Salvation

Chapter 8

I have never followed a survival show, or a project group, so closely in my life guys. I can't wait for X1. I already have my bias even lol.

This just goes to show how long this chapter has actually been written. X1 debuted and disbanded already (but yay Wooseok all the same. He's my baby).

...

"Just fuck off will you?" Junmyeon was shook off like he was nothing. He held the drawing in his two little hands, gripping it so tight he crinkled the paper. Tears welled in his eyes as he backed slowly out of the study, afraid of upsetting the man father. The shiney gold star at the top didn't seem as bright or flashy anymore. It wasn't a job well done. Not when he himself was a disappointment.

For years and years it went that way. Junmyeon trying, and failing, to capture his father's attention. Trying to succeed and make the man proud even if it never worked. By the time he reached his teens he'd given up. He didn't try with his mother to begin with. She didn't care, and made that known pretty much right away.

He was lucky to meet the friends he did. They cared about him. They loved him. They showed him he was worthy of the love he was deprived of at home. They made him feel safe. And then he met Eunha. She set his world alight with a new feeling. One he didn't understand at the time.

"You're cute," she giggled to him any time he did, well, anything. Most often it was him fumbling over himself as he attempted to impress her. So then he would be clumsy on purpose, just because he loved her laugh. "Call me sometime, okay cutie?" she said, eventually slipping him a piece of paper and a wink. He held the paper in his hands, grinning like an idiot and shaking slightly, afraid of what was to come but fully ready to dive in head first.

High school was a different beast altogether. Eunha sweetened up to him quickly, and they began going out the summer before year ten. Baekhyun and Chanyeol tried to warn him off, saying how she wasn't good for him and he wouldn't be happy. But their words fell on deaf ears. Junmyeon loved her. So much so that he was willing to do just about anything she asked of him, no questions asked. She asked him to stop writing so frequently and pay more attention to her.

"Don't you love me?" she'd always ask, her bottom lip jutted out in a small pout. Junmyeon set his journals and works aside after that, not wanting to cause a wedge in their relationship. He often did miss it, writing being one of his only solaces for so long, but Eunha came first. He also found himself alienated from his friends more often than not, but he swallowed down the feeling of doubt in favor of spending more time with Eunha. By then they were nearing graduation. And he was devising a plan.

Shortly after graduation they wed. A quiet little ceremony with only a few people present. Junmyeon's friends, who he insisted be there. A few of Eunha's friends and family. Junmyeon reserved two seats for his parents, but by the end of the night they both still sat cold and unused. Nothing he did was ever good enough for the two of them. Not even getting married.

Not even a year into marriage and their happy little serenity was in tatters. Junmyeon found himself hating the sight of the woman he once adored beyond all measure. And Eunha didn't seem to return the love either. Cuddles on the couch and sweet nothing murmured between them were exchanged for thrown objects and harsh yelling. Some day someone would get hurt. Though luckily it was only ever the house that got damaged. Junmyeon may have been drunk, but he knew better.

Finally they both had enough. Or rather Junmyeon was tired of being yelled at and tossed around. So he left. He left the only other thing in his life that had any semblance of good to never look behind him again. In some ways it was freeing. In others it was like he was finally falling, falling, with no bottom in sight.