call out my name (billie eilish girl x girl)

guiltless part one

chapter song inspo: guiltless, dodie

warning: this chapter and the next contain themes of shitty parents so if that's triggering be careful reading :)

"There is a wall in my life built by you; you opened a door that a kid shouldn't walk through."

Billie's POV:

A few days passed since the day me and Hannah had together and I wish we could just go back to that feeling of being the only two people in the world. Everything's still fine, but I'm tired of just fine, I want more time with her but we've been so busy touring. At least she's still by my side even if we aren't alone.

Today we spent visiting a children's hospital and I've been holding in tears seeing how much these kids care, all their drawings make me feel some type of way. Everyone thinks that I'm used to this lifestyle but it changes so much I don't see how anybody could be used to it.

It's been worrying me with Hannah, I can sense like she's keeping a secret from me, but more like she won't even think about it herself. I worry about everything: how we haven't even said that we're soulmates or thought about the consequences of that, the time in the car I almost said 'I love you,' and now how she jumps every time her phone rings and immediately declines the call. We aren't moving backward but we definitely aren't going anywhere either.

When we get a break for dinner, I pull her aside into an empty bathroom. She raises an eyebrow but I can still feel her trying to mask whatever is wrong with an over-exaggerated calmness. Nobody is that calm, especially her when she's with me.

"Dude, what's wrong?" I question, not giving a fuck if somebody walks in and sees my hand on her waist. I just wanna make her feel okay.

I can see her lips about to form the words "it's fine," but I squeeze her hand and give her a look that says you better not try no fuck shit on me after all this time. She sighs and looks down to the bathroom tiles, running a hand through her hair.

"It's not that big a deal, but..."

"Go on," I press, too impatient for the truth.

"Okay, so when I asked my parents if I could come on tour with you, they didn't actually believe that you wanted me to, and they said I was making it up for attention. I tried so hard to convince them but they never believe me anyway, so I just left the house," she confesses and my jaw drops.

"Holy shit, are you for real? Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Billie, it's just not that big of a deal. They don't care about me, they just care that I took control instead of them for the first time. And I left them a note, plus I sent them pictures to prove I wasn't making it up. But now they're even more angry and just keep calling and sending me threats," she finishes explaining. Her cheeks lose their color and her hands form into fists.

I slip my other hand on her waist and pull her closer, balancing my forehead on hers. It's weird but it's almost like when we do that I can take some of the stress from her and carry it myself so we're kept perfectly even.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with them. Have you called them back? What are they threatening you with?" I try to keep my questions few so I don't overwhelm Hannah even more. Shaking, she pulls out her phone and shows me the stream of messages from them, starting off mean but growing disgusting with time.

"Wait, they're gonna call the cops on you?" I panic at the last message, pulling away to see her face.

"They said that if I didn't pick up the phone by tonight they would send them after me and force me to come back. But if I do pick up they'll just tell me horrible things and to come home anyways, so I'm not going to do it," Hannah makes up her mind, and I don't know what to think. I've never had to worry about stuff like this with parents, and the fact that two people who decided to have a kid would treat them so horribly just makes no fucking sense. It pisses me off and I swear if they try and take her from me they will wish they never did.

"Fuck the cops, plus we have security wherever we go, they won't touch you, okay?" I try to comfort her and it seems to work. She throws her arms around my neck and I hold her tight. Now I'm even more afraid than before to let go.

***

Hannah's POV:

I blocked both of my parents numbers figuring they were just going to keep calling and I was just gonna keep ignoring them anyways. Besides, it's already the next day, and I haven't seen any cops. I knew it was another useless, manipulative threat like always. It's like as soon as I realized how powerless my parents actually are, I've finally become confident in myself despite all the times they told me I couldn't be.

I'm not gonna lie, it stings seeing how supportive Billie's parents are. It's a reminder that all parents have the choice to be that way, but mine just don't. Parents are overrated anyway.

I shake off the thoughts as I formulate my secret plan. Billie was murmuring about burritos so as soon as she goes to take a shower, I'm gonna sneak away to the Taco Bell a few blocks away and surprise her. Little things like this are the best, just seeing her face light up makes me want to do anything I can to make her happy. I still worry about the things we haven't talked about, but when Billie pointed out that we have our whole lives to live, it took off the pressure. I love how her brain works.

" 'm gonna take a shower," Billie murmurs, grabbing her towel, and I try to act nonchalant and hide my smile.

"So see you in like twenty minutes?" I tease, earning a glare from her, but I see the smirk underneath that knows I'm right. She shuts the bathroom door and I slip on my shoes and sneak out the door to our room.

I run right into Finneas who gives me a 'the fuck are you doing out at 11:30 pm' look, so I quickly tell him my plan and he just walks away shaking his head.

When I walk out the front lobby, there's a few paps who jerk their heads up, scowling when they see I'm not Billie and I give them the finger for not leaving her alone for once. I slip in my earbuds and put on my playlist, jumping a little when come out and play comes on. It reminds me of the softer side to her, and it perfectly shows how much she cares for people and how they're doing.

When I'm a block away, I get this weird vibe that I'm being watched, but it's probably just me being afraid of walking alone and being a girl. I start to worry and debate going back, but my baby wants burritos so that's what I'm gonna get her. I take a few steps when flashes of blue and red from my left vision floods in. I squint but keep walking, convinced that I'm not in any trouble.

I glance behind me as I walk faster, and two cops run out, one with a hand on their belt, and I instantly freeze. One of them shines their flashlight in my eyes so that they start watering, until I'm full out crying. I know why they're here. There's no running from it.

"Hannah Taylor?"

I nod, my lips glued together.

"Your parents have reported you as a runaway and have arranged plans for you to go back home..."

They keep talking but I blank out and hear nothing. I feel nothing at all except empty. I try to speak, to find a way out of this.

"I just need to go back to my hotel, all my stuff is there and--"

"We can't let you do that."

Billie's POV:

"Hey, mamas, we should go get something to--" I stop talking once I step out of the bathroom and realize Hannah's gone. A part of me wants to freak out and thinks she really left me for good, but I try to calm down and just wait for her to come back.

I know Hannah so well now, and she wouldn't leave me. 

A/N: Thank you for 500+ reads that's crazyyy :)