Salvation

Chapter 3

I'm sitting in the car with my parents who I very rarely see anymore. Everyone works opposite shifts.

So just a big heads up here I know this story is considerably darker than my last but huge trigger warnings ahead. Mostly suicide related. Please proceed with caution.

...

Junmyeon clutched the small bag in his hands, swallowing the lump in his throat and praying he didn't look as guilty as he felt. He risked a peek inside. Another bottle of beer of course. A small package of dried ramen. A bottled water. And a candy bar. Not legally purchased.

Junmyeon, in the few years that he'd bounce between living spaces and jobs, had never resorted to stealing to get the necessities. He always had just enough cash, or would dumpster dive if he got desperate. The local diners and fast food joints had caught wind though, and leftovers no longer appeared in their dumpsters, much to his dismay. But he had run out of money and with it, all his hope. He snatched a bag from the trash outside and walked into the small corner store. Wandering and stuffing things in it inside his jacket.

"Sir?" He stiffened when a voice spoke behind him amd he kept walking. "Sir!" The voice called again, sounding closer. Junmyeon just kept walking, head bent slightly and grip on his bag tightening. Maybe if he looked inconspicuous the person wouldn't want to talk to him anymore. "Sir, stop!" the voice said, but Junmyeon pretended he didn't hear, weaving his way between people who grunted as he passed. Any other day and maybe he would've cared more about his appearance, but right now his only goal was to get away.

After what Junmyeon determined to be about half an hour he finally shook away the strange person calling his name. He wove his way back to the alleyway he'd set up camp in, settling down onto his small pile of ratty blankets, the only comfort he'd managed to snag himself. He sighed, leaning against the wall behind him and expertly popping the top of his beer and taking a long drink. He devoured his candy bar, closing eyes.

A thief. This was what his life had fallen to. Gone were happy days where Junmyeon thought he had a future secure. Now were days filled with surviving off table scraps and finding shelter in the crevices of Seoul, praying simultaneously that someone would find him amd no one would notice him. He felt like a walking hypocricy. He supposed it was still better than locked in a battle over everything he owned to a woman who barely loved him, even though he threw absolutely everything he was into their relationship, trying to nurture it into something more. It was almost enough to make him miss the days of growing up in his father's house. At least he had a roof over his head.

As the sun set and Junmyeon's tiny world plunged into darkness he reflected back, much like he did moat nights. If he'd never met Eunha what could his life had been like? He'd wanted to be a teacher, and later a journalist. But he'd put a lot of that off in order to hurry and marry Eunha, afraid of letting her slip away. He saw, very vividly, how that turned out. Broken home, broken marriage, broken man.

"Sir." Junmyeon was pulled from his self loathing as a light was shined down his little alleyway, illuminating the world around him. He squinted, vision swimming in and out of focus. He gulped when he saw the police uniform though. "What are you doing here?" the man asked Junmyeon, shining his flashlight around some more.

"Um." Junmyeon didn't have a good excuse this time. So he remained silent, really hoping the officer would just get bored and move on. He squirmed under another intense set of eyes, something igniting inside of him. Something akin to what he felt at Baekhyun's. He always felt like the looks around him were directed right at him. Looks of disgust and contempt. Tears unexpectedly sprang to the grown man's eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. The officer, who witnessed the inner battle on the sad man in front of him, finally moved off, determining he was harmless. Junmyeon sighed, once again leaning on the wall behind him, this time switching to his bottled water. He scanned his surroundings. Dark. Brooding. Unwelcoming. No place for a man to live.