To Love Somebody

23. flux

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flux - the natural state. our moods change. our lives change. our feelings for each other change. our bearings change. the song changes. the air changes. the temperature changes. accept this. we must accept this - everything changes.

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"Zander's coming to the wedding?" Misha inquired, shrugging as though it didn't bother her. Even though it did. After all, she knew she couldn't avoid him forever.

"You guys are talking right?" Ekta asked cautiously. "Mom thinks I should invite him."

"Of course she does." Misha grunted as she wrapped her hands around the warm cup of mocha.

"Is Asha with him for the afternoon?" Ekta pushed as she easily noticed how irritated Misha seemed at the mention of Zander.

"My God. Can't you or mom ever talk about anything else? It's always Zander this or Zander that." Misha huffed as she looked away. She blinked her eyes, rapidly. Still though, her eyes swelled with unshed tears.

"My life's a mess." She whimpered. Her sister was the only person Misha had confessed everything to. At times, she hated talking about the divorce, about Zander and about the cheating.

Misha felt as though it made her weak. The divorce – she was left alone to take care of a months-old child, alone. Zander – after promising her forever, he'd left as though she never meant anything. The cheating – her husband had picked another woman over her.

That's why she didn't want to talk or think about anything anymore. Because she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to confront the truth.

"It's been months Misha. You can't keep going like this." Ekta spoke carelessly. After all, she easily understood how Misha needed someone to tell her things as they were. She needed to hear the truth, no matter how cold or hard it may be.

"What do you know?" Misha tried but failed to hide the bitterness in her voice. "And if Armaan cheated on you?"

"I'd still love him." Ekta paused as she confessed. "But I would never trust him again."

"Feelings aren't yes or no. You already know that Misha." Ekta continued. "Can you really stand here and say that Zander means nothing to you?"

"Because we both know he does. And he always will." She watched as Misha's lips quivered. Ekta kept her gaze on her sister as she continued.

"But love isn't enough. A marriage is built on so much more than love."

"You're not even married yet. How'd you get so wise?" Misha shook her head at her sister, gently smiling as though she realized her little sister had really grown up.

Ekta smiled before continuing.

"Maybe you'll always love Zander. A part of you always might. Maybe you'll always care for him. Maybe you'll always regret the way things turned out between the two of two."

"But Misha? Can you really even consider getting back with him?" Ekta took a small sip of her peppermint latte. "If you get back with him, will you be able to trust him? If he were to go on a business trip alone, would you rest easy at home? Or if you went to one of his work dinners? Would you be able to sit there and not worry who every woman in that room was?"

"More than anything, can you really look past the cheating? Will you be able to love Zander the same way? Despite knowing what he did, will you be able to look at him like you used to?"