A Hard Choice (Shawn Mendes and Connor Brashier) (Completed)

21|~Goodbye~

~Sabrina's POV~

I started to walk until I was standing right in front of him.

"Baby...." I say.

He looked so so pale even tho he had a big amount of makeup on which I didn't like so I took a wipe out of my purse and wiped some of it away.

"I wanna see you, not a mask of makeup" I say as I wipe away the makeup.

"Also your hair. I know this is not how you like it" I say as I styled his hair the way it used to be.

"Connor why did you had to leave me...? I miss you so damn much..." I say with my voice cracking up.

"Remember what you promised me when you gave me the ring? That you would always be there for me? Why? Why did you make a promise you knew you wouldn't keep!! Why!!!" I yell.

I broke down and tears were escaping from my eyes uncontrollably.

"Connor I'm sorry! I'm so sorry baby!" I say sobbing.

"I miss this... holding your warm hand... well at least it used to be warm..." I say grabbing his cold hand.

"I miss your beautiful eyes..." I say.

"I miss... your soft lips" I say tracing his lips with my thumb.

"I- i uh brought you this... the teddy bear you gave me when you gave me the ring..." I say placing the teddy bear in his casket.

"How could I possibly fall in love when I just lost it!? I lost the love of my life!" I say.

"No one will love me like you did Connor! No one! You had a great soul! Always so sweet, down-to-earth, kind, so joyful, romantic, respectful... you always respected me Connor... and you are hot as hell... I mean that's the truth you know... but how am I supposed to find all of that again baby? Could you please tell me because I only had and will always have eyes for you!" I say sobbing.

I heard the door open.

"Sabrina... it's time..." Shawn says.

"Right... um just a second..." I say sniffing.

Shawn closes the door.

"Connor I love you" I say placing my lips on his one last time.

I ran my fingers through his hair one last time. And I interviewed our hands one last time... I then placed my head on his chest and I started crying.

"I love you baby! I love you! I love you..." I say sobbing.

I heard the door open and footsteps coming towards me.

"Sabrina..." Shawn says putting his hand on my shoulder.

I was still resting my head on Connor's chest and I was still crying.

"It's time..." Shawn says.

I stand up and I hugged Shawn.

"Shawn..." I say sobbing.

"I'm so sorry baby..." Shawn says.

I continued crying.

"Hey hey calm down, take deep breaths and try to calm down honey" Shawn says wiping my tears away.

People started to came in.

"Come on let's go sit down..." Shawn says taking my hand and guiding me to our seats.

The ceremony started and people began to give their speeches. Again I wanted to be the last one.

~ Few minutes later~

Everyone was crying, obviously including me. Shawn had tears in his eyes too but even Ashley and Natalie who I never saw crying before were crying. But it was now my turn to give my speech.

"Come on you can do this!" Shawn says caressing my cheek.

I went up and everyone was staring at me so I immediately became nervous.

"Um... how do I even start...? Thank you for coming today to show your love for my boyfriend. I don't have to explain how Connor was to anyone in this room. Everyone knows he was the greatest man on Earth. It only took meeting him once to remember him forever... I will never forget his beautiful green eyes and his contagious smile. He is and always will be my everything and there will continually be a hole in my heart that will never heal. It takes some people decades to find the person they were meant to be with. It takes others several tries to find them. And some, never do..." I say with my voice cracking up.

All I could hear were people crying and sniffing.

"... But all it took me was just two tries to find it. All it took was one look and I knew he was the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. Our time together may have been cut short, but the happiness we shared together, will last a lifetime. I will mourn the lose of my boyfriend , my best friend, my soul-mate, my everything. But, I will find comfort in the knowledge that he loves me to no end..." I continue with tears I tried to hold back were now slowly escaping my eyes.

"... I will miss Connor until the day I die. But I will never feel alone because Connor has left behind a love that cannot be broken... Until we are together again, I'm not complete. I'm not Connor and Sabrina... Connor... thank you for helping me find Forever. You have left me a piece of you in my heart. To the greatest boyfriend and most wonderful friend,
I love you. Always & Forever..." I say completely breaking down.

I ran outside and fell down to the floor crying. Shawn came running after me.

"Sabrina... I'm so so proud of you" Shawn says giving me a tight hug.

"Shawn I- I can't do this... get me out of here... I don't care where just take me out of here please I can't, I can't do this!!" I say holding on to Shawn's shirt almost ripping it out because of how hard I was pulling it.

"Okay okay baby but please try to calm down" Shawn says caressing my hair.

"I can't b- breathe! I- I can't do this!"

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