To Love Somebody

14. natsukashii

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natsukashii - suddenly, euphorically nostalgic, triggered by experiencing something for the first time in years 

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Natalie tightened her grip on the fork she was holding, trying to ignore Zander and the light feathery brush of his hand against her bare legs as he leaned down to pick up the spoon he had dropped.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye before looking back at her clients. Gritting her teeth, she grabbed his hand, holding it in place. She was almost irritated with how careless he seemed.

At first, he'd made it clear how he wanted nothing to do with her. And then, a few days ago, he'd touched her as though he couldn't keep his hands off of her. She has no idea what he wanted, what he wanted from her.

"I think we have a good shot at winning this case." Zander's confident voice radiated from next to her. She sat dazed as he stood up and shook their hands, bidding them good-bye.

Not wanting to be alone with him, she quickly rushed to gather her things, just as Zander sat back down. His dark gaze set on her, once again.

"We need to talk."

Natalie huffed before turning to face him. They'd talked, already, so many times. Truthfully, she didn't want to hear how he'd made another mistake. She didn't want him to admit that what had happened in her office was nothing more than another mistake.

"What Zander." Her voice sounded weak, tired and weak.

Zander shrugged, a bit hesitant to continue. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Or why he was doing what he was.

"This." He waved between the two of them. "This means nothing to me."

His voice held a hint of finality to it. Yet, as it wavered, Natalie couldn't help but note how strained he sounded. Maybe it was because of the stress from the case or from the guilt of cheating on his wife. Neither of which she cared about.

"I love Misha and I'm not going to leave her. Nor does she need to know about anything that happened between us."

Zander's words slowly drifted off as he looked at Natalie. A breath of fresh air, was this what he wanted? He lowered his eyes, letting his gaze fall on her lips.

The corners of his lips quirked upwards, smiling and shaking his head as he finally admitted what he did want.

"This is wrong, Natalie. So fucking wrong. I'm married and I love my wife." He reached out, brushing away her short bangs from her face. Tilting her chin upwards as he leaned in. "Misha means everything to me."

"But...but for some reason, I can't help myself when I'm around you." His lips, so close to her as his hot breath fanned her.

"We can end all of this right here Nat. Tell me stop and I will." He urged. "Tell me to stop. I will. Just tell me to stop."

Natalie froze, enchanted by his ocean-colored eyes and captivating smile. Before she knew it, his lips were on hers as he kissed her with a feverish need.

And they both knew, very well, there was no going back now.

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Misha placed her phone on the table after sending another text to Zander. He hasn't replied to any of her previous messages from earlier in the night. Not a single reply back.

"Thanks for showing me around." Nathan spoke, giving her a warm smile.

Misha shrugged before reaching for the strawberry ice cream. "I guess it's nice. I mean you get so used to just living here, it's hard to appreciate how this town looks when you're first visiting."

The busy street, the honking horns and the smiles all around her. Yet, her attention, somewhere else, with someone else. 

She glanced down at her phone as the screen brightened with a notification. Zander was going to be home late, again. She bit her lip, her mood dampening. She knew how important the case was for him. But lately, he was always busy with work – late nights, early mornings, weekend meetings.

"What's wrong?" Nathan enquired. He spoke softly, glancing at Misha as she looked down at her phone.

"Nothing." Misha pushed the cup of ice cream away. All of a sudden, it tasted bland. Pale and tasteless. The ring of her phone pulled her out of her daze. "I should get going."

She quickly waved good-bye to Nathan. Pressing the answer button, she breathed out sigh of relief.

"Zander." Her smile widening as she pressed the phone against her ear. "I miss you."

Maybe it was the evening she'd spent showing Nathan around but for some reason, she felt nostalgic all of a sudden. As she roamed the streets where Zander and her had first met, kissed and dated, she couldn't help but miss him all of a sudden.

Perhaps it was just her mood swings recently. But she really missed Zander. Now that she had started working and Zander, Zander was always busy with his recent case, Misha couldn't help but miss how simple and easy things had been when they'd been in college.

"Did you already eat?" Misha frowned slightly at his muffled voice. She could hear the loud chatter of the restaurant where Zander was meeting his clients through the phone.

"Babe, are you crying?" Misha held onto the phone, sniffling. She didn't say a word as she heard Zander mumble something to his co-workers about being right back.

"Misha?" His voice, so gentle and caring as he stepped out of the restaurant to call her, the noise fading in the background. "What's wrong baby?"

"I don't know. I really miss you." She sat down on a bench, pressing the phone against her ear. She let out a strained laugh. "And I just felt like crying all of a sudden."

"How's the case?" She asked, wiping away her tears, a sense of longing shadowing her.

"It's fine Misha. I'll be home soon. Okay?" Zander reaffirmed although he sounded unsure. "The meeting, it ugh just went on longer than I expected."

"Listen Misha, I gotta go. I'll pick up some ice cream on my way home okay?" 

Misha shrugged, smiling softly as she glanced at the dark sky around her, sparkling with yellow stars. Zander was everything and the only thing she wanted. And loved. "I love you Zander."

Her smiling slowly faded as he cut the call, no response in return. 

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June 15, 2019 1:42 PM

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Next chap : 250 votes

I'm back :) I'm so sorry about not updating for months but I've been crazy busy lately. Things have finally settled down a bit now so I'll have more time to get back into things. Low-key didn't know where to pick up with this story but I'm just kinda going with it lol. I'm thinking maybe three/four more chapters for Part 1. Thanks for sticking around despite the lack of updates. I really appreciate it!