ATEEZ social experiment

Part 9

Bathroom Floors

They are just staring at me. Are they going to say anything? Please. Someone, say something, anything. Please...
"What...?" San snaps out of his daze and sits up and looks at me in disbelief.
"I'm sure you didn't I feel like I'm the reason my Mother killed herself-"
"No. I actually killed her," I coldly say cutting Seonghwa off.
"Umm," Sam swallows I see the fear in his eyes, "Do you care to elaborate?" I can see his legs beginning to shake. I knew this would happen.
"My life has never been normal. It should have been easy but everything a person shouldn't go through happens to me. I have a knack for disaster. It's like a demon follows me and infects whatever I touch," I pause taking in a deep breath. I have I have talked about this once since that night, with mingi.
"I had this boyfriend my last year of high school and into college. On the outside he was the perfect. Star athlete, Deans list student, his dad was a pastor, but when he was with me none of that was there. He was his true self. He didn't care about me, he never did. I was just a toy, a pon that he could manipulate, use, and abuse. I didn't have any friends to help me, it's harder, much harder to reach out when it's reality and when they lies to make you feel better.
"One night I knew he wasn't just messing around like the other times and I thought he was going to kill me," I wiped the tears that started to run down my face. "My dad gave me a gun for my graduation so I could always feel safe. I know how to use one I've shot my whole life but its different when you are aiming at a human, a human that you hate so much because they stole everything from you and you still in some crazy wild way love.
"My sister came home during this and I had no idea," the tears pour even more, "I pulled the trigger and I shot him, and I didn't stop. I shot him five times not knowing that my sister was behind him. Every bullet I shot went through him into her.
"The cops found me curled up, covered in blood, and unresponsive. I went into shock. Since then I attempted three times and decided to move here. Leave everything that reminds me of what happened. I cant even look at my parents without throwing up.
"I killed my f**cking sister."

The two males look at me in utter shock and silence. I cant take this, them looking at me like a hurt puppy that any movement would hurt it anymore.
"So for me, anywhere is better than home," I quickly stand and speed to the bathroom.
"Hana!" I hear the two come after me. I don't stop and I make it just in time to release my todays meals into the toilet and that's when the sobs begin.
"Come here," Seonghwa sits on the bathroom floor next to me and pulls me into his chest. "San go get some water."
"Okay!" he rushes out of the room.
"It's okay Hana, it's okay," he gently rubs my back as I scream and cry into him like a baby. It hurts it all hurts, my chest, my eyes, my face has gone numb, my fingers tingle as I clench onto his like how I'm holding onto the bit of sanity I have.
"Here," San hands him the bottle. He screws of the lid and leans up.
"You need to try to drink," he offers it to me and I shake my head no as the sobs only get heavier making it hard to breath. I gasp between trying to get air only making everything worse.
"It's okay just let it all out," he runs his fingers through my hair helping me calm my breathing, "Do you mind leaving us alone?" San leaves at his request.
"She doesn't blame you, she wouldn't want you to hurt. I know it does hurt a lot but this pain cant change what happened, she's gone. She is not coming back no matter how much you cry you cannot take back pulling the trigger. What if you didn't shoot him, what if he killed you and saw your sister, he would have killed her too. You just need to live a full life, don't make three deaths come from that night."
I slowly pull myself up. The sobs slow into tearless crying as I have none left. I pull my knees to my chest and tightly hold onto them. No one has even spoken like that to me. Never has anyone hurt me to help. My crying is pointless it only brings more pain. I'm a murderer, a killer and no amount of tears can wash it away. Someday, I can work hard, I can change that title I can make something out of it and not just three people who shouldn't be dead.
Unable to speak I lean my head onto his shoulder in attempt to show my gratitude. San peaks in and sees me somewhat okay smiles and then gently closes the door.
"It is always going to hurt Hana, crying isn't bad but it's not good either. I will always be here, I will be your shoulder to cry on I wil do whatever i can to keep you safe."
"Thank you," i breath out. He puts his arm around me and i scoot closer in his embrace. He is so much different than any man i have come across. Maybe coming here was a good thing, i found answers. I found him...
"I'll hold you tight always so you can feel my warmth," he softly speaks with his head lightly on mine. 
"Promise?" i look into his pure angelic eyes as they pool over me. A gentle smile grows on his face.
"I promise you."

A/N
What do y'all think about the back stories? they still have a few secrets that will soon come into the light. I hope y'all enjoyed it and i will post again tomorrow! Love you all and don't forget to comment and vote!💕💕💕