Overwatch x Reader [One-Shots/Preferences]

[Song Fic] Depressed!Reaper x Reader : Green

Song linked above. I do a lot of one-shots where the reader is the one with the emotional turmoil, but I thought maybe it would be an interesting change of pace to do one where the guy is struggling instead.

Angst warning.

Requested by : None

This is erosion. Grinding up rocks with your molars.

The change in your relationship wasn't subtle. In fact, it seemed to switch faster than day and night. Gabriel was someone who was angry at work a lot and at first, he never brought that home. Then one day, you had forgotten to buy something for him at the store and he blew up on you, yelling and screaming. That was the first time he had ever raised his voice at you and the fear that overtook you from that point forward and paralyzing.

A big fish swims past your rod. You can't catch it, it's far too fast.

You tried your hardest, you really did. You gave all of yourself to try and fix and patch the small holes you could see that were sinking the ship. Gabe would demand more and more from you and every time, you would give. But it was never enough.

Deep hook marks in rubber lips.

That was about the time that Jesse McCree had joined Blackwatch. When you first met him, you brushed him off as nothing more than a playboy, but the longer he was around, the better friends the two of you became. He was your confidant and one day, you decided to tell him about the state of your relationship with Gabriel.

"It's pretty obvious you're not okay darlin'," he told you. "And it's pretty obvious that you're situation ain't alright either."

I see your eyes in the flowers. I'll pick a bunch for your room. Green and blue to match your pictures.

When you finally decided to end the toxic relationship with Gabe, Jesse was by your side in an instant. He comforted you when you cried, pulled you away when you tried to run back to Gabriel and held your hand when you were scared. It was all so different from how things had been with Gabe and before you knew it, you were head over heels for Jesse.

You looked so good in green. I hope you're well.

Losing you was the worst thing Gabriel could imagine. He was annoyed at first, annoyed that you would leave. Annoyed that you were friends with that cowboy. Annoyed that somehow he had stolen your heart.

But once the annoyance passed, he was left with nothing but an aching hole in his chest. He wanted you to be happy because he loved you, but it tore him apart that he wasn't the one that could make you happy.

And you look so good with him. And I'm proud of you still.

When Gabe thought harder on it, maybe he was happy you were with Jesse after all. You were with someone who was making you smile, someone who was making you laugh and maybe that was worth the pain he felt. He hurt you so many countless times. The yelling, the fighting, the breaking things. Maybe it was better that you were with a man who could actually provide for you emotionally.

I miss your perfect teeth. I was too blunt.

Even though he could see the good in you being gone, everyday he woke with the same ache in his chest, the same emptiness in his bed. Part of him always expected you to be laying there again, your eyes shut and your mouth slightly open as snores slipped from your lips. The way your hair would be spread everywhere, your nose twitching from whatever you were dreaming about.

I hope you feel happy. That's all I want. That's all I want.

Seeing you in Jesse's arms broke Gabriel in more ways than he could explain, but as long as you were happy he didn't mind suffering. He deserved it for all he put you through.

Mess in the kitchen. I was so disappointed.

"Why the hell is this house such a mess?" Gabe growled the second he got home, sending shivers down your spine. You had tried to get it all fixed before he came home but you just weren't fast enough.

"I-I'm sorry babe," you stuttered nervously. You used to never stutter and you were never scared of anything, but Gabe changed that about you. He made you nervous and anxious all the time and you were always worried you were doing something wrong.

I guess I got to my head. And I was too young to understand it.

He thought about that night a lot. Why did it matter to him if the apartment was clean? He should've been happy just to come home to someone who tried as hard as you did. Someone who loved as much as you did. You treated him better than anyone else ever had. Everyone always saw him as the villain except for you and he betrayed your sweet heart by abusive it and taking it for granted.

I get it now that it's too late. I never stopped feeling guilty.

If Gabe could go back and undo all the things he did wrong, he would do it in a heartbeat. Even if it didn't mean you would still be with him. He wanted to change it not for himself, but because you deserved so much better than what he did to you. You deserved the world.

I'm over it, I promise that. I just gotta sing it out of me.

It took Gabriel a long time to come to terms with the fact that he was never going have you again. It took him a long time to get over you. There were times that he tried to find a way to make it your fault, but he always knew it was his own fault. He was the reason he lost the most perfect thing in the world and it caused for a lot of self loathing. A lot of self hatred.

You looked so good in green. I hope you're well. And you look so good with him. And I'm proud of you still. Take care of my shirt. Warm and red.

When Gabe was cleaning everything that reminded him of you out of his room, he found your favorite shirt of his. It was a long sleeve red shirt that he rarely wore. You wore it more often than he did. Tears flooded his eyes and he clutched the shirt in his hands, allowing the pain to wash over him. He missed you. He was lost without you. He tried so hard to be strong, to be okay, but it just wasn't true.

I hope you think of me still as your friend.

There were plenty of times he wanted to talk to you, wanted to be your friend. He could never bring himself to do it though. The fear of your reaction scared him senseless. He didn't want you to reject his friendship, but he also didn't want to put you in a position where you felt like you had to be his friend. So he kept his distance.

I hope you love yourself. Your body and heart.

A few times, Gabe had considered talking to Jesse just to see how you were doing, but he assumed that Jesse most likely hated him. So he often went to Angela and asked her how you were. She wasn't too keen on talking to Gabriel after what he put you through, but the heartache in his eyes was too much for her to ignore and so she tried to keep him updated on how you were. For his sake.

I hope you feel happy. That's all I want.