Beautiful Delusions

ch8:Volcanic noodles

"Maya I don't think this is what normal twelve-year-old boys do at a sleep over." I said waving to the mess of blankets around us. After we deserted the restaurant we head to my apartment to quote Maya "the best sleep over of my life to date"

"What would you know about a normal twelve-year-old boy's sleep over?" She asked raising a brow at me.

"I know that no tvwelve-year-old boy gets his nails painted." I said waving my freshly paint nails

"Hey at least its black for manly man truck driver Ethan." She pulled a face trying to mimic her idea of traditional manliness. "Plus it adds to your whole 'E-boy' look you got going on." She gestured to my all black pajamas.

"E-boy?! How dare you?"

"Yes E-boy, look at your apartment. It literally screams E-boy. Now let me finish!" She yelled grabbing my han and continued applying the polish to my nails.

I groaned hating the amount of time it took but the content smile on her face gave away that she was enjoying my misery. Maya decided to drive completely forgetting to stop on the way to collect her things. This left her with only one option, my clothes. I didn't mind sharing them with her, if anything it would keep me thinking straight instead of babbling on like a mindless idiot. Unfortunately I wasn't counting on her looking so damn cute and fluffy in them. I need something to distract the both of us...

"Hey Maya?"She looked up urging me to continue. "Are you hungry?" I asked allowing a smirk to creep onto my face.

"Yeah, why?" She asked raising a brow at me.

"Oh I'm going to like this." I said doing my best super villain laugh.
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"There is no way I'm eating that!" She exclaimed pushing away the bowl.

"Why not? " I asked trying to stuff my laugh down my throat.

"What you mean why not? It is literally so spicy that the sauce is bubbling! I value my sence of taste way too much to eat this." She said pointing at the bowl of noodles. Suki took it apone herself to fill my barren cupboard with quote on quote 'volcanic noodles' saying I need to spice up my diet.

"Okay, whats your favorite book?"

"Patterns of the Dark by Brioné Heart, why?" She asked unsure what I had up my sleeve. I stood up from our blanket fort and walked towards my ridiculously large bookshelfs taking out a single grey book.

"Challenge. You can have this signed copy of said book , if you eat that entire bowl." I said waving the book in front of her.

Her eyes switched back and forth between the book and bowl of noodles.

"Challenge excepted." She said before vacuuming up the bowl of boiling noodles. Surprisingly she ate the nooodles without a reaction, not even one plea for water. She finished the last bit of the lava sauce and wiped her mouth wiyh the back of her hand.

With a sly grin she raised her hand. "My book sleepy kitty."

"How?! Just how are you able to devour those devil noodles in-" I pulled out my phone to check the time. "-two minutes?!" I yelled only to be replied with a laugh.

"I got use to eating extremely spicy food. A friend of mine introduced me to what he called the 'spice life'." She laughed at the memory that came with the words, but it wasn't her normal melodious laugh. It was more of a bitter sweet chuckle. Her smile dropped but her eyes still sparkled despite the memory causing her a degree of pain.

I wanted to ask her more  about it but he seemed like he was a part of her past. He stirred up some sort of sadness in the ever cheerful Maya that she wanted to forget. I wish forgetting could be as easy as the picture painted by the media. If it was that simple I could have forgotten about my past; about the pain that plagued my childhood. To think all the pain I endured could have easily avoided if my father just took me, if he just tried a little harder to get me away from my mother. He didn't come for me, he left me there with her and I can't forget that.

"Earth to sleepy kitty. Hello? Ethan!" She yelled snapping fingers infront of my eyes. I met her gas silently. I wanted to excuse my weirdness but my lips stayed sealed. So I just looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Where did you even get a signed copy?" She ased trying to steer the conversation into a lightet mood.

"My father. He would compensate for not being there with books which later ended up with me swimming in signed copies of books he thought I would like."

"At least you ended up with the best collection I have seen." She pointed out always seeing the good in everything.  I simply nodded as a response before taking in the bowls.

"Do you still talk to him?" She asked uncertain on whether to touch on the topic.

"Not really its hard, im always busy and his always preoccupied with his new life so..." I replied fetching two cups. "Coffee?"

"Yeah sure." She replied walking into the kitchen. "So is that the only reason why?" She asked rapping the arms around my torso giving me a back hug. My body stiffened caught off gaured by the action. My heartbeat was increasing by the second. My body was not ready for Maya's touch. Shit! Wait she asked me something?!

I cleared my through before answering "No-" fuck my voice came out so weak?! "I mean no. I have more reasons and im sure he has his."

"Has he reached out to you in this time?" She asked popping her head through the pocket between my body and arm to look at me.

"He has but as I said I have my reasons."

"Reasons like ?" She asked.

I remain quite not wanting to answer.  Should I tell her the truth or make a petty excuse?  If I tell her would it scare her off? Would she still look at me the same or only with pity? What should I tell her?! That I resent him!? That I hate him for leaving me behind?! That if he didn't leave me I wouldn't be so fucked up as I am now?! That if he just cared more I wouldn't have been abused my that bitch?! That I miss him?! That I love him?! That I want him back in my life?

"Ethan? You can tell me. Im not going to leave. Never." She whispered as if I would break if she said it any louder. She turned me around to face her; tightening the hug she caged me in.

"I. I cant for- forget what he did Maya. No matter what I do I can't forget ho-how he left me behind. I forgave him bu-but I cant fo-forget." I cried gripping her small figure closer to me. My face burned as the the tears swelled in my eyes." Why did he leave me behind! I thought he loved me! I love him! Why doesn't he love me?!" I continued to cry into her warm embrace, soaking her shirt with my tears.

She didnt move or say anything,  she only rubbed my back till my sobbing subsided. "He loves you Ethan. I know he does, but you both cant move forward till you forget." She pulled away to look at my face. She cup my  swollen face and wiped away the tear trails in my red cheeks. "I know its hard to forget something so closely tied to you present, but if continue to live in the past you won't have a future. You need to live in the present for your future." Her eyes were foggy like she wanted to cry but didn't give into it.

As always her words were simple but carried so much weight.
Forget.
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Well that tool some time to write but i was busy with my exams. Go check out my other unfinished work The Patterns  of the Dark on my profile.

^_^ knives and glitter.