zach

24

You're not good enough for anyone, you can't satisfy Zach, you're literally a piece of fucking shit and nobody likes you babe, that's the sad truth. You're not skinny enough, definitely not pretty enough. Your mind is too fucked up for anyone to love you honey. And that's that. My mind kept telling me. I knew not all of it was true and I was being really fucking dramatic, but when you're as messed up as I am, that's all you really know. They finally sent me home after the incident and I haven't gone outside once. It wasn't even that I was sad, I was just so numb. I couldn't feel anything. I didn't even wanna die anymore because I felt like I was already dead.

All I've been doing since I got here was pop Valium and watch re runs of skins. Oh, and did I mention I went to a couple of wild parties and got so smacked I woke up on sunset blvd? Well yeah that happened too. You're probably thinking to yourself, "Where was Zach when all of this happened?" He's touring around the west coast and I haven't talked to him in a month. Yup, my names Ashley Grainjer and I've gone 31 days Zachless, I guess you could say I'm sober now.

1 missed call from Zach my phone reads. He used to call 30 times a day but I suppose he's slowly giving up on me, and I know you're probably thinking, "It's your fucking fault." and it is, it really is. I'm not gonna sit and cry over a mistake I made, nope I'm gonna do it the Ashley way and lay on my bed and shoot up until I can't feel, which is much less cliche than crying. I know I should've called back and told him how much I needed him but the truth is I really just need a break. And it's not like he didn't know I was okay I had Sasha and Lux talk to him about it. I was better than ever, really!