Beginnings and Endings (magcon fanfic)

Chapter 19

Alex's P.O.V

Lillian falls asleep in the car. When we get back to my house I have to wake her up even though I don't want to. "Lillian," I nudge her a little. "We're home let's go."

"No I'm tired." she mumbles. I get out of the car and walk around to her door.

"Well you can sleep all you want inside." I pick her up and set her on the ground. I bring her inside and take her up to my room. She falls flat on the bed, still in her dress, and puts a pillow over her face.

"I know you're tired but don't you at least want to change?" I ask her.

"Fine." she mumbles through the pillow. I go to my dresser and get out some pajamas she left the last time she stayed over. She hasn't moved from her position on my bed.

"I know we're friends Lil, but I'm not dressing you." I'm about to tell her to get up again when her phone beeps.

"Hey Lilly I think that was your phone." I hand it to her.

She looks at the screen and instantly frowns."Alex," her voice cracks. "Look what people are saying about me." she hands me her cell phone.

Maryann posted something about her party but the comments are all about Lillian.

'Lillian is such a wannabe'

'Why did Maryann even invite that loser freshman'

'She's such a slut for making out with Shane in that closet'

'Lillian is only pretending to like Maryann to get popular'

There's more. Almost every comment is about her. I look up and she's crying. "Hey come on don't believe anything these people say. They don't even know you." she continues to cry.

"Do you want something to eat..." I try and distract her.

"No I-" she stops mid sentence and runs out of the room.

"Lilly?" I race after her into the hall. I follow her into the bathroom and she falls to the floor and throws up in the toilet.

Once she finishes she leans back against the wall of the tiny bathroom. Why did she just puke?

"I drank." she answers my thoughts.

"What?"

"At the party. I drank. I didn't want to, you know, because of my dad. I told myself that I would never ever drink alcohol but I did." she sniffles.

"But why? If you didn't want to then why did you?" I ask her softly.

"Everybody else was and I just wanted to fit in. For once I didn't feel like a suicidal freak I just felt normal." she wipes her tears. "But never again. I hate throwing up."

"Says the girl who was bulimic last year." I joke.

"Well I'm not doing it on purpose anymore." She smiles weakly.

"Hey Lil?" She looks at me.

"Yeah?"

"Don't bite my head off but I think you should live with Matthew." I hold my breath and wait for her answer.

"I-I don't think that's such a good idea." she tells me.

I sigh and look her in the eyes. "I love you Lillian. You're funny and caring and my best friend. The thought of not getting to see you everyday and being so far away from you kills me, but I know that you'd be happier with your brother."

"I didn't know you loved me so much." she sniffles.

"Even though you won't admit it I know you miss your brother. And I know that you're cutting again he can help you. Don't go for me. Go for yourself."

She leans forward a little and pulls me into a hug. "I love you too Alex. So much."

When we finally pull away I remember something. "Oh shoot I should probably tell my parents that you're spending the night."

"It's okay. I already did." I turn around and see my brother standing in the doorway.

"Oh. Um, thanks Todd."

"No problem Alex. Goodnight bro."

"Goodnight." I say back.

"Goodnight Lil." He tells Lillian.

"Night." She responds.

Once my brother leaves I stand up and reach my hand out for Lillian. "C'mon. Let's go to bed."

She grabs my hand and I pull her up. She hugs me again. "You such a good friend. The best friend anyone could ever have and I don't deserve you." she says into my shoulder.

I pull her back so she's looking at me. "Ah I'm not so great. And don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve the world."

I kiss her head and take her back to my room.