PRIMAL FEAR 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘭𝘪𝘴 s.u

𝔢𝔩𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫

chapter eleven | canary

Renjun has me tightly embraced in his arms, cradling me still with my face hidden in between his shoulder blade and neck, calming me as Seulgi has her eyes glued to our motion. His fingers are lost in my hair and his lips coo words into my ears with whispers, that I'll be fine and that for now, we're safe. For now.

Where is Mark in all of this? Is what I wanted to question, and why hasn't he come in between us yet, it's been what keeps me from resting at the embrace of my kin and what keeps me from talking ― so that I can listen to the sounds outside the room and at any thundering footsteps that might come anytime soon. "Lisa, let's get you to shower." Said Renjun as he softly pulled me away from him, his warmth leaving me in the same instant. My eyes go over his features, and I shake when seeing how much different he looked than the last I've seen of him.

He looks healthier, no longer hollow were his cheeks of when we first saw each other, his form not so much as gaunt as mine still had been and colour had come back to his skin. In a way, I felt envious yet no helping it, I also felt relieved. And I may have been hallucinating with the way I imagined him resembling father with the way he looks down at me with his eyes hooded darkly as it would when staring at a traitor. But I knew this had been from his anger at Mark.

"Where is Mark?"

"Why do you ask for that man?" He questioned as he assisted to me standing up with him.

Looking up to him, I answer, "because I know he will come after you if he sees you with me."

"Lisa, you haven't been focusing, have you?" Seulgi questioned with a sigh. "Mark won't hurt you. Chaeyoung arrived last night and — "

"What does her arrival have anything to do with how safe she will be?" Bit back Renjun, assisting you me stand up and I can only tremble now that we're on our feet and he will  probably want to take me somewhere. "It will only be a matter of time till everything goes back to the usual — don't you see the way my sister looks?" He brought me even closer. "She is being tortured, Seulgi, that monster of a man has made her this way — afraid!"

   But Seulgi draws a line between her and Renjun, who in her eyes has stepped over the line. I can only remain quiet at the feud unfolding before me as I found myself powerless to do anything. "You mustn't lose your head in the heat of the moment Renjun." Warmed the woman. "That will the downfall of you in this place, learn to contain yourself and then we can do something about, Lisa. But for now — all we can do is remain low." She finally reached out for me, her firm expression softening at the seems. "Come, Lisa, we will get you treated and feed you."

    Shaking my head, my fingers are still tightly fisted onto Renjun's shirt. I don't want to let him go, I don't want to be separated from him for another second. Seulgi has taken notice of this and I heard her sigh, she must've lowered her hand given the tenseness of my little brother's shoulders had loosened. She began to make her way to the door and opened it wider for us to go through.

"Let's go, it's safe."

🥀

   The halls were drowning in the morning light, the serenity of it however, hadn't touched me in anyway as my body was still on edge. No matter how close to Renjun I was, no matter how tightly our hands were clenched onto by one another or even with the way Seulgi would look over her shoulder as a sign of reassurance that nothing would harm me. For now, it wouldn't harm me for now. We go past rooms that I come to remember until reaching the kitchen area, the only part of the manor I hadn't been to yet.

   I was settled onto a chair, but even then, my little brother doesn't let go of me and stays by my side as Seulgi began to prepare something for us. To fill the silence between us, Renjun had been first to speak.

"I didn't know you cooked." He remarked, faint interest tinting his voice. The latter briefly glanced up at a smile began to etch her lips while she began to heat up the water after cutting up some vegetables and buttering bread.

   Seulgi said, "I need to know, otherwise how can I say I was raised in the Lee household as a maid." She raises her wooden spoon and points it at Renjun. "Besides, I am considered one of the best cooks in this household — I need to have some sort of power over the boys despite my being itself." A chuckle briefly left my brother and I began to watch in fascination. Remembering my own times of when I would sneak into the kitchen, not relying on any of the chefs and cooking for me and my siblings.

   I knew a smile was softening itself onto my features as I watch the woman cook. "Nobody really stays in this kitchen unless it's necessary, this is easily considered one of my favourite places." My head turns to the large window that reveals the outside, half tuning into the conversation Renjun and Seulgi were having with another. They began to speak of each other's younger days, and as I look out the window, it takes me back to the days that I would get to sit on the kitchen counter, watching the day go by as Renjun's mother would cook for me and Chonnasorn, humming the process away and swaying her hips.

   Silence comes in between us three when I let out a laugh at the memory. Song Qian, my little brother's mother and our father's last wife. "... What are you remembering Lisa?" Questioned Seulgi with a smile on her lips, happy that I've let out a laugh.

"Mother." The only woman I ever got to by that title. "And how she would always be a character when in the kitchen." But at the same moment that my happiness had started to bubble, it dissipated at the sight of a redhead who stumbles in the distance. Right behind her stands Jaemin, whom I take notice his hands are trembling as they hold themselves back from reaching out to the girl who now looked so free I became green with the envy that had taken over.

   Instantly looking away from Chaeyoung, my mood evaporated into the conversation and could only feel the jealousy of the freedom she had, the torture she would never have to face again whilst within the walls of this manor. My eyes peer to Renjun who is chuckling as Seulgi speaks of something I decided to no longer listen to. I am in pain because of him. Because of my little brother because I decided to save his life.

   But do I regret it?

   I snuggled closer to the boy and his embrace tightens with affection at the light mood that had come into the kitchen, I let a painful smile etch onto my cheeks and think to myself that no, I don't regret it.