Torn

Chapter 15

Luke and I went to the baby store an picked out two cribs, a dresser and a changing table . All four of the boys were currently trying to put the first one together and it wasn't going very well .

"That piece is backwards Luke ."

"Don't tell me how to do my job Lydia."

"I'm stating the obvious ! Leave the attitude outside ."

"Whatever ." He flipped the piece around and screwed it in .

"I hate you sometimes Luke ." I toke the directions out of my lap and threw them at him . I got up and walked to my room .

*Luke's POV*

"Lydia wait !" I got up off the floor and followed her into her room . She was sitting on her bed with her head in her hands . "What's wrong princess ?"

"We're really doing this . We're really having a baby and we're really back together . I'm just so stressed out and overwhelmed and I can't believe we're doing this. How am I gonna do this ?" She ran her hand through her hair while she rambled on .

"Babe calm down ." I grabbed her small hands from off her head and Wrapped them in my large ones . "Everything will be fine . I can promise you that . We will both make it through this together ."

"You don't ever doubt us and how we're gonna do this ?"

"Yes but at some point in time everyone gets doubts, it's what you do with those doubts that really define your future ." I kept running my hand on the top of her hand as I saw a tear come out of her eye and roll down her cheek .

"How do I protect them ! I can't even protect myself !"

"What are you talking about ?"

"Protecting these kids from being hurt . They could get kidnapped or hit by a car or killed . I can't protect them ." I pulled her into my chest and let her cry for about two minutes before I started talking again .

"You can't protect them from everything because you're not supposed to just like I can't protect you all the time ."

"I know but I can't stop worrying about everything ."

"Look at me ." I put my hands on both sides of her face and lifted her head up to look at me . "We are both gonna worry about a lot of things but don't ever keep those worries built up inside . Always tell me or someone else those worries so that they don eat you up inside."

"Okay ."

"Okay . Now dry up those tears and come help me with the crib ." I kissed the top of her head and went back to the babies room .

"What's wrong ?" I sat back down on the floor and picked up the instructions .

"Nothing . Everything's fine ." Lydia came in and sat down next to me on the floor .

"Ash, that piece goes right there ."

"Thank you ." Lydia had taken off all her eye makeup because her crying had ruined it . Now her eyes were red and puffy but she pretended like nothing happened because that's what she does . She hates for people to see her cry but it happens all the time . She tries to hide her feelings but it never ever works out when it comes to me . I can read her like a book but she does still have some walls up with everyone including Ashton . It just has something to do with her father . We all have conversations on how we can get her to bring some of those walls down but we still don't know how .

"It's really funny how it takes four of you guys to build one crib and you're no where near done ."

"Hey we're trying our best ." She used my shoulder to get up off the floor .

"I probably should've just called someone to build all this stuff ."

"Where are you going ?"

"Go get pizza and maybe go to the blue bird and co. Are you coming Luke?"

"Yeah, of course ." I got up off the floor and followed her out of the room . She sat on the couch to put on her black vans and waited for me to tie them . I kneeled down and tied the laces and then helped her up .

"I have a photo shoot tomorrow ." She grabbed my hand and dragged me out the door .

"For what ?"

"The pregnancy ."

"You've come a long way from wanting no one to know to now having a photo shoot for it ."

"Well it's not like I can hide it now and you have to be there too ." She looked up at me and smiled .

"Do I really have to ?"

"Yes sir and you have to be in the pictures ."

"Fine ."

-

We were walking along the beach with some ice cream while we waited for the pizza place to make the pizzas .

"What did your mum say when you told her ?"

"At first she was pissed and wanted to hit me but then she was happy that she was gonna have more grand kids . She still thinks we're to young ."

"My mum does too but she's still pretty excited and she's happy we'll be there when they're born ."

"I am too . It's better to be at home then here ."

"Would you rather live there than here?"

"Sometimes, yes ." I took my jacket off and put it on her .

"Babe you're gonna be cold ." She tried to hand it back to me but I wouldn't let her .

"Keep it . You need it more than I do."

"Ok . You know it's gonna be the middle of summer when we go home."

"That's not gonna be good for you."

"Thank you captain obvious ." She gave me one of her looks that told me to shut up about it .

"You brought it up ."

"Shut up Luke ." She started walking back towards the pizza place .

-

"What toke so long ?" As soon as we got in the door Michael was there trying to pry the pizza from my hands .

"Well they hade to make the pizzas mikey ." She laughed at him and walked into the kitchen, with me behind her .

"You guys were just making out on the beach ."

"More like walking on the beach ." I set the pizzas down on the counter and let Michael get his first. Lydia at down at the dining table and waited for everyone to sit down before she started talking.

"You all have to be awake by 9 ." Everyone stopped eating and looked at her like she was crazy .

"Tell them what for Lyd ."

"Oh, right . I have a maternity photo shoot tomorrow at 10 and you're all gonna be there ."

"Do we have to be in the pictures?"

"Not all of them, just a couple ."

"Where ?"

"The beach, the park and the pier."

"What do I wear ?"

"I'll look at dresses with you after we eat ."