MY WAY HOME ◆ Steve McGarrett ◆ Hawaii Five-0

SEVEN

"You don't have anything against food in bed, do you?" I asked.
"Not at all," his arm under my head.
"I'll bring it," I almost got up from bed.
"Wait," Steve pulled me back to bed, "not yet," he smiled at me before leaning in to softly kiss me. On my lips, on my neck, on my shoulder. He took my nipple into his mouth and sucked on it.
"We have whole week for this," I giggled as he sent shivers through my body, "I'm hungry."
"Let's go eat out."

We drove to the centre of Waikiki.
It was another hot day in Hawaii.
I wore simple black dress, straw hat and espadrilles sandals.
"After you," Steve's hand brushed my back as we sat to our table at one of the restaurants on Kalakaua Av.

Steve kept first 2 buttons on his shirt undone and now I was looking on the top of his chest hair, "Nice shirt," I mentioned his light blue button up.
He smiled at me, "Thank you."
But he sensed it wasn't just about the shirt.

"I have to go pack bungalow later and move my things to your place. Can you drive me?" I made plans for the day while put more butter on my toast.
"We can go now," he suggested.
"Yeah that would actually be the best," I called the waiter for our bill.
When it arrived Steve reached for it but I was faster, "My treat," and winked at Steve while still chewing on my bread.

Steve was eating fruit salad in the living room while I was walking around the whole place putting things to my opened suitcase 1 by 1.

"Hey buddy," he lifted his eyebrow and continued to chew on another raspberry.
"It's Danny," he whispered to me.
I walked to the bedroom to pack my lap top and chargers.

"How is he?" I asked while I put another bag next to the suitcase.
"He's interrogating me about you. About us," he laughed.
"Have you told him I'm staying longer?"
"I had to, he sent me 100 texts last night. He wouldn't let me sleep."
I laughed at their constant bickering.
"And what does he think?" I really wanted to know.
"He is happy for us," Steve smiled and walked over to me, "are YOU happy you're staying?" he looked down at me lifting his eyebrow.
"Very much," I pulled myself up to his lips and we both kissed. Gently, slowly. Deeply.

◆

I was in supermarket picking up supplies for upcoming days. I've been staying with Steve for 2 days now.

My phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, "Hello, this is Sami."
"Sami, it's Danny, Steve's partner."
"Yes Danny, I know who you are, how are you?" I was happy to hear him but then hint of worry run through my back, "is everything OK?"
Danny hesitated.
""Danny!"
"There was a robbery today in one of the banks in the centre of Waikiki. Steve was driving that way after he went to see the governor so he was first on scene. After they robbed the place they used pre-digeg tunnel as their way out and Steve went after them. Alone. Shots were exchanged, and..."
"Danny, did anything happen to Steve?" My breathing slowed down.
"No, he made it out in one piece."
I exhaled, "So what's up," he sure wasn't calling me to tell me that.
Danny continued, "It was dark out there, it was very complicated situation and Steve accidentally shot a cop."
I opened my mouth and covered it with a hand, "OMG!"
"He carried him out of the tunnel and we brought him to the hospital as quickly as we could," deep down I knew what he was about to say, "but unfortunately he died while in surgery," Danny's voice went quiet.

"Where is Steve?"
"He drove home. And that's why I'm calling you. Can you go there and look after him?"
"Sure. But Danny, what do I say to him, what do I do?"
"Just be there for him. There's nothing any one of us can do right now. He will have to process it himself."
"I'll be there in 20 minutes."
"Thanks Sami. Let me please know how my man is doing OK?"
"You got it! Thanks for letting me know."

(I recommend to read next part while listening to "The Bravery - The Ocean.)

I parked my car next to Steve's and walked inside. The house was quiet.
I walked upstairs. I noticed that the bedroom door was slightly opened. I saw Steve was sitting on the bed.

I walked to him and put my right arm on his left shoulder. I stood there for a while before I sat next to him.
"Danny called me. He told what happened."
Steve didn't say anything. He was just staring to the floor.

I started rubbing his back trying to help him relax.
"I screwed up. It was my fault."
"It was an accident," I reassured him.
"I didn't have a visual. You don't shoot without visual."
"It was very difficult circumstances. You did the best you could. Stop beating yourself up."
"I killed a cop."
He turned his head and looked at me, "What am I gonna tell his family."

He was different. Not at all the confident leader I knew. He seemed confused. He was doubting himself, his abilities. He was broken. My heart ached to see him like that.

"Come here," I pulled him into a hug. I felt his head rested on my shoulder. My hand found back of his head and I put fingers into his short hair.
What happened was terrible. What assured me was knowing that Steve was a good cop, even more importantly a good man. He was just having really shitty day.

I woke up. It was the middle of the night. Steve's side was empty, he was not there.
I walked downstairs. Nothing. I looked outside, his Audi was there. I walked to the back yard. He was sitting on a sand. I sat down next to him, "There you are," I smiled at him.

"What have I done Sami," he didn't take his sight from the ocean.
I sighed, "Accidents happen, even to the best of us," I was hoping he'll stop beating himself up.
"How am I supposed to live with it?" He looked at me.
"One day at a time. One hour at a time, I guess," I put reassuring arm around his back. I needed him to know I was there for him. His muscles were tight.
He leaned towards me and put his head on my shoulder, "Thanks for being here. Means a lot."
"Of course."