "You could've asked!" he laughs at me.

      "Come on get up we're doing something today," I pull at his arm as he groans.

      "It's six in the morning what are we going to do," he gives in and sits up.

      "Go exploring I haven't seen much of Seoul. Take me to all the tourist attractions!" I giddily say and he just sighs.

      "Fine," he groans, "Are are stopping to get breakfast first you at least owe me that."

      "Deal! I'll go see if Joongie wants to go," I pat his head then run out of his room to the one across the hall and find the redhead wide eyed glued to his computer.

      "Hey," I poke him causing him to jump and grab his chest.

      "Do you not know how to knock!" he gasps at me the fear still on his face making me laugh.

      "Mingi and I are going around Seoul today if you want to go too." he closes his laptop and looks up to me.

      "Mingi. He's awake. This early. Wow. Much Impress." he bobs his head, "Give me 10 minutes and I'll be ready."

A/N

rest well Mingi we love you💕💕💕

chill chapter this was pretty fun to write but the next couple chapters will be good so stay tuned they should be up tomorrow. I hope you all enjoyed this I love you all so much. I got attacked by a swarm of fire ants and currently dying but I still finished using the pain to motivate me and writing to distract from the pain. HAVE A GREAT DAY MY LOVES! Don't forget to comment and vote!💕💕💕