Judgement (John Seed X Deputy OC)

19 - Safe and Sound

Bathed in a cold sweat I flew upright in my bed. The duvet peeled away from my bare chest as I panted. Damp black hairs dangled over my brow and I swept them back in one shaky movement. It felt as though something inside me had been torn out. As though something inside me had died. Inhaling deeply through flared nostrils, the sound of the gates opening outside made my ears prick. They must have returned. Heaving my weight out of the bed, I padded out onto the veranda and felt relief flood through my veins as Lara's blood spattered face emerged from the darkness. The Judge dragged their feet behind her, seeming somewhat drained. Nick and Kim came out of the garage and wrapped Lara into a tight hug. They must've stayed up to see if she returned safely. Heading down into the courtyard, blades of grass tickled the bottoms of my feet as I approached. Nick and Kim pulled apart from her and she looked at me for the first time in a few days without that disgruntled expression on her face.

'I need to talk to you.' Her voice wobbled a little and my brow furrowed. Taking my wrist in her small hand, she pulled me aside and sighed heavily. 'Joseph's...' She choked up a little, her eyes darting to stare at the ground.

'I know.' I replied quietly, aware that her fingers were still tightly holding onto my wrist. Of course I knew. That feeling I'd had when I woke up, I'd only ever felt it once before and that was when Jacob had died.

'There's... oh God there's something else...' Stuffing her hand into her pocket, she produced a crumpled letter. 'I was going to show you this when I got back from New Eden the first time round but when everything with Rush happened I just... ugh here.' She thrust the paper at me. 'I found them in the bunker.' Unfolding it, my hands began to shake as I recognised the writing style immediately.

You know. You know best. God tells you. If I listen to you, it's good, and right, and I can help, and I can save people, and make it right, and everything will be okay. If I judge as your judge the judgement is right and just, the judgement is God's word. I see now. I am so sorry. Please give me a mask. I am afraid. No one can know me. Please let me be reborn like the world, cleansed of sin and new, and I will fight to cleanse the sin. Thank you Joseph. Thank you Father.

My blue eyes slowly raised from the paper and landed on the Judge who stood with their back to me a few metres away.

'No...' I choked, looking down at the paper again.

'I'm sorry, I should've said something sooner but I was so fucking angry with you.' Lara gave an exasperated sigh but I ignored her, shoving past. Heading straight for the Judge, I tried to grab them from behind but they wiggled from my grip.

'Woah John, easy there.' Nick tried to pull me away but I persisted. Launching towards them, I grabbed their hood and the stitching ripped as they tried to run. Yanking them with force towards me, Nick tried to prize my arm away. 'The fuck are you doing? Leave 'em alone!'

'Get off of me Rye.' I grunted, holding the Judge by the shoulders and spinning them to face me. Screeching from beneath the mask they head-butted me and sprinted away whilst I was dazed. Shaking my head, I gave chase and managed to catch their leg as they tried to climb over the rafters of the village. As they thudded to the ground face first, there was a horrendous tearing sound followed by a groan. Struggling upright, the Judge turned to face me with fists balled. But it didn't matter. The front of their shirt was torn open and I could see all I needed to see.

WRATH

There was no other person in the world who had a scar like that on their chest. Brow creasing in distress, it felt like my heart had stopped.

'John you can't fucking do that to people!' Nick hurried over but Kim was already there to stop him from interfering. She knew too. Breaths shallow and hot, I reached my tattooed hand out to take the rim of the white mask into my grip. Immediately the Judge's fingers wrapped around my wrist as though to stop me but I didn't comply. Easing the wooden material away, Harlow's gaunt face emerged from underneath. Pale as a ghost with dark circles around her eyes, she looked almost dead.

'You and your fucking Wrath.' The words came out thick with emotion as I pulled her into my arms. My hand found its way to the back of her head and pressed her skull against my collarbone. She'd been under my nose the whole damn time. Harlow's arms remained limp at her sides but I did feel her inhale deeply against my skin, taking in my scent.

'Dep?' Nick approached quietly, not fully believing what he was seeing. 'Is that really you?' Blinking lazily, Harlow turned her face from the crook of my neck to look at the pilot who she once called her best friend. Removing the cap from his head, Nick's face contorted into one of deep upset. Unable to hold her gaze, he spun on his heel and made his way into the house. Kim sighed heavily and trailed after him, rubbing her hand over her face uncomfortably. Lara had seemingly left too, most likely when I had realised the truth.

'C'mon. You need rest.' I was struggling to process all of it. How could she have been here this entire time and not said anything? It didn't make any sense. Threading my hand into my own, I took her up to my room and sat her down on the edge of my bed. Harlow cast her eyes down to the floor and avoided looking at me. She clutched at her arm as though she was wounded. Crouching in front of her, I smoothed my hands over her knees and tried to catch her eye. 'Harlow? Look at me sweetheart.' Despite my attempts at being kind and gentle she still avoided my stare. Turning her face away from me I let out a heavy breath and began to unbutton her shirt. I couldn't stand seeing her in those clothes. They weren't her at all. As her pale flesh was revealed underneath, I could see the outline of her ribs heaving beneath her bare chest. I'd never hated Joseph more than in this moment for what he'd done to her. Peeling the shirt away from her arms, I discarded it into the bin and rummaged around in the cupboard for something for her to wear. My fingers cast across my old silk blue shirt and I removed it from the hangar. Slipping it onto her torso, she seemed to relax a little more at the touch of the material she remembered so well. Removing the gloves, trousers and boots that clung onto her now small frame I had to pause and stare at her. She was so tiny and frail. Pulling my lip into a thin line to avoid tears slipping from my eyes, I supported her spine and lay her back onto the covers. She instinctively curled up into a tight ball, closing her green eyes and falling into a deep sleep. Hunkering down into my office chair, I reached below the desk and produced an old bottle of whiskey that I'd managed to preserve from the collapse. Pouring the dark liquid into a glass I swigged it thoughtfully as I watched Harlow's chest rise and fall slowly. The blue silk shirt hung from her, covering her knees and pooling onto the bed. My eyes were latched onto her form and daren't look away incase she made a run for it again. Taking a large sip, the alcohol stung the back of my throat and but it kept me awake so I didn't mind. I wanted answers. No, I needed answers. But it would have to wait until the morning.