insecurities...

[9] "your an asshole..."

"Okay, truth or dare", one of the guys tell Lex, I don't know his name, and don't really care. I've been at this frat house so much in the past weeks, I feel like I might actually live here. This is the third consecutive party I've come too, at this frat house, just this week, all because of Lex. I actually don't mind the scene at all, we're all sitting on the patio outside, there are a few benches and tables here, most of Lex's baseball team are here, which means a hand full of girls around us too.

Lex is on one of the benches with Clare on his lap, it annoys me, but not as much as it used too, I know her better, and have a deeper respect for her, I might even consider her one of my friends. Lex ponders with the question before answering "truth", so the guy whose name I still don't know thinks for a few minutes, he might be in the baseball team with Lex, am not a hundred percent sure.

"Got it !, have you ever...slept with or done anything with either one of us here, obviously Clare excluded" he replied. I look straight at Lex waiting for a lie, or maybe the truth, he looks at me, and then keeps his eyes on the rest of them around us. He then shakes his head, and I was expecting that, i didn't expect him to admit it, but it still hurts, he gives me an assuring look, but all I give him is indifference, and so it's my turn I guess. One of the girls on the side of me giggle, and then ask me, "truth or dare ?" With her very high slightly annoying voice. I contemplate the question for a while, weighing my opinions, you know what fuck it, "dare" I say back.

She looks at me as if I won lottery, yeah I knew this was going somewhere dirty, and I expected it , okay maybe I actually planned for it. She looks at me up and down, as if calculating me, before she says, "I dare you too... kiss me" I want to laugh at that, but just to make a point, I want to prove something to Lex, so instead of doing the obvious and kissing her, I reply back, while also rolling my eyes. "Am more into guys" I say flirtatiously.

She gasps, obviously shocked, I don't give the whole gay vibes, so she rethinks her question and looks around the group "okay, kiss...uhm...Danny?" I follow her line of view, and Danny is sitting right next to Lex, I get up and walk slowly to him, while keeping my eyes in that direction, I could have waited for Danny to walk over to me, but this way it's a little more fun, cause I get to shove it in Lex's face.

He shifts in his seat looking at me, with... with hurt, he's the one that started this, he could have just nodded his head, yeah am being a little immature right now, but he needs to see, and know how I feel every time i see him with Clare, knowing I can't have that, I need him to feel that pain too. Danny stands, but I push him back down on the bench, not a rough push thou, and I lean over him, with Lex just a few inches away from the both of us, "are you okay with this ?"

I ask him, from the corner of my eye, I see Lex slightly shake his head, but Danny just bites his bottom lip, I guess that's a yes. I lean close enough that our lips are just seconds away from touching, and touch the side of his face, his breathing hitches, and I kiss him, not a gentle kiss, or chaste one but a hard kiss, I can already feel his hand going through my hair, I bite his bottom lip and pull away from him. He looks as if his in a daze, one of the girls in the group shouts, "that was so fucking hot"

I look straight at Lex who is looking everywhere except straight at me. I sigh, loudly and move back to my seat, while everyone is still staring at me either is shock or disgust, I really don't give a shit. I look at Danny who is still perplexed, and so I ask him with a smirk, "so how was it ?" He coughs and all eyes are on him, "I...that...was...I'm...straight" he finally lets out after a struggle. I can't help but laugh, and am not the only one almost everyone else joins in, all expect Lex who still can't look at me. "I didn't ask about your sexuality, I asked how the kiss was?" I shoot back at Danny, he just nervously laughs, not giving me a reply.

I turn my attention away him, and sneak a glance at Lex, but his not there. I get up without thinking and go inside to look for him when someone grabs my wrist, it's Clare and nods her head towards the stairs I follow her, when we get up, she leads me towards the bathroom, I get in, thinking Lex is in there too, I close the door on my way in. When I turn my head towards her expecting to see Lex there, she slaps me, I move back trying to find my balance.

"Your an asshole, Carter" she says, what did I do now, especially to her. "What was that for, I know I deserved it but definitely not from you" I spit back, my anger is rising, I need to find Lex and not entertain this bull. I turn around and grab the door handle to go and look for him, "his in one of the bedrooms" she says. I stop before I can turn the handle, "who?" I say back. She couldn't know, how could she, what did Lex do, or say, she's his girlfriend, I am so fucked. I turn back around to look at her, and she gives me the dah look, and rolls her eyes for the added effect. "Lex" she lets out.