hot chocolate

9

the first place i thought while running away, far from home, was your place. i didn't know what i was thinking in that moment or if you would accept me; but after a while of me complementing should i go somewhere else, i found myself in front of your apartment door.

you probably wouldn't want me here, but what could i do? the only place where i felt, at least somewhat, safe was now a mess that i called home.

i knocked once on the door, but, to my luck, there was no answer. i knocked again, again and again. but you didn't open. i didn't know if you were in there at all, knowing that it's me outside, and thatyou didn't want to open the door or you just were not in there at all.

i leaned against the cold wall, the tears that i kept hidden were now flowing like a river. the realisation of what could have happened back then just hit me. the way i shouldn't have come home at all. the moment i saw him i should have ran far away.

my sobs were the only thing that echoed in the lonely and cold alley.

i wanted to scream, but everything just felt... empty. i closed my eyes shut, rubbing every part of my body that he touched, in hopes it will make me forget that anything happene. that i will be cleaner. after all i felt dirty. so dirty.

i fell to the floor, my face red and my lungs longing for air. i screamed. i wanted everything to pass.

-

i woke up with an unfamiliar warmth that filled my body. my eyes shot open with panic when i saw that my body was wrapped in blankets. i sighed in relief when i saw that i was in your apartment. the thing is, i don't even remember falling asleep. i suddenly remembered last night, i just wished i didn't.

my head turned to the sound of the footsteps from the other part of the apartment. 'so, you've woken up?' i looked up waiting to see your face, but i was disappointed and really surprised when i saw jungkook's face.

'what are you doing here?' i asked him. 'how nice of you, i save your ass from the cold and that's how you act noona?' he snorts at me

'but i was surprised to see you as much as you are surprised to see me. so that's what i want to ask you too.'

'reasonable' my eyes were looking away from him.

'what are you doing in yoongi's apartment?' i asked him. he laughed slightly.

'you forgot i knew him?' i shrugged.

'after all, i don't think you really need to know' he said coldly. i just shrugged again.

'anyways, i made you some soup and hobi hyung will be bringing some lunch later' i stared at him. 'what makes you think i will stay?'

'reasonable' he said, talking in a higher pitched voice, mimicking me.

'you seem like you had a rough night and you were a bawling mess when i found you, so you will not be able to go home in this condition.'

i cringed when he said the word home. shivers ran down my spine. 'how do you know?'

'had enough of those nights myself' he mumbled as he sat on the couch, next to my legs.

i sighed. he closed his eyes and laid on his back. 'thank you, jungkook' i said sincerely. '

'no problem noona, i would have done it anytime.' he said while smiling. 'i'm
sorry i was kinda rude a second ago'

he was a nice kid.

i found myself staring at his features. i admired people who even, if they had something dark that kept them back, still were happy and cheerful.

'you know that beauty is not transient?' he said, even though his eyes were closed. i felt myself blushing.

'you know jungkook, i feel like my home isn't my home anymore. i just want to move out. i want to leave forever. but they keep holding me back and i can't move anywhere' i said lowly.

'yeah... i know how thay feels. sucks pretty much' he said sadly.

'last night was the worst one. i don't remember if i have ever felt dirtier. i just want to stand in the shower and just let the water wash my dirty body. maybe i'm still in shock over what happened, but i just can't get it in my head at all' i heard him sigh. i felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

'our lives are pretty shit huh?' he said through a bitter laugh.

'even that isn't enough to describe this hell i'm living' i said to him.

'yeah..'

the door of the apartment suddenly opened. we both looked to the door to see you standing there and staring at us. 'what the hell are the both of you doing here?'