falling from the stars

ch. 23

Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine...

Today's my last day in the hospital and I can't wait to get out of here. The only thing I like about it is that it has more TV channels than we do at home, but otherwise, its like purgatory on Earth. Everything is way too clean. I just wanna let a couple pigs run through and trash the place. It also ALWAYS smells like pee, mixed with the bleach used to clean it up. And the lights are on throughout the day. Yeah, I know. Headache Central. 

But I get to go home tomorrow morning at exactly 10 AM. I'm practically counting the minutes until I can say sayonara to this establishment. Focused on the TV and the little construction paper kids on the TV yelling profanities at me, I almost didn't notice Mike walk in with a little smile on his face. It wasn't until he waved in my face that I tore my attention away from the screen to his high cheekbones.

"South Park, huh?"

"Yeah. It keeps me entertained. Its like the only chaotic thing here, other than my whole existence. I need a little insanity if I'm gonna be trapped here." Which was ironic of me to say, seeing as I was on the "Mental Health" section of the wing, also known as the place all the suicidal, homocidal weirdos go. So basically, the insane ward. 

"Mom told me to come tell you that she has work until 1 AM so she won't be able to visit you today, but she insisted upon letting you know that she loved you. Yknow, just in case anything were to happen. You know her, she's probably in the kitchen of the diner frantically trying to calm herself down right now!"

I eyed Mike carefully, with a slight frown on my face.

"Oh God, I'm sorry Billie. I- I didn't... Look I'm just not used to this okay. This whole, 'supportive brother' thing."

It had stung a little to know Mom was too worried about me to do what she needs to. She doesn't deserve me as a son. What kind of loving son tries to destroy his parents prized possession.. their kid? It's evil.

I winced at the thought of being evil. I wasn't. I hope. "It's okay, I understand. She doesn't deserve this."

Mike looked at my funny. "Deserve what?"

"What are you, some type of idiot? She doesn't deserve to deal with a fucked up kid. She's got enough on her plate."

"Please tell me you aren't thinking of doing it again." Mike looked at me sternly.

I heard Cartman, the dumb fat kid, yell something about Kyle being a stupid fucking jew. It felt out of place. I shut the TV off.  

"No Mike, actually the opposite. I'm gonna try to be so much better than who I was. It's too late to go back to school, so I'm gonna get a job and focus on doing what I love. I wanna make her proud of me again. I'm not sure when the last time she felt that was."

"What are you gonna do that you love, Bill?"

"I'm gonna make music."