Torn

The end

Our house was packed with people after her funeral. Luke sat in a corner while his mum tried to get him to talk to her but he hasn't talked since he got the news so that was gonna be hard.
The only thing that could ever make my mum smile anymore was the triplets so that's all she did all day, take care of the them. They were the closest thing any of us had left to her so they were everybody's priority today except for Luke. He wouldn't even look at them so I doubt he will be the one taking care of them.
These kids are to young to even know what's going on but I can tell they know that she's gone. They're gonna grow up without a mum and that's the hardest thing that they'll have to go through.
"Do you want something to eat Ash?" I looked up into my mums bloodshot eyes and shook my head no.
"You haven't eaten in days. I'm not gonna let you starve yourself to death."
"I don't want to eat mum."
"Alright but you will eat sometime today."
"Ok." She walked away from me and I went upstairs.
Michael was sitting on her bed, holding the teddy bear he gave here when they were 8. I sat down beside him and put my arm over his shoulder.
"I never got to say goodbye."
"Me either Mikey but she never liked goodbyes anyways."
"You're right and she wouldn't want us to cry because she hated when anyone but her cried."
"She always said-"
"It was awkward. I know."
*6 years later*
-Luke's POV-
"Dylan tie your shoes."
"I can't it's to hard." I kneeled down in front of here and took the laces of her shoes in my hands.
"Make bunny ears and one bunny goes into the hole and then tie it tight." I had to learn Lydia's way of tying shoes because it was just easier and she wanted the kids to tie their shoes that way.
"I'm never gonna get it."
"You'll get it one day princess." I finished tying her shoes and got up to tie the boys shoes.
Collin was sitting on the couch by himself and giving me a cheeky smile.
"Where's Logan?"
"I don't know." He looked exactly like his mum when he smiled an sometime that hurt but other times it was refreshing.
"Well if he isn't siting on that couch in 10 seconds then he's not going with us to see mummy." Logan came running out from behind the couch with bailey following him. He jumped up onto the couch and sat up straight.
"I'm ready."
"Did you tie your shoes?"
"Yes but they're still slippery."
"Then you didn't tie them tight enough."
"Can you tie them daddy?"
"Of course." I kneeled down and tied his shoes.
"Look daddy I tied mine." Collin held his shoe up to my face to show me.
"Good job buddy. Is everyone ready?"
"Yeah!" They all jumped up and ran towards the door with bailey following them and barking.
"Bailey you stay." He hung his head and walked over to his bed. I locked the front door and got the triplets into the car.
It took me awhile to warm up to the triplets after Lydia died but they were just so bright and bubbly that there was no way I couldn't love them. When they were about three I moved them back to Australia so they could be near their grandparents and their mums grave.
Every Saturday morning we visit her grave because that was her favourite time of the week. They loved going and talking to her about their week and what they've learned in school.
I tell them stories about her and how much alike they are to her.
Collin looks like her and most of the time acts like her. He's got the same smile and her green eyes. He's kind just like her and likes helping everyone.
Dylan had her curly hair and her stubbornness. If she didn't want to do anything there was no way you could make her.
Logan was nothing like her except he had her eyes. He was more like Ashton and I know she would've love that. She would've loved everything about all of them because they where hers. She always wanted kids of her own and I'm glad she got them for a little while before she died.
"Daddy can I talk to mummy first?" Dylan hopped out of the car and started jumping up and down beside me.
"Sure since Logan went first last time." She ran ahead of me and the boys and sat on Lydia's grave.
"Hi mummy. This morning daddy showed me a picture of you before we were born and we made your tummy so big but you were still very pretty. Daddy's teaching me how to tie my shoes and I can't understand how to do it. I wish you were here to teach me. Some of the kids at school make fun of us because we don't have a mummy and they do so I hit one the other day. Daddy said it was wrong but they were messing with Collin and I'm the only one allowed to mess with him. Uncle Ashton told us that he's getting married this winter. He said he'll bring her to meet us next week and I'll tell you if she's good enough for him. Now it's time for Logan to talk to you. I love you mummy and I wish I could have you here." She kissed the headstone and came to stand next to me.
"Hi mummy. I spent the week with uncle Niall and his wife Molly. She's really nice and pretty but not as pretty as you. They took me to the zoo and I saw all the animals. I even go to pet a goat! My favourite animal was the monkeys. They were so cool! Uncle Niall told me that Molly is pregnant. I'm not really sure what that means but her bellies really big. Oh and Peter told me to tell you hi." Peter was the giraffe Lydia gave him.
"I love you." He got up and stood next to Dylan. I grabbed their hands and pulled them towards the big tree so Collin could talk to her alone. He liked to talk to her alone which I understood at times.
-
"Hey Lyd. This week was kind of hard and been amazing to have you here to help me. I'm still learning the ropes of being a dad so sometimes I have to take a break and recover. I know you never took breaks when they were little an I always admired you for that but I'm just not as good as you. Like Logan said Molly is pregnant and they're thinking of naming her Lydia, if it even is a girl. The girl Ashton is marrying, Amelia, she's is good enough for him. You would've loved her and I know he loves her so that's good. I'm not gonna talk to you all day, I have to get back to the kids but I love you and I miss you everyday. Don't expect me to find a girl as wonderful as you that I would even consider marrying. It's never gonna happen." I placed my hand over her grave and stood there for a minute trying not to cry.