Beautiful Delusions

ch4: Mister Duck

"I should have left you to die." I said repeating her worlds. They stung just as painfully as the first time she said them. I had heard them so many times from my mother I was unaffected by them but when they left her mouth. It felt like a million needles piercing my heart. Was it weakness that made me cry the entire night? Or was it the feeling of failing in her eyes? I couldn't forgive my mother for it and I couldn't put the pass behind me.

" Mister Coolner your father asked if you could meet up him for lunch tomorrow. Should I open up a time slot for him?" A feminine voice said through the phone breaking me away from my thoughts.

"Yes thank you Suki and reschedule all my appointments for the remainder of the day I have things to attend to." I said to my secretary. I didn't think he would want to meet up so soon. I took his place after he retired, I thought he would be living it up with his wife. I can't deny that I had resentment towards my father for leaving me behind ,just like how I could never forgive her - I could never let him in again. He was a bitter sweet memory.

I needed to ho out for a while to clear my head. Over thinking another one of my flaws that would leave me tossing and turning at night. If the voices didn't get me, my thoughts would.
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"You must love you life Mister Duck. No problems, no pain, no drama just the water a stail bread." I spoke to myself. I could feel the cold air nipping at my toes but I stayed rooted on the park bench. It was quite, with only a few people here and there. " I wish we could switch lives I get your wings and you get my troubles. I know, I know it's an unfair trade but than you would also get all the bread you could eat, fresh bread instead of this stail garbage you have been eating." I said wiggling my eyebrows at the duck. If anyone saw me they would think I lost my mind but it was a cold, grey Wednesday so everyone was at work or school, or covered in piles of blankets at home.

"I think you need a cup of coffee Ethan. It seems like the lack of caffeine in your system is causing you to loose your mind." A voice whispered into my ear, making the hairs on my neck stand on ends. I turn my head to see a Maya with pink stained cheeks standing behind me cover in layers upon layers of skyblue clothing. She had the cutest look on her face that I couldn't help letting a chuckle excape from my lips.

"Maya! You look blue today, is it the weather?" I said jokingly giving her a grin.

"Ha Ha Ha, so funny." She said sarcasm laced in her voice. "May I join you?" She asked pointing to the open spot next to me.

I got up and bowed in a comical fashion extending my arm to her. "It would be my honor miss Langston." I said to which she let out a soft laugh.

"So did Mister Duck take you up on your offer?" She asked taking a seat next to me.

"No it seems my baggage is to much and there's not enough fresh bread it the world that will persuade him otherwise." I said sighing dramatically towards the end.

"It's for the best, Mister Duck is too weak for this world of ours. He would last a day." She said followed by another soft laugh.

"I'm too weak for our world. Maybe I should run away to the wild and live with my fellow ducks." I said and she just laughed at my stupidity. Her laugh was beautiful, I wanted to hear that laugh all day. I felt my lips curl up at the thought of it.

"We are all weak for this world. Having weakness is what makes us human. We might fall but the important thing is that we get back up." She said looking out towards the lake.

"Easier said than done, don't you think? Being flawed with weakness, being weak will get you killed out in our world." I said following her gaze. "There are two types of people in this world the strong willed and fearless and the weak and fearful. Being weak both emotionally and physically can be a disability. You should be strong both mentally and physically." I finished off look at her big brown eyes.

" I think being strong is important at times but... It's okay to be weak. Showing weakness at times makes you stronger. Crying at times makes you stronger. Saying you need help at times makes you stronger. Don't be too strong Ethan ,we all need to be a little weak at times." She said. Her words came so easily to her but the weight they carried could leave you wondering for days. Her eyes gave more truth to her words, she had felt and went through it, she had felt the burden and pain of being too strong. Her words she spoke out of experience.

I didn't respond to her words all a did was rest my head on her shoulder. My cheeks were burning, I was not sure if it was the weather or if it was the urge to cry but when I felt the first tear slid down my cheek I was sure. I couldn't help but let the tears fall. I felt a pair of arms rap around me slowly comforting me. We stayed like this till my cries eventually died down, I felt her shivering underneath all her layers. If she was cold why sit outside in the middle of Autumn with me?

She was really something isn't she.

Instead of voicing my concerns I just stood up and pulled her under my arm. Her eyes went wide at my sudden movement.
"Let's get you inside before you turn into a cute, little statue for the park." I said grinning at her. She just shook her head and laughed.

"As long as you give me something hot to drink and a blanket I'll follow." She said raping her arms around my torso. It felt right what ever this was and for the first time I would over think this. I just wanted to relish this moment... this moment of weakness.
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I loved writing this but I'll probably read it and cringe at it later. Please vote and comment would love to know what you thought about it.

^_^