hot chocolate

26

later that day i was at the orphanage. i didn't go back to jungkook's house mostly because i wasn't with him at the moment. i was sat on a small bench, my elbows leaning onto the table and my hands pressed onto my cheeks. the chilly air was hitting my face softly, drying all the tears that had previously cried out.

you made me realize that you weren't someone i needed and someone i was supposed to look for. you aren't right for me. yet each part of my heart was yearning for your touch, your love. for you to walk up to me and tell me that you l-

'songul, hi' a voice broke me out of my thoughts. maybe at the right time. i looked up to see miss eunha staring at me with furrowed eyebrows. 'oh my god, songul, have you been crying?'

i mean, isn't it obvious? i thought.

i just plainly nodded, worrying if i spoke that i will break into pieces. that i will become vulnerable.

i heard her sigh.

'what has been bothering you sun?' she asked me. my heart stopped and my mind drifted to you. sadly enough, whenever someone asks me that question i think of you.

'so mu-ch' my voice cracked. tears furiously escaped my eyes blurring my vision. sobs escaped my mouth while my view wasn't set on anything specific. i was a crying mess you could say.

i could feel a pair of arms wrap around me and i looked at miss eunha who just nodded, signaling me to speak whenever i feel ready.

'my mother left me in an orphanage not even bothering to call. my step dad abuses me and my only love doesn't love me back anymore. there is nothing that i can do to keep everything together. everything is falling apart' with each word there was a sob that escaped my mouth. it was then when i realized how much my life went downhill in the past few months.

'it's okay sun. cry it out. it's okay' miss eunha was petting my hair, making me feel slightly less tense.

'yah! lee songul!' my head shot up and i was met with ilsung who had a mad look on his face. 'you think you can escape me?' he yelled again. everything froze in me. my whole body felt paralyzed. miss eunha stood up and shielded me with her body.

'what do you want mr. ilsung?' her voice was deep and serious.

'look, miss eunha, i'm not here to cause any trouble. i am here to talk with my step daughter'

i looked at his face, a smile crept onto it. a fucking pervert.

'no! i'm not letting you come close to her!' she started to yell, making ilsung startled.

uncle hyun exited his little cabin in front of the gates and started shouting at the pervert. 'yah! you come here!' he walked up to ilsung and started pulling him away from the orphanage and onto the streets. 'don't you ever dare come back!'

my body started to shake even more when i looked into his eyes and he spoke :

'you will go to school one day, alone, without anyone to protect you' sending a wink my way, that left shivers down my body, while leaving the area.

miss eunha walked up to me, wrapping her arms around my small shaking frame. she was rubbing my back and whispering soothing words as i cried into her shoulder. 'it's okay princess, cry it out...'

-

each day i went to school was like hell for me. i was scared for what could happen to me. with you promising me that you would be here made me feel at ease before, but now?

i'm probably a big coward now.

i sat in the lunch cafeteria, my earbuds in my ears while reading some kind of book. i wasn't really paying attention to it at all. it was mostly the incident that happened a few days ago that ran through my mind.