Find Me

Ch. 24

Alexia's pov

"I want her to be taken home this morning. A hospital isn't the place for her to be in this condition right now. Her formula is at the house and she's now gone a full day without it and the vomiting didn't help her any yesterday. She can't afford to miss another day without it." I hear my mom say.

"I think Wilmer's going to have to stay with Amanda. Evidently she's gone into labor early. So he'll have to stay with her if she is since she's signing the paperwork to give him full custody of the baby. I have to get back to work and do does Stephanie. Is there anyway Dallas can stay with Alexia? I can take another day off if I have to, but I can't take a few more off." I hear Aunt Marilyn say.

"If you can take Alexia home I'll have Dallas meet you there. Will that work?" Mom question.

"Yes." Aunt Marilyn says.

I continue my fake sleeping and I feel a hand on my back before it's being rubbed. The gesture makes me feel quite calm and content if I'm honest.

"Is she still sleeping?" Mom asks.

"Yes." My aunt replies.

"She still feels so boney doesn't she?" My mom asks quietly.

"Not as badly as she used too. Only a few months ago it was like hugging a skeleton. She's getting healthier, but she's still got a long way to go." My aunt says.

Well I'm not as thin as I once was, but I'm still thinner than I should be is what I'm taking away from that comment. I'm sad I've gained weight but I guess it's better than having all the weight I was supposed to gain back in my body.

"It doesn't seem like she's getting better." My mom comments.

"You know that takes time Demi. It took time for you too. But she was in extremely bad shape and she's doing her best." Aunt Marilyn says.

Should I "wake up" so I don't have to listen to this conversation anymore? Or should I listen in to continue to hear what my mom has to say?

"I know, I just worry more than ever." My mom mumbles

"You have a reason to, she's not in the best place physically or emotionally." Aunt Marilyn says.

Yeah it's time to wake up before the advice given to my mom is watch me closer. I'm doing great at hiding food and I don't need to be watched more.

I open my eyes and my aunt immediately pushes my hair from my face, "How'd you sleep? You knocked out yesterday." She says.

I sit up on the couch and shrug, "Fine."

I can pretty much sleep anywhere in any condition. It's why I really don't mind going on tour with my mom. I can sleep on the plane, tour bus, car, or hotel. My sleep schedule isn't ever interrupted.

"You're going to go home with Marilyn and Dallas is going to watch you until I come home. Your dads with Amanda right now so he isn't an option to watch you." Mom says.

"K." I say having nothing more to really say.

"I love you." She says.

"I love you too."

"Ready kiddo?" Aunt Marilyn says.

"Yes, I want my bed."

I get up from the couch and my mom gives my aunt instructions on the feeding tube and my breakfast. I don't think she could have given a more detailed directions if she tried either. But once her instructions finally stop, I leave with my aunt.

The second I leave the room I feel relieved. Like the weight and stress of being asked to hold the baby it feel second place finally is taken off me. I know I'm second place now, but at least I don't have to see the face I'm second place too. That's relieving.

"How do you feel this morning?" My aunt asks.

"Normal."

I am not throwing over the toilet but am low on self confidence and feel depressed as hell. It's a normal day of feelings for me. I'd be concerned if I was happy and confident. Like what did someone slip in my drink kinda worried.

She feels my head to make sure as we walk down the hall, "You deciding to sleep was probably a good idea. You probably would have been throwing up more had your body had the chance."

See me sleeping a lot actually is good for something. It prevents me from feeling and from throwing up.

"Yeah, my stomach will hurt when I eat breakfast today, but I'll probably just sleep it off." I say.

The ride home was quiet but once I get inside I see aunt Dallas has beat us here. So my aunt gives her the same word by word and overly detailed breakfast instructions my mom gave my aunt. When her instructions are over she gives me a quick hug before leaving. That's when my aunt gets to work on making the formula for my feeding tube. When she has that made, I'm sadly forced into doing the tube feeding. Now that she has that going, she goes to the fridge and make the bowl of fruit.

"Is there any you prefer to eat?" My aunt asks.

"No, they all are awful. I don't even like fruit. I force feed it to myself everyday. So you can just throw whatever into the bowl, it won't make me like it or enjoy it any more." I say.

She does as I say and walks to me on the couch to pass me the bowl of fruit, "So did you hold your sister?" She asks.

"No."

I didn't even look at her so you bet I didn't hold her.

"She's pretty cute isn't she?" She asks

"I didn't look at her." I shrug.

She has a look of confusion plastered on her face, "What do you think of her name?" She asks.

"She's named after New York which is one of moms favorite places to go and my name sounds like anorexia. Good for her." I say with an eye roll.

"Not a fan of being an older sister are you?"

"I'm not a fan of a lot of things babies, food, snakes, spiders, bees, wasps, dads new girlfriend, dad having my half sibling, frogs, the heat, rain, and so on and so on. She's not special by being added into my dislike list."

I get started on eating the bowl of fruit as my aunt compiles more questions inside her head to ask me, "You talked to your dad, how did that go?" She asks.

"Great."

"Would you like to see him more?" She asks.

"He's my dad, yes."

Why does she have to ask so many questions? Geez.

"Miss him?" She ask.

"I don't want to talk about it." I snap.

It's none of her business to know all these things so she doesn't have a right to ask me such a personal question about my dad. I know she's looking for answers to report to my mom and I'm not about to have that happen. My mom can ask me herself, not have my aunt tell her everything she finds out.

I quickly finish the bowl of fruit and walk to the kitchen to put the bowl in the dishwasher. I then walk up stairs and hear my aunt say, "Stay down here for an hour Alexia."

"I'm keeping my bedroom door open and I'm not going to do anything." I hiss continuing my walk upstairs.

Once I get to my bedroom I just dive into my bed and get comfortable in my bed before checking my phone. I check Twitter first but immediately leave seeing my mom and dad trending over baby news. I then just go to Instagram and like what photos I want in my feed before I open Instagram stories. I just take a selfie and add a few stickers before posting it to my Instagram story.

With my social media activity done, I put my phone on my nightstand and decide to take a nap since I really don't have anything better to do to begin with.