Is It So Wrong To Be In Love? (Never Shout Never fan fiction)

What I can't live without: Chapter twenty-three

Chris looked to me puzzled once he saw Stacy, then looked to his mother, with a questioning look.

"Hey Chris. Hi Delilah..." Stacy said shyly, looking down. An awkward silence fell, but Chris's mom was the first to break it.

"So, Stacy wanted to talk with you privately for a moment." Chris's mom said then left. Stacy looked at me for a spilt second, then put her head back down. I could tell that  'privately' meant for me to leave the room. I scurried out of the room and into the guest room and ran into Jane's arms  and began telling her what Chris had said to me.

-Chris's POV-

 

Dammit, I really wanted to hear what Delilah had to say. Why'd Stacy have to have such terrible timing? But I couldn't deny that I'm curious for why Stacy came over. I didn't think that my "suicide attempt" had gotten out to the public, at least I hoped it didn't.

"Um, come sit down." I said, but came out as a whisper. Stacy nodded her head, and sat by the end of the bed.

"Is now a good time to be here? If you  want me to leave, I can go." Stacy asked.

"No, it's all fine. Not to sound rude, but uh, why'd you come here?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound mean. But if I did come off as rude, Stacy did sort of deserve it. She did cause Delilah and I a lot of problems. I wonder if the cheating thing never happened with Stacy, if Delilah and I would have still ended up together?

"Well Taylor told me about what happened. They wanted to come and visit you, but couldn't get a flight. And since I was already in town, I wanted to come and check on you. Are you doing okay?" She asked.  Asking if I'm "okay" is such a complicated question.

"Oh. And I'm as okay as one could be that's pretty depressed I guess." Sounding a tad sarcastic.

"Chris I don't like that you're depressed. It makes me want to cry almost. I know that you probably hate me still, but I've known you for years, so I'm going to care and worry about you. I miss the days when you were happy. Remember those days? Your songs were happy, the people around you were happy, your fans were happy, but most importantly you were happy. Where'd that happiness go?" Stacy asked. I hate to admit it, but Stacy got me thinking. Where did my happiness go? I've been feeling so shitty for so long that I had to depend on Delilah for joy. I lost sight of finding happiness in myself, and looked for it in other people. And when I get to thinking about it, I can't even figure out when I lost my drive for living.

"I-I hardly even remember those days...I almost forgot they even ever happened. I used to be pretty happy, wasn't I? God, I'm so grateful that Audrey and my mom found me before anything horrible happened to me!" I said crying slightly. I hardly ever cry so when I do, I mean it. Stacy pulled me into a warm hug, and I began crying into her shoulder. I realized that it wasn't because of Delilah directly for me wanting to kill myself, but when she broke up with me, it just triggered me.

"I'm glad you're still alive Chris, really I am. You have a great soul, and you can't just throw it away. But if you don't mind me asking, why did you try to kill yourself?" She asked softly.

"Well I initially planned on doing it because of Delilah, you've probably heard that we broke up. But really, it wasn't Delilah that made me want to die. I guess I've always been a little suicidal, but never really acknowledged it. She was the only bit of happiness I had, and when I lost her, I thought I couldn't take it. Eh, I sound crazy." I said awkwardly.

"You don't sound crazy at all. People grow attached to others, it happens. It's just how you handle it is what matters most." Stacy couldn't have been more right about everything she'd been saying. I would have never expected for her to actually have something worthy of saying. But she did, and I feel relieved talking to her. I feel like my burden has been lifted. Stacy and I ended up talking for hours. She curled up to me, and we just talked about everything imaginable. We talked about everything from death to if I prefer paper or plastic. It simply turned out to be a nice, honest conversation. I found myself enjoying Stacy's company. Thankfully, Stacy wasn't trying to even flirt with me. She's a cute girl, but not my type  and I don't care for any relationship for quite a while. Even if the person is Zooey Deschanel, I'm not interested...maybe.