i just realized how long it's been since i've actually interacted with someone beyond pleasant small talk and idle complaining and commentary and it's kinda tearing me apart since i haven't talked about my thoughts and feelings and emotions and it all built up and now it's all just coming out at once because i just have so much to say but no one ever really listens they're too caught up in their own lives and feelings and emotions and that's okay because i am too but i just need to talk because the suicidal thoughts are taking my humanity away
