17 and Pregnant

Chapter Twelve: Mourning

“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” 

― Anne Lamott

                                                          ***

        The news was unbelievable. So unbelievable that all I could do was go up to my room and cry, just cry. I looked into the mirror, just to see how bad I looked. I knew I looked bad, but I kind of surprised myself. I had eyeliner running down my face, my hair hadn't been brushed and was sticking to my face-thanks to my tears, I was still in my pajamas, I had my glasses on, and my face was puffy from crying. I decided to just go to my big, warm bed and cry myself to sleep.

She was perfect in my eyes.

Perfect

She's gone. Gone. 

        That word gave me goosebumps. Gone. That's a powerful word. People say love is a powerful word, which I agree love is a very powerful word but I believe gone is a more powerful word. Gone is a word that can take everything from you. 

        I don't remember exactly falling asleep but I did. I woke up with an arm around me, my immediate reaction was to kick this mystery person out of my bed. I heard the stranger who didn't really sound like a stranger groan when he hit the floor. I jumped up out of bed as soon as I heard him groan. 

I knew thst groan-Carter's groan.

        "Carter! I'm so sorry!" I said as I bent over in laughter. He just looked at me like I was crazy. "I really am sorry. I'm laughing because I can't believe I did that. And, also because it was you who I kicked."

        "Oh my goodness! I didn't know pregnant people could kick so hard!" He picked himself off the floor and dusted himself off. 

        "Me either.." I said as I sat back down on my bed. "Are you okay?"

        "I'm fine, thanks. I came over to check on you and it looks like you're doing fine." He chucked. 

        "I've been better." I said as tears just started streaming down my face. Carter came over and wrapped me in his arms. 

        "Everything will be okay, I promise." He cooed into my hair.

        "She's gone!" I sobbed into his chest. "My Grammy never got to meet you or my baby.."

"It'll get better, I promise. If not, you can blame me all you want." He leaned back and looked into my eyes. "To change the subject since I hate seeing beautiful people crying.. How's school?" 

"I mean, it's school.." I wiped under my eyes, trying to dry the tears. "Someone told people at school that I'm pregnant. I don't know who but I tend to find out. None of my friends would tell and I don't think any of your friends would tell. I'm just so confused. But, according to the rumors; the father of my baby is Kaleb Green from down the street, I'm two months, I'm dating you to cover up Kaleb's mistake by getting me pregnant, and that I'm cheating on you with Kaleb." 

"Wow. All that is going around your school?" He asked. "I wonder who told."

"I don't know but I'm going to ask the girl who they told and then ask people from there." 

"How far along are you?" Carter asked.

I stood up from Carter's arms and stood up straight placing my hands on my back like most pregnant woman do. "I am four months in two days. So I am three months, three weeks, and five days."

"That's unbelievable.." Carter thought deeply.

"What's unbelievable?" I asked.

"We've been dating for one month in two days. I can't believe that I've been so lucky for a month." 

I was blushing I could tell. "I'm pretty sure that I am the lucky one but that is crazy."

"Nope. I'm the lucky one." He shot back.

"We're defiantly not doing this back and fourth thing right now because I'm the lucky one." I said.

"I'm the lucky one." Carter mumbled under his breath. 

I broke down crying. It's the hormones and the sadness from the recent death mixing together which shouldn't end well. 

"What's wrong?" Carter asked standing up from the bed. 

"You're just so nice and sweet and I'm so lucky and my Grammy will never meet you." I sobbed probably not even making real words come out of my mouth. 

"It's okay Bear. Here, lay down." Carter pulled the covers back on my bed. I got into my bed and once Carter got into my bed too I immediantly cuddled into him and eventually fell asleep.

***

When I woke up Carter was gone probably home to change. I got out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen where I smelt a heavenly scent- lobster. Walking into the kitchen, still half asleep I saw Carter, my dad, and mom all cooking and laughing together. 

You could tell my mom was crying hard and that her eyeliner started to run, which was now wiped off as best as she could. My dad looked untouched and well, Carter, he looked flawless as always. 

I did a fake cough to get their attention. "May I ask what is going on?"

"You were so upset so we all decided it'd be a good idea to fix your favorite dinner for you." Mom asnwered. 

"You guys are the best!" I gave my parents a hug then went to give Carter a hug.

My dad hit Carter with a towel, "Paws off!" I let go of Carter and smiled.

"Hey, Bear, I got you some of your favorite things." Carter said as he went into the living room.

"And, what would those favorites be?" I asked. My parents left the kitchen going into their bedroom, talking.

"Your favorite flowers, candy, and movie." Carter said, walking in with his hands behind his back. 

"Which would be?" I asked. 

"Your favorite flower is a tiger lily, favorite candy is Reeses, and your favorite movie is The Notebook." Carter revealed his hands that had a bouquet of tiger lilies, a bag of Reeses and the movie, The Notebook. I grabbed my gifts and set them on the island. 

I gave him a hug then leaned out of it. "But, you're wrong." He gave me a confused frown. "The Fault in Our Stars is my favorite move, because that was basically our first date." With that being said, he captured my lips in an enchanting kiss. I broke the kiss, taking his hand we walked outside to a wooden bench and sat down.  

I snuggled my nose into his neck, just taking the scent of him in. "I love you." I mumbled.

"I love you too Bear. I love you too." Carter whispered into my ear, placing one single kiss on my temple.