Forever (Phan)

14

Phil's POV-

"Philll" Dan sings in the morning/afternoon. I look up at him sleepily.

"Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, Dan, we've lived together for almost five months you should know this" I grumble.

"Wow it really has almost been half a year" Dan gasps. I boil the kettle and pour myself coffee. Dan obediently shuts up.

"Can I have tea?" He asks.

"Yep" I answer and pour him tea. I take a sip of my coffee and feel the caffeine work it's magic.

"Ok what do you want?" I ask, feeling like myself again.

"Well, Marie-"

"Crap what did she do now?" I ask, waiting for him to say that she told him some embarrassing story of mine. Dan chuckles.

"She said you have a crushhhh" shit. Fucking shit.

"Agh she's just being dumb" I shrug it off.

"Noooo, you have a crushhhh" He sings childishly. The overwhelming feeling of panic attacks me and all I can do is ignore him and drown my feelings in coffee. He doesn't pester for long. He's good like that, he gets the hint.

Later on, we start playing video games. He beats me at mario kart and I throw the controller at him a little bit.

"PHIL! THAT HURT!" He shouts. I laugh.

"Sorry, I get competitive!" I whine. He then proceeds to tickle me, causing me to slap him around the head.

"Phil are you trying to murder me?" He questions.

"No but I will if you do that again" I grunt. He laughs.

We start playing monopoly. I start to win and he starts to whine. I buy a hotel.

"No I forbid you to buy a hotel!" He takes the hotel off me. I gasp.

"Hey! Give it back!" I shout.

"No!" He shouts back. I go to pick one up but he scoops them all up in his massive ass hands.

"HEY YOU TWAT GIVE ME ONE!" I scream, before getting up and reaching for them. He moves his hand away. I keep reaching for them and he keeps moving back... to the point where he falls off his chair and sends the hotels flying all around the apartment floor. I dash to pick one up but he grabs me by the waist and stops me.

"Let me go!" I giggle, lunging forward and reaching one. I pick it up triumphantly and reach up and put it on the board. It's then that I realise I'm sat on Dan's lap still. I awkwardly get up and he does to. We sit at the table.

"Oh shit look at the floor!" He curses.

"You're cleaning that up, it's not my fault" I tell him. He giggles.

As the night goes on, we start having a 'convo night', as we like to call it. Basically it's when we get tired and start having deep conversations about various things. It's quite pleasant and it lets me get to know Dan more. Today we're talking about school life. I start talking about how I never really got noticed in school and some of my weird anecdotes.

"I wish I had the school experience that you did" he sighs sadly.

"Was yours that bad?" I ask.

"No, it was worse" he gives me a look of certainty. My eyes soften.

"Do you... want to talk about it?" I ask.

"I- I think I'm ready to" he says confidently. I show I'm listening.

"Basically I was bullied... pretty badly for being 'a fag'" he starts. He carries on talking, recalling the terrible things these bullies said and did to him, telling me how depressed he was, telling me how he was suicidal. It almost brings me to tears. At the end of it, I have nothing to say. I can't say I understand, I forbid myself to give him advice, so I do the only thing I can think of which is to throw my arms around him and hug him close, trying to communicate all my feelings in a hug. And that's what I do. He gasps at first but then hugs right back, squeezing me but I don't mind. I want to kiss his cheek, but I decide it's too weird.

It comes to around 2:00 am and we decide to go to bed. Just before I enter my bedroom, Dan touches my shoulder. I turn around and look at him.

"Hey, I just wanted to say thank you, thank you for today... I had a really nice time with you, especially since I don't see you much in the week. Also thank you for listening, I really needed to tell someone after keeping it a secret for years" I smile at him and give him another hug.

"I had a really nice time with you too. Thank you for being here and trusting me enough to tell me" I say gently. He smiles back at me and we part to go to our bedrooms.
————
A week has gone and Dan hasn't mentioned the crush thing again. Then again he's been tired after work. It's movie night and we're watching the blob. Just before we put the movie on, we get stuff ready for the movie.

"So how would you rate this week?" He asks.

"5/10," I answer, pouring much needed wine. We drink every Saturday. We're tired ok? "How about you?" I ask.

"Eh, a 4" he shrugs. I pass him the glass.

"Cheers" We clink and go to sit down. Before e do though, Dan smiles at me creepily.

"You good?" I ask. He keeps the smile up. I furrow my eyebrows.

"You're crushing on someone!" Dan sings. I shake my head, tutting at him.

"You are!" he urges.

"Yes, I am, happy?" I ask.

"Not yet. Who are you crushing on?" he asks eagerly.

"He doesn't concern you" I say.

"I beg to differ, I'm your friend and your roommate, therefore you trust me" he giggles, still urging me.

"I'm not telling you" I say.

"You never tell me anything anymore, it's like I don't even know you! Who are you?" he asks dramatically. I look at him for a moment, the embarrassment rising to my cheeks. I'm going to do something crazy. I'm going to tell him. I huff, shaking my head.

"The biggest idiot you'll ever know" I answer, before taking his face in my hands and pressing my lips against his. He gasps and tenses up, before relaxing and easing into the kiss. He's kissing me back. He weaves his fingers into my hair, playing with it. I wrap my arms around his waist, tilting my head more. My palms are sweating and my heat rate is high, but at the same time this feel so natural, like we were made to be together, as cliché as it sounds. Dan takes his lips off mine.

"It does concern me!" he breathes. I blush. He strokes my cheek.

"I really like you, Phil, I have for about a month" he confesses.

"I really like you too, Dan" I say, looking into his eyes, which are crinkled  by his smile. I then kiss him again, lightly and gently at first but Dan presses our lips together more firmly.