Caged (BATIM X Disney)

33- Regrets

Bendy sat in his cell, refusing to talk to anybody. He simply held his mouth shut, even after he was personally confident he had the short access to speak once again. 

Every thought that was cooked up inside his head was always poked at by Grandpa. 

"Sonny, you can't keep blaming yourself..."

Bendy wouldn't answer. After a moment Grandpa would sigh and leave him alone. But he would always come back, no matter how silent the Ink Demon would stay. 

At one moment in the day, Yo stood by the slate in the door and said something. 

"Bendy, you can't keep cutting deep. I know it hurts, I know it's frustrating, but you need to let it out. It's never good to pent up that anger."

Finally Bendy had snapped. 

"What the Hell do you know about what I'm f-feeling?!" The demon had growled so low and deeply it was actually effective. "Don't a-act like you know everything!" 

After this outburst, Yo turned back with a saddened look on his face and didn't engage again. 

Bendy once again sulked in silence. It was getting to the point that the angel was becoming increasingly worried for her brother... And it pained her when he wouldn't talk to her and just down-right ignored her. 

The demon was angry at himself and his stupid limits. He had the chance to tell Boris more, and he messed up. He had handed Charles his hope and had crushed his own heart. He loved Boris more than anything... He just wanted to give him a hug and protect him... But of course while being here he would be stuck, with no way out and no way to get away from the guilt. 

Just how had he made Boris feel? That was a question which pained even him to ask himself. He guilted himself more and more, until the chatter around him became a faint buzz as he wallowed by himself. 

Wiping away small tears, he heard the door to his cell open, and in came the angel. Charles stood behind her, giving the angel a slight nod. He then closed the door, walking off to the end of the hall where, as his job was a guard, he stood 'patrol'. 

Alice slowly sat down and leaned her head to his shoulder. "Bendy?"

The demon looked at her reluctantly, before squirming and brushing away the rest of his tears with a faint flush on his face, and tear stains trailing a light faded grey down with the rest of his dripping ink. 

Alice took his hands within hers and looked him in the hidden eyes. 

"None of it was your fault."

Bendy felt another rogue tear escape as she moved one of her hands and brushed it away, including some of his ink so she could properly look into his pained eyes. 

"You can't control your defects. You can't control other's feelings or viewpoints... But you can always try to make them see a different way. What you are doing right now isn't healthy- the way you snapped at Yo wasn't nice, and it just shows what bottling your emotions is doing to you."

Bendy's eyes blinked, trailing more tears. "I'm sorry," he whispered. 

Alice said, "Tell that to Yo... And Grandpa."

The demon felt his heart seem to throb as he thought about what she said. But she wasn't done.

"You pushed them away... And all they were trying to do was help you. I know, I know... You're angry. And you can be. I'm not your mother..." she brushed her hair out of her face as she continued. "But if you keep blaming yourself for things that were out of your control, you'll have more self-doubt. And that isn't good on the state of mind. I wanted you to know that we love you as a family, Bends. And when you yelled at them, it made them wonder if you felt the same."

The demon felt a sharp jab at his chest. "B-but... You are my family..."

Alice moved to look him directly in the dripping eyes. "Then you need to show that's true."

Bendy's face dropped. "..."

"Bends, I'm going to go with Charles back to my room." She did not call it a cell... Which was funny, considering that was the perfect word for what it was. 

The demon watched in pure dismay as she got up to leave, sliding open the door as Charles locked it once more. 

And like that, she was gone from the room. "Alice..." Biting his lip, he planned his reproach. He knew what he was doing to himself... It had been obvious he was avoiding everyone for the rest of the day, but it made his teeth clench. If something like this could trigger everyone's moods to change, to try and talk to him like he was a stubborn child... Then hell, he was pretty pathetic. 

But he had to keep reminding himself that if anyone else had gone through that small, out of place decision as he had, they would have been pretty shook about it as well. He knew none of anyone's stories... He had an idea of Grandpa once being a father... But... He didn't want to touch such a sensitive topic. 

Now that the demon thought about it... None of them knew much about the other. He just didn't want to be intrusive... Even though he had to admit that he himself was quite curious. He knew bits about Alice, but even Yo was mysterious... 

Bendy missed that wolf. His enthusiasm, his love, his curious expressions... God, he missed him SO MUCH! 

The ink demon rubbed his face, and slowly stood and peeked into the slot. "Yo?" he said softly. 

The mist-like Deformed one turned to him. "You don't have to say anything, Bendy. It's okay... I just-"

"You were right!" Bendy cut him off. His throat began to scratch uncomfortably, and so he pursed his lips and watched as Yo pressed his hand through the slat, and pat the demon's cheek. 

"I wasn't thinking. I just rambled... I guess I wanted to be a brother again."

Bendy tilted his head as Yo retrieved his mist-like hand. 

"And yeah, I was a brother, too."

The demon felt something reside in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't even thought about anyone but himself when he had hissed at Yo, who has felt the same emotions run through him as with Bendy. He too had a brother...

And his name was Donnie. 

"Bendy, can I tell you about my brother?" Yo's expression was hard to read, but his tone was serious, so the demon bunkered down and listened as Yo began his story.

"I had a brother named Donnie. He was younger than me, much like Boris was for you. I was always at home; never bothered to go out. Because when I did I was mistreated... People threw stones, but they phased through me. So people resorted to not physical harm but mental. And when I was in the darkest pit of silence, my brother came into my room one day and we spent the entire night talking away. In the end, we found out our neighbor had called a new organization of which they called the Council." He paused. "...The next day some people came and kicked down the door. As I was the way I still am, they knocked me out... Didn't let me even see Donnie or say a goodbye..." He looked away. "I've wondered how he's been doing. For a while, I could barely take the suspense. I had anxiety attacks all the time, which I overheard some lab people saying was common in the ranges of Deformity." 

Bendy listened closely. 

"No one here gave a damn about me... Shelly was new as the 'manager' when I was caught, and she was worse then than she is now... I think something happened... Something that made her hate toons like us with a burning passion." He shook his head. "And, Bendy?" His white eyes saddened. "I think she hates you the most... Because you resemble that event from her past."

Bendy blinked, confused. Yo sighed. 

"Bendy... I think she saw someone die."

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