Judgement (John Seed X Deputy OC)

11 - Lost Friends

'Ngh!' A sharp intake of breath and the feeling of mattress springs ricocheting against my spine made me open my eyes blearily. Harlow was sitting upright, her skin ladened in sweat. It must be a nightmare again. They came like clockwork every time we tried to rest in this damn bunker.

'Was it a bad one?' My mumbling was met with no response. Engulfed in the warmth of the silk sheets, I felt her weight shift off of the bed and heard her pad down the bunker and round the corner into the bathroom. There was silence for a few minutes and I could've dozed back off it wasn't for the vacant sob that escaped into the room. Lifting my heavy head from the pillow, I heaved myself upright and walked quietly into the bathroom. Leaning into the doorframe, I folded my arms over my bare chest and crossed my ankles. All I could do was watch her. Face buried beneath tangled brunette hair and hidden behind scarred hands, she wept. In that moment I could see the weight of the world bearing down onto her shoulders; the weight of what she believed she had done to all those that she loved. Gasping huge intakes of breath, she wound herself up even more to the point of pure exhaustion. Lifting a tear stained face to look at me, my black heart broke for her. I knew that look. It was the exact same one I'd give the Duncans as they whipped and whipped and whipped me. Beating me down until I was nothing but a quivering mess. An empty husk.

'Make it stop.' She pleaded at me, wrapping her arms around her now trembling naked body. 'Please make it stop.'

'I wish I could.' My words were almost lost they came out so quietly. But Harlow heard them, tilting her head back against the wall and letting tears slide down her cheeks in desperation.

'You should've let Joseph kill me.' There it was. The sentence that came out of her mouth every single night. My response was always the same.

'I had to repay the favour.' And it was true. In my time of need she'd kept me alive. Now I had to do the same for her. Bare feet finally connecting with the cool tiles on the floor, I bent down next to her. Sliding one arm under her legs and the other bracing her back, I lifted her weight up. She had become so light from the lack of food. As if by instinct, she pressed her head against my chest; moist cheeks dampening my skin. Carrying her back to bed, I slid her weak body back under the sheets. Easing myself in next to her, she rolled over and curled herself up as small as she possibly could against me. My fingers found themselves gently massaging her scalp, unknotting any tangles they came across. At my rhythmic touch she seemed to relax, her muscles unclenching and her skin smoothening out any goosebumps. 'Better now?'

'Yes.' She said subserviently, knowing it was what I wanted to hear. Yet I knew it was far from the truth.

'Mmm...' Throwing an arm across the bed, I soon realised that I was alone. There was no Harlow tucked in beside me. Instead a pillow lay vertically pressed against my chest. Grumbling, I threw it onto the floor and rubbed at my ocean blue eyes. I should probably get up. As I dressed myself, I studied the small scratch marks all over my arms. They had healed overnight but I made sure to cover them with both my jumper and jacket not to cause alarm.

Boots perfectly laced up, I strode out onto the veranda to find Prosperity busy with life. I'd obviously slept in which wasn't surprising after last nights events. Surveying the front lawn, I watched Sharky drop some kind of chemical all over the grass. It whizzed and popped, staining the green into a bright purple. 'Boshaw...' I grumbled under my breath, eyes then moving over to Nick who was wheeling a tyre along towards the garage. It was only then in the corner of my vision that I caught sight of the Judge at the training camp. Bow in hand, they loosed a steady stream of arrows at the targets with each one meeting its mark perfectly. Interest piqued, I made my way over and pushed my back up against one of the poles that held the monkey bars up. 'You're pretty good with that thing.' As usual the Judge said nothing. They didn't flinch or even acknowledge that I was there, just continuing to loose arrow after arrow. 'I know someone who is even better with a bow though.' In a flash, the Judge whipped around and shot an arrow straight at me. The spearhead stabbed into the wood a few inches from the top of my head, springing up and down upon impact. Even so, I showed no signs of being startled or panicked. Reaching up I wrenched it out of place and handed it back, to which the Judge gave a satisfied grunt. 'So you're New Eden's greatest fighter huh?' Another garbled noise came from behind the white mask which was now back to focussing on targets. 'Wanna prove it?' I inched closer to them, ready to strike. Within seconds a leg wound around the back of my right one and tripped me up with ease. 'Agh!' My short shout of agony came from the pain that radiated through my kneecap, my weak spot after the plane crash from many years ago. 'How'd you kn-' Before I could finish, the gates to Prosperity opened. Lara stumbled forward, a body in her arms. Thomas Rush.

***

That evening we gathered together and gave Rush the funeral he deserved. I didn't know him well but he seemed like a decent enough man. Candles were lit, prayers were sung and flowers were laid. One by one, people started to slowly peel away from the scene until it was just myself and the Captain left.

'I'm gonna fucking kill those twins.' She hissed as hot tears slid down her cheeks.

'Doing that won't bring him back.' I shrugged, hands deep in my jean pockets.

'I don't care.' She growled, sniffing hard.

'Look kid, I've lost a few people in my lifetime and I know it isn't easy-'

'You've taken a fair few lives too.' Hostility rose in her voice but I knew she was just upset. Unable to respond I closed my mouth and simmered over her words. 'There's this power... Joseph gave to me.' She began to speak, lifting her black fingerless gloves to her face to inspect her hands. 'I dunno how it works but it saved my life today.'

'Joseph doesn't give without taking.' I spat, looking up at the now dark night sky.

'You resent him so much but you're just as bad! How many innocent people were killed because of you and your fucking cult?' Lara whirled round at me, pinning her anger and upset onto my shoulders. 'You act like you're some kind of fucking martyr but in reality you're just a low-life piece of shit. You're nothing John Seed, nothing!' Her screeches could be heard from all around and I swallowed heavily. She wasn't wrong. Mouth tightening into a thin line, I turned on my heel and strode away from her. As I entered back into Prosperity, the Judge stood in my path as though they'd been watching the entire exchange.

'Move!' Lashing out, my palm connected with their chest. I shoved them out of the way and they toppled over. My footsteps kept moving, storming past them and stomping back to my room.