Aquaria x Reader

Chapter 09: Faith Of The Heart

Rod Stewart songfic. Tear-jerking infertility hits the Palandrani couple, but they keep trying. However, it takes a bit more PG, fluffy love from one to the other to restore faith...Faith of The Heart. TW: Mentions of miscarriage, low-key depression, mentions of blood. Some parts September thru October of 2017, most carry through September of 2018

September 1, 2017

You couldn't believe it...before your eyes, you saw the rest of your life change drastically...or so you thought. Let's focus on the now, though. You were having a baby! You and Gio had only been trying for a month, so it was understandably shocking. You were only 21, having been married for three months, but at some point, you thought "Why not?" You were young, everything would be fine, right? Out of excitement, you told Gio almost instantly, both of you so ecstatic that you were convinced nothing could go wrong.

October 2, 2017 (Around nine weeks)

That wasn't the case. You begun experiencing flu-like symptoms, soon accompanied by crippling nausea. However, you thought that was normal. Morning sickness and all that. Then, the next time you were in the bathroom, you noticed light pink fluid-not quite blood, but discharge was yet another normal thing according to everything your doctor told you. Gio did his best to reassure you everything was fine. And for about an hour, you believed him. Nausea started to get that much worse, accompanied by jolt-like cramps by around 2 p.m. Had it not been for Gio pointing out a small blood stain on the back of your pants, you wouldn't have a clue what was going on. You started to get extremely anxious at this point-both of you did. "Fuck...Gio, I don't know...I'm sorry..." were the only words you could choke out between sobs as you realized what was going on.You had miscarried...or at least were in the process of miscarrying. It was no secret Gio hated seeing you cry or wince. As a result, all he could do was bite his lip and hold you close, knowing there was nothing he could do to help affecting him more than the actual miscarriage. Seeing him upset affected you just as much. You couldn't help but feel responsible for this...like a failure, despite Gio trying to convince you otherwise.

November 10, 2017 (One month later)

That was over a month ago, and you had physically recovered fully, but emotionally? You still felt like shit...like a failure. Little did you know, Gio felt just as bad. One day though, he just couldn't keep it in anymore. You noticed him looking a bit glum and...disconnected almost. "Babe, you know you can do shows if you want to. I'm not stopping you." You said, your eyes and nose puffy and reddish-pink. "No, I'm just...still feeling a little bit...responsible. If that makes sense." he said, eyes starting become glossy. "Honey...it might not be anyone's fault here." "Might not be? Y/N, something happened, and until further notice, I'm going to blame myself!" Gio said, slightly snapping as tears began to fall from his eyes. "Gio..." You said, trying to calm him down. "Y/N, hon, I don't know who else's fault it would be besides mine. I got you pregnant, so it was probably something on my end unless it was just something else...I don't know! I don't fucking know..." He said as sobs punctuated every pause. All you could do was hug him close, tight, and not let go. "Gio...I think it was just one of those things. It happens, and who's to say it won't again? Still, we can keep trying. If it takes, oh, I don't know-maybe a year, then we can try IVF or IUI. Infertility can seem like a long road, but we can figure it out, yeah?" You said, smiling, despite the red tear stains down your cheeks. "Yeah. Y/N...what did I do to deserve you?" He asked, sniffing as he stopped crying. "Everything, sweetheart. Every god damn thing." you said, still hugging your husband with everything you had.

June 30, 2018

Ever since Gio had won Drag Race, let's say he's been getting more than a hundred thousand dollars, if you know what I mean. It had been awhile since the miscarriage, and you had been trying since December, but still pretty much nothing. You still had hope that it would work out in the end though, Gio more so than you. Whenever another test came back negative, Gio would practically attack you with hugs and kisses before you tried again.

September 1, 2018

It's been a long road

Getting from there to here

It's been a long time

But my time is finally near

It had officially been a year. And one hell of a year at that. Eventually, you had made and appointment an IVF procedure for next month, and you were really hoping for a miracle at this rate. It's been a long road, but when it came to making one of the most important people in your life happy, as well as yourself, you weren't going to give up. Not now, not ever.

And I can feel the change in the wind right now

Nothing's in my way

And they're not gonna hold me down no more

No they're not gonna hold me down

Family members (mostly Gina and your mother) had tried to say that "It was a sign that you were just too young..." or if not "Just do the IVF procedure! Better sooner than later!" Those bitches. To your knowledge, neither your parents or Gio's had to try super hard for you-and even if they did, they probably didn't remember how painful it was at some times.

Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul

No one's going to bend nor break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith

Faith of the heart

After awhile, Gina and David (Gio's parents) had admitted that they were proud to have you in their family after seeing how happy you had made their son. They even said they thought very highly of the spirit and drive you managed to uphold during this time. After all, You had faith of the heart. When it came to something this emotionally draining, that was important.