Salvation

Chapter 7

I am wearing a tank top. Something I don't think I've ever worn on its own. But I'm melting.

So I really don't have much to say. I can't defend myself for being away so long. I'm not gonna lie, I hadn't felt motivated to write...well, anything...in awhile. It's not like I disliked the things I'm writing about. I just... I dunno.

...

Junmyeon sat in the rather large circle, gazing around at empty, blank stares and wishing the ground would swallow him whole. He didn't belong here. Not any more than the next guy anyway. He squirmed in his seat. The meeting hadn't even started and he already wanted it to be over. But it had been added to his weekly list of activities, penciled in for two hours every Wednesday. So during the duration of his stay, he would have to go.

"Hello." Junmyeon glanced up as another man entered the room, carrying a clipboard in one hand and what looked like a to go coffee cup in another. "Sorry I'm late everyone, the line at Java Hut was beyond long today." A general buzz swept over the crowd, many voices calling out greetings and telling him it was alright. The man sat down in the middle of their circle, swinging his gaze around. "I see a few new faces today. Well for those that don't know me, I'm Kim Jongin. I was once in your place." He took a long draft from his coffee cup, setting it down. "I'll start this meeting much like I start every meeting. I'll tell you about me, and then of anyone is interested in sharing their own stories, you can." He leaned back against the chair, the clipboard balanced on one of his knees, his fingers laced behind his head. "I was a promising basketball player at one point. Could've scored a deal with any university of my choosing. Instead I went out drinking after every game. Then after every game turned into multiple times a week. Before I knew it, my potential career was gone, swept away before I could ever see how it could've played out." Junmyeon swore the man looked right at him. "All that mattered in that moment was when I could get my hands on more. My family had no idea I was slowly being consumed, and I didn't want them to know. They couldn't. I was their little superstar." Junmyeon felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He felt for the man. "Finally my best friend Kyungsoo literally slapped the sense into me and carted me off to here, where I began months of recovery. I'm three years sober as of last month."

"Awesome Jongin!" someone called out, and applause filled the silence. Jongin's lips ticked and he marked a few things on his clipboard. He glanced around.

"Anyone willing to share?" he asked. Everyone seemed to find something fascinating with the floor. Their shoes. Anything that wasn't Jongin's soft stare. "Does someone who's been here awhile want to go?" Jongin fired that question next. "Maybe break the ice?"

"I'll go," a voice spoke up. Several pairs of eyes swivelled to find where it came from. "I'm Kim Jongdae. I was a partier for much of my university life. Cared more about red cups and cute girls than passing grades and good marks. My teachers began to notice the decline as my years stretched on. Somehow I passed, which was a miracle because I'm pretty sure my blood type was booze my last year. I think I went to more frat parties than I did classes. I lost a lot of good friends, and potential lovers, because I just couldn't put forth effort into anything that wasn't the next bottle clutched tightly in my fist."

"How'd you find your way here?" Jongin prompted gently. Jongdae whipped up to meet his gaze. Junmyeon watched on as entire conversation seemed to happen between the two men, no dialogue required. "To clarify, by the way, Jongdae doesn't stay at the facility anymore," Jongin added. "He still comes to the meetings of his own accord." Jongdae dipped his head in acknowledgement.

"Yep," he said. "I actually had my crowning moment, I think, when I graduated university and then... What? I'd never thought that far ahead. Hell some weekends I had no idea if I would make it to Monday alive. Let alone the rest if my life. So there I was, a degree in phycology I didn't even remember getting, all alone. I'd alienated myself from everyone, pushing them away time and time again until they no longer came back. So I forced myself to quit, cold turkey. But let me tell you, it was torture. After spending so many years of your life wasting it away on stuff that isn't good for you, it begins to depend on that to function normally. It's something they don't mention very often. That dependence your body now has on your addiction in order for you to be a human."