Find Me

Ch. 8

Demi's pov

its been four weeks since I've seen my daughters beautiful brown eyes. Four weeks since I've seen her smile. Four weeks since I've heard her voice. Four weeks since I've gotten her hugs. Four weeks since I failed her.

Wilmer's been around more due to this. Once he got to the hospital and realized how serious it all was, it gave him a reality check on what's important. Or what's important for now.

I've held off on the divorce because I want to see us try and work through this. I've spent 14 years with this man and I do still love him. However things are not the same as they were only weeks ago with us.

"Demi I know this isn't easy, but you've got to stop blaming yourself. Your making yourself sick. This isn't healthy and you're getting way to in your head. Alexia did what she did for a treason. To do what she did meant she had to have been in so much pain and not thinking clearly enough. Had we stopped her, she'd have only waited until she was able to do it again." He says.

I let his comment completely go in one ear and out the next as I vomit into the toilet for the 4th week straight.

How am I not supposed to feel sick? My daughter is in a coma, my husbands a cheating asshole, and my daughters fate is completely uncertain right now.

As the vomiting ends and I get up from the toilet I have a rather hard realization. I've been vomiting for 4 weeks and haven't had a period during any of those weeks. I've been so busy with work that I haven't even realized that I haven't had a period 3 months in a row.

"Are you ok? You just went pale Dems." Wilmer says.

I just feel my blood turn to ice water through my veins for the second time this month. This seriously can't happen. I don't need this to happen.

I lift my shirt up to see my stomach a bit more extended than normal and my heart just stops beating.

"You look fine Demi. You ha-" He starts but cuts himself off when he sees me look under the sink.

There's only one thing under the sink besides towels that we have and that's pregnancy tests. We were trying last year so we just kept a large amount. I never ended up pregnant but with where our marriage is now, I don't want to be now.

"You think you might be?" He asks just as worried as I am.

I say nothing as I open the box and piss on the stick. I don't even have to wait long for an answer. The second I finish peeing, it beeps. I look at the response and let tears fall, "Positive." I say before tossing it onto the box.

I hide my face in my hands and sob quietly. This is the last thing I wanted. My marriage isn't heathy right now and the last thing I wanted is a baby. I don't want to be forced to stay with him just because we have a second child who I know I'll need help with.

"Demi it'll be ok. We'll get through this." Wilmer says.

"I want to be left alone."

He sighs, "Alright."

I hear him step out of the bathroom and foot steps continue until our bedroom door closes. I stare at the test as I pull my sweatpants up.

"Of fucking course. Why not stack more problems on me?" I ask myself.

I walk into the bedroom and get into the bed as I see Wilmer's phone light up.

Amanda: Wilmer I'm scared.

Amanda: The test you told me to do is positive.

Amanda: I don't want a baby. I'm not ready.