ME! ➵ t. holland || ✔️

021. THANK YOU

ｒｅａｌ ｌｉｆｅ:

*trigger warning*

Elijah fiddled with the small bracelet that was placed on his wrist, which had kind of become a habit over the last two years. He could remember the day vividly when he was presented with the small, but meaningful gift. Mallory and Levi had given it to him as a present for his eighteenth birthday.

The sombre brunette looked at the small, wooden charms that were placed on the leather wristlet, with the letters E, L and M engraved into them. Just the sight of it made the smallest hint of a smile on his face appear.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Tom muttered as he looked at the green eyed American next to him, trying to catch his line of sight.

Said American shook his head in reply, "No, I know. But I think I have to."

The brunette fumbled with his bracelet for another moment before taking a deep breath, "I-, uh.. I was at his party once."

"I think I was still seventeen and I had somehow gotten into this venue, which was eighteen plus." Elijah continued. His breath shook with every syllable that left his mouth, despite his efforts to control his speech, "And I was there with this one friend. But we had a fight and he left, so I was alone."

Tom shifted quietly in his position, to turn to Elijah a little more, now sitting only inches apart, "What happened next?"

"I sat at some kind of bar, because I was kind of bored, but I didn't want to go home. I was still pretty drunk, so I didn't want my dad and stepmom to find out, you know?" The brunette continued, almost sounding like he wanted to justify his actions and asking for reassurance at the same time.

Tom nodded slowly at his asking tone, since he understood what he was trying to do.

"I didn't know what I drank, but I started to feel really dizzy and hot. So I went out of the back to get some air.." Elijah explained slowly, staring in front of him blankly, "It was some sort of alleyway, and I know I shouldn't have gone in there, but how the hell was I supposed to know?"

He spoke the last sentence in the same questioning manner, accompanied by a shaking voice. He now looked at the brunette next to him, who had a sympathetic look on his face.

It got quiet for a minute as Elijah tried to find his voice again. As Tom saw the guy in front of him struggle, he reached out and placed his hand on his.

Elijah's eyes shot up immediately in a moment of panic, but relaxed slightly as he realized that it was just Tom.

He gave the brit a small, apologetic smile, before slowly retrieving his hand and folding it around his chest. It wasn't that he didn't want him to hold his hand, he just didn't want his hand to be held.

Said brit was visibly a little stunned by the rejection, but wasn't offended. Something inside of him knew that it wasn't because of him.

Elijah sighed again, sniffling "I was just-, I was walking around a bit to catch my breath, but it didn't help at all. Like, it only got worse, so I sat down against a wall."

"I just closed my eyes for a few minutes- just a few!" He continued, but this time a much harder tone, an angry one, a voice of disbelieve and regret.

"And then-, then he was there."

Elijah still wasn't making eye contact with Tom and just stared in front of him, tensing up with every word he spoke.

Tom, who slowly started to understand what was going on, and started to feel sick to the stomach, spoke up, "You don't have to continue.."

The brunette next to him furiously shook his head, making his damp curls sway from side to side and the tears that brimmed in his eyes, fall down even quicker, "I do-, I can't-."

He cut himself off as he couldn't finish his sentence. He swallowed sharply and sighed, "As he approached me, I stood up. He was this really big guy and reeked of alcohol, and I didn't want to just sit on the ground as he walked towards me, because that would be weird.."

Tom listened intently to what the brunette had to say, feeling sad and furious at the same time. But at the same time he felt absolutely hopeless, as he couldn't do anything to help the guy he has met over a half year ago, and took a liking to, out. And since he apparently didn't want to be touched, he just had to sit there and listen. This frustrated the Brit the most as he so desperately wanted to comfort him.

"I tried to ask if he needed something, but he just pushed me against the wall and,- he just started kissing me," By now, Elijah was full on crying, he didn't even care that his voice broke and cracked with every word he spoke, "I tried to push him off-, I told him to stop.. I told him so many times, Tom!"

Sobs escaped the brunette's mouth as he relived the, now vivid memories, and covered his mouth with one of his hands, letting his tears run free.

At the same time, tears started to brim in Tom's eyes as well. He may have only seen Elijah in real life twice, the two had developed an incredibly close bond online and it felt like he had known him for years.

After a moment, Tom managed to find his voice again, "Did he-?"

The crying brunette nodded slowly as he looked down at his hands, watching the small droplets of water fall on them and make their way down his wrist.

As he finally confirmed his biggest and darkest secret out loud, something in his brain clicked and it felt like a huge amount of weight fell of his shoulder, but burying him underneath it at the same time.

The brunette finally broke down. After three years of keeping it to himself and telling himself that he probably deserved it, over and over again until he started to believe it, he let it out.

Tom couldn't sit still at that moment, he couldn't not do something. He reached over and firmly wrapped his arms around his sobbing friend, who to both their surprises, didn't jump at the action.

He welcomed the warm and protective arms as if it was the last time he would feel. It was the first time in a few years though. Sure, he had given and received a couple of polite hugs here and there, but nothing as personal and comforting as right then.

After a good few minute of silence, Elijah had managed to calm down and Tom finally spoke up, "God, I'm so sorry, Mys."

It took a moment before the two realised what the British brunette said. Elijah managed to let a chuckle escape his mouth and looked up slowly, "Did you just?"

"I think I did.." Tom said in disbelieve as a dumb smile appeared on his face as well.

Elijah leaned back from the embrace and looked his friend in his eyes, seeing they were a little red as well, "How did you know I was here anyways."

The Brit crossed his arms around his chest and returned his glance, "Superpowers."

"Funny."

"I'm one of the people you bumped into. You looked panicked so I decided to follow you." He explained, as if it were the most obvious thing to do.

A hum was heard in response as Elijah stared back to the wall in front of him again, in thought.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Tom eventually asked as he looked at the young adult in front of him.

Said young adult shook his head in response, "I think I just want to sit here for a minute."

"Alright." The Brit replied, repositioning himself on the ground, "well, I'll be here."

"..Thanks for being here, Tom."

"No problem, Elijah."

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