Beautiful Delusions

ch5: Kookies and Cream

Maya🐨:It was fun hanging out with you yesterday. Hope we do it again sometime. But next time I'm choosing the movie cause I swear whatching Toy story 3 is too much of an emotional rollercoaster for me 😭😂 And don't be too strong today Ethan☕💜

I feel the corners of mouth turn up into a smile as I read her text. I chuckle lowly to myself as I remember the events of yesterday. We walked from the park too my apartment and spent the remainder of the day just laying around on the couch and whatching Toy Story 3. Well she whatched the movie, I wasn't interested in the movie or it's sexual reference that went over most of its younger viewers heads. I was more interested in stairing Maya down like an asylum excapy.

"But you are just as mentally deranged as one of them."

I would find myself smiling at her reactions to the movie. When she smiled my lips would automatically curl up into a smile and when she would laugh I would chuckle along. She probably thought I was laughing at the movie but in all honesty I laughed at her quirkiness and her piggy snork when she found a certain part very amusing.

"Mister Cooler?" My secretary's voice came from the phone sitting on my desk.

"Yes Suki?" I answered to the phone.

"Your father asked if you could meet up earlier, if it wasn't an inconvenience for you. He said to mention cookies and cream to sweeten the deal." Suki said laughing softly at my father's childishness towards the end.

Kookies and cream... Well I can't say it doesn't sweeten the deal. It was a small restaurant somewhere in the middle of nowhere that served baked goods and all sorts of coffee. I loved their cakes but no matter how hard I try I could never find the address to it. Only my father knew the way and he would never tell me, he even went as far as to blindfold me every time we went. All I knew was how the building looked like, with it's magical - well as close to magical one could get to the real world- decor style. Little me would get so excited when we visited.

Bitter sweet memories like coffee and cookies.

"Is that a yes Mister Coolner?" Suki's voice roped me back into reality.

"Of course, just make sure to redirect any urgent calls to my private number. Oh and would my lovely assistant be ever so kind and order a bunch of sunflower and send them to 165 Sherman oaks street with a note?" I asked with my most cutest baby voice ever. "Pwease Suki?"

Her laughter filled the room before dieing down to a few deep breaths in a tempt to regain herself. Suki and I's banter was sometimes the highlight of my day working at a boring stock trading company from nine to five.

" Okay lover boy. Is there anything you want this not of yours to say?" She asked.

"Could you write, Its been awhile since I have done this but I read this form a book. So would you like to get dinner with me on Friday? From Ethan the wild duckman Coolner." Suki's laugh followed shortly with another failed attempted of trying to shush herself.
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"Two coffees and a slice goo cake, enjoy!" The waitress said leaving our table. We were sitting but the same window seat as we always would all those years back. I met my father in the parking area of the building, he was waiting for me with a blindfold in hand.

"So... How are things at the office going? " He asked breaking the silence that fell apon us when we first entered the car. He drummed his finger tips on the wooden surface. Was he that nervous? I mean so was I , but I never really  pictured my father as the nervous type. He was always so calm and collected during my childhood .
                                
"Its okay." I scratch the back of my neck . The tension around us was so suffocating. I hated small talk and needless pleasantries. It never made sence too me why one whould exchange them.

Maybe to break the ice, making the atmosphere more breathable?  Or was it simply more socially acceptable to do so? In this case small talk added to the awkward air around us. Silence soon followed,  you could only hear the soft thut of my father's fingertips as they made contact with the table.

"How's the therapy going? Made any progress? " He asked.

"How do you know about that?" I asked. Who could have told him? Definitely not Alissa, she despises our father.

"I was there... when you were hospitalised, Ethan. I tried go vist while you were institutionalised  but Alissa caught me one day when I was asking the phycologist about your progress.  Told me off. She has her mother's fiery spirt and her beauty.  She grew up to be everything I hoped for." He said looking off into the window. He tried to smile but his eyes gave  it away. Showing all of his pain. I felt bad for him but I felt worse for Alissa. She could never experience the fatherly love I once did. Even if he tried talking to her my mother's indoctrination made her hate him with all her heart. Yet another thing I can't forgive her for.

"Well thats enough of the past for now, today is about you and me." He said giving me his award winning Coolner smile. I got most of my genes from my dad but wasn't lucky enough to inherit that smile from him unlike Alissa. Instead I got my mother's dimpled smile undoubtedly one of thr things I hated about myself the most.

"I was thinking  we could go cafe hopping around town maybe go see  a movie? I'm sure the owner  of his own company could take a day off too spend with his old man." He said before digging  into his goo cake.

I nodded at him before bring my cup too my lips letting the dark liquid flow down my throat. I didn't say anything else I couldn't bring myself to give him anything more than a nod and monotone answers. I had so much  to say ,to ask him but I couldn't.

My mind had millions of thoughts rushing through it, millions of questions that needed answers but it seems as always my mind and mouth would not cooperate with each other! Leaving me silent, the silence that only added to the awkward air around my father and I.

Why hadn't he come back for me?

"Maybe because of the fact that he doesn't love you? Who would love someone like you Ethan?! "

Why come back now? Why even try after leaving me? Does he still care?

"Haha ,you think he cares? Do you honestly think he still loves you Ethan?! The only reason he came is cause he feels guilty for leaving you! He feels pity for you everyone pities you Ethan because you are a worthless waste of cells!"

Leave me alone! Why can't you just leave me alone!

"His going to leave you just like how Khloe left you! Your going to hurt him just like how you hurt her! His going to hurt you just like before."

"I said leave me alone!" I yelled standing up knocking my chair over.

"Ethan? What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked grabbing my hand softly. I look up tears blurring up my vision.

"I can't just sit here and pretend like nothing ever happened!  I can't just act like I don't have a million things on my mind! I... I can't just act like how we used to be!" I yelled finally being able to breath again.

"Ethan,  I'm sorry. I-" he said trying to find the right words.

"Your sorry? Your sorry?! Why did you leave me?! Why didn't you come get me?! Why did you abandon me, your only son with the woman who made my life a living hell!?" I yelled. I hated helling at people but I had to get this off my chest before I suffocated under its weight. I couldn't see clearly or think straight all I could do is feel. Feel the hoarseness of my throat, the pain throbbing in my chest and the warmness of my tears as the trailed down my cheeks.

My father had nothing to say.  You see the tears brimming in his eyes.

"Im sorry I can't do this. Not now..." I said before existing the cafe.
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This is the longest chapter ever to finish but as promised. Tell me what you think about it in the comments  and hit vote if you like.

Do you guys whatching kookies and creams videos? Which one is your favourite?

Bye^_^♡