insecurities...

[14] ...Chips and dip, marshmallows and licorice...

We let go both of our hands as we jump into Lex's car, it's a Porsche convertible, suits him. I look over to him and his glowing, I'm probably glowing to, seat belts first, then Lex plugs his aux cable into his phone, what's a date, without music. Wait is this a date, fuck labels it's whatever we want it to be, he starts the car and one of my favorite songs starts playing, and I automatically start humming to it.

We both start singing now as we make our way off campus, we probably both sound out of tune and terrible, but the feeling it's incredible. When the song is done we both look at each other, and he places the hand he's not using to drive on my thigh, "so where we off too ?" he asks, I don't hesitant with an answer, "first the service station, the one on the outskirts of campus"
He quizzically looks at me, as if trying to read me, but then looks back at the road and turns his attention to his driving, by the way his an amazing driver.

We reach the service station, after a few more loud and out of tune songs that we sang together, it was a nice to just let go, and be myself around him. I get out of the car after we park, and notion for him to follow me, he hesitates but follows close behind me, without thinking I reach for his hand and take it in mine, he doesn't pull away but grips it tighter as we walk toward the the small connivence store in the service station. When we get in, the store attendant just looks at us then continues whatever he was doing in the first place paying us no attention, just what I wanted, I walk into the snacks section first pulling Lex behind me, "what do you what ?" I ask him, he looks at everything in the aisle, then starts throwing in different flavors of Chips and dip, marshmallows and licorice into the basket, then looks at me when he's done, as if too say is this okay, I lightly punch his shoulder and then throw a few packs of pretzels in the basket.

"Okay, now we done with snacks, drinks ?" I ask him. He nods and takes the lead toward the fizzy drinks section, I laugh because those weren't the drinks I was referring to, "we might need something a little stronger " I tell him, he catches my flow, and we head toward the liquor section. I look at him with such a mischievous smirk, and he just raises his eyebrow at me, "what are you thinking ?" He whispers, I let go of his hand and put it around his neck, and lean towards him so my mouth is almost touching his ear, "something illegal and fun" I say.

He doesn't back away or run, or say anything against that, so I take it as a yes, I grab one bottle of vodka and one bottle of rum, I look around, there are cameras but the store attendant is more focused on his phone then the screens, so I inconspicuously place both bottles under each arm, it helps that I decided to wear my leather jacket so it's not that noticeable. We both walk towards the till, and he looks slightly nervous, I decide to start a conversation to settle his nerves, "Where you from ?"

I ask him, he looks at me, and I shrug, "Los Angles, am a beach boy, born and raised" he continues "and you ?" I hadn't told anyone were I was actually from, I would always dodge the question or lie, but I can't lie to him if I want to see where this is going, damn why did I have to pick that specific question to ask him. It's a while before I reply, and in between that wait he's holding my hand for reassurance, "am from Charleston, West Virginia, one of the few states that don't look lightly on this" I lift both of hands up. He squeezes my hand tighter, and I squeeze back. As we get to the till, the attendant is ringing everything from the basket, I look at Lex and tell the attendant, "Two boxes of Flavored Cigarettes" Lex just looks at me, "you smoke ?" He asks, I mouth the words Nope, and shake me head.

I look towards the attendant who is now back to his phone, waiting for us to pay, never thought there'd be an Us so soon, but here we are. I nudge Lex, and whisper to him, "Run" just loud enough for him to hear, and I sprint out of the store, holding the unpaid for basket of items in one hand, both bottles of alcohol under my arms and Lex's hand in my other hand, pulling him with me. We get to the car in record time, while behind us the store attendant is fumbling and shouting for us, I ignore him, and get in the car, while Lex starts it and we're off, through the rear view mirror I see the attendant waving his hands at us, I look at Lex who by the way is smiling, i lean towards him and kiss his check, "Shit, Gay Bonnie and Clyde, huh babe" I tell him, shit did I say babe out loud, fuck maybe it's too soon, we're not even dating... "We should do something illegal more often" he cuts me off from my thoughts, and kisses me, "Babe" he whispers against my lips.