hot chocolate

20

'i think it would be fair enough if sun stayed with me, she knows me the longest and my parents know her' taehyung said, looking at me. 'meh, i don't think so. your place is also suspicious. so, that's a no' seokjin said.

'what about mine?' jungkook spoke up. 'what about your foster parents? would they aprove of her?' hoseok asked him. he shrugged. 'i'll come up with something.' he said. 'i'm not stupid like him' he pointed at taehyung. 'HEY!' taehyung yelled, hitting jungkook in the arm.

'to be honest, you two are idiots and i think songul would trust more a guy she has dated than you two' yoongi said, putting an arm around my shoulders. i looked up to him, raising an eyebrow. taehyung and jungkook scoffed at him. 'but do i get any say in this? after all i'm the one that's hiding. not you guys' i said. 'i mean, she didn't lie' seokjin added on.

'well then, choose songul noona.' i looked at jungkook, who called me noona after so long. 'taehyungie, yoongi hyung or me' i rolled my eyes. 'i can't believe you're making her choose' namjoon said. 'i can't believe i'm going to say this, but i agree with you' i added.

'i think it's better if you went with jungkookie' jimin said. 'he never saw him after all, he doesn't even know him' yoongi scoffed. 'i can protect her, he can't' i rolled my eyes. 'this is so unecessearry and uncalled for yoongi.' i said to him. 'after all, just like jimin said - he doesn't know who jungkook is. i'm better off there' yoongi huffed, taking his arms from me and standing up walkimg away to the piano. namjoon in an instant walked up to him while seokjin leaned in. 'he will come around' he whispered, patting my shoulder lightly.

'so, songul.. shall we go?' jungkook asked me. i looked at the boys, well yoongi to be more precise. he just looked back at me for a second and then turned around to namjoon. i sighed. 'i guess we shall' i stood up from my place and picked up my bag that was next to the couch. 'hey, can i talk to you for a second?' seokjin asked me. i nodded while he led us out. before we fully exited he told the boys to not go outside, that we will be back in a few minutes.

'so, talk?' i said to him, turning it more into a question. 'don't do anything with jungkook' he said seriously. 'what do you mean?' 'you know well what i mean. don't go around fucking him.' i instantly bursted into a laugh. 'what?' seokjin stared at me, offended that i laughed in his face. 'what the hell man? do you really think of me that lowly? yeah, i may be a bitch but me and yoongi still like each other a lot so i wouldn't ever do that to him. damn seokjin, i thought you were smarter than that' i said to him.

'you girls are always unpredictable.' 'yeah, so are you boys. doesn't make us any different than you' he just glared at me. 'whatever, i'm just telling you. i care for yoongi-' 'so do i?' 'well, your recent decisions haven't been showing that' he turned around, walking into yoongi's apartment, calling the boys.

'go fuck yourself' i whispered, barely even noticeable for him, but i hoped it was.

the boys went outside, saying goodbyes to me and jungkook. i walked up to yoongi, wanting to take his hand but he just pushed my hand away. it stang in my heart, but i chose to ignore it.

i said my goodbyes to other boys and went with jungkook.

-

the day was cloudy, the sun was peeking through the thick clouds. the soft breeze blew through my hair and kissed my cheeks. i looked at jungkook whose hair was jumping up and down while he was walking.

'i saw that' he said, taking me off guard with his words. 'w-what?'

'the way hyung pushed your hands away.' he said, looking back at me. 'yeah... it stang a little. but it's okay i guess.' ouch, i just lied to myself. 'by your reaction i saw that you were taken off guard by his move. i don't blame you, it was a pretty dick move.' 'it's understandable. i don't think he deserves someone like me. i'm just causing trouble for him and even the boys think so lowly of me. seokjin told me indirectly that i shouldn't be whoreing around when i didn't do anything?'

jungkook stayed silent. did he think of me the same way?

'kook?' i stopped walking. 'hm?' he stopped too, turning around to face me. 'do you think i'm hurting yoongi on purpose? do you think the saddness that he has is because of me?' he stared at me with confusion. 'what?' he walked up to me. 'why would i even think that? i know you like him a lot. you're not a whore' his lips cracked into a smile while winking at my blushing self.

'why are you blushing?' he asked me, an even bigger smile creeping onto his lips. i just shook my head. 'and no matter what happens, you have me. okay?' his hands were now wrapped around me as he hugged me.

-

jungkook and i were sat in his apartment. 'what about your foster parents?' i asked him. i didn't want him to have trouble because of me. 'don't worry about them, they won't even bother coming to my room.' he answered. 'like they ever do...' he added quietly. i knew how that felt, being neglected by your own family. it sucked.

'i know' i said. 'hm?' 'i know... how that feels.' he just nodded.

'i was going through same stuff like you' he told me. 'except my parents died so i was left to the country to take care of me. i was only eight.' i frowned. it made me sad to think about young jungkook being left without his parents all alone in a place where he didn't know anyone yet almost everyone was going through something almost similar. 'i was left in an orphanage. it wasn't one of the best moments in my life, but i had to live there. i remember when my foster parents came to adopt me i thought oh maybe i am seeing light after so many years of darkness. i was wrong. they hated me. i never knew why they adopted me but...but' my head was hung low but i looked up to him the instant he started to stutter. tears were rolling down his cheeks and he was just staring at nothing. 'oh jungkook...' i came closer to him and pulled him into a hug. 'they hated me songul, they still hate me. i don't know what i ever did to them but they just did' he sobbed loudly. 'i was always the loner. the one who no one ever liked.' he clutched onto my tshirt. 'but then i met yoongi hyung and he really showed me what it's like having family.' i smiled at the thought of small jungkook looking up to yoongi.

'but not even that lasted long' he said with a sob. 'we would hang out in the music room where they had a piano. a teacher came and started pulling me by my ear calling me names but hyung stood up for me and even hit him. he got expelled for ten days. but since then i haven't seen him until the time we met.' i just nodded. he was still holding me tightly. 'the rest of the boys were always hanging put with us. it was always yoongi hyung and me, namjoon hyung and taehyungie, jimine and hobi hyung. seokjin hyung was always the one that looked out for us. since he is the oldest. i really admired him for that.'

i noticed that jungkook really looked up to the boys a lot. my heart broke at his crying and at the way he thought he had lost all the light in his life. 'but jungkookie, what happened that night when those guys beat you up?'

he moved away a little bit from me and just exhaled loudly. 'life sucks, you know? the boys started fighting and everything was shitty. you saw that with your own eyes and i guess i just felt disappointed and mad? the foster parents didn't help with their behaviour at all. i thought that if those guys killed me everything would be easier. maybe it would have been. if you weren't there. to save me.'

'jungkook... i'm glad i was there. i wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you. you're my best friend and the only one who really understands me.' he looked up to meet my eyes. 'really?' 'really.' he smiled brightly and his eyes sparkled. i didn't know if it was from the tears or from the happiness that was glimmering inside of him.