Under the bleachers

Keep it close

Trixie
Trixie laid in her bed staring at her ceiling until her stomach started to growl so she got up and headed downstairs to get something to eat. She entered the kitchen and opened the fridge to just be disappointed by the emptiness of it, she moved onto the cupboards where she found a pack of crackers that she took back upstairs to her room. Trixie was so hungry. There hasn't been food in the cupboards or fridge for nearly 2 weeks other than the odd canned food or ramen noodle pack. So she ate all the crackers in lightning speed trying to get the calories she for her body to generate energy she so desperately needed. She grabbed her headphones and listened to Dolly Parton while she thought about the type of melody she wanted her newest song to have and she remembered tomorrow was Sunday which meant Trixie could be out all day as long as she was home by 9:00pm. Sunday was the only day Trixie was allowed to step foot out of the house although she didn't follow that rule because she just sneaks out but it still made her happy she could go out without sneaking out tomorrow. She planned to go get something to eat at a cafe near her school and maybe get some food to keep in her room if she could manage to take some money from her moms bedside that she specifically kept there for the times when Trixie needed money. Trixies eyelids slowly became heavy and she drifted off to sleep.
****
The next morning Trixie woke up at 10:00am she spent 1.5hrs doing her makeup perfect because she was going to be out for as long as possible she then picked out an outfit which was just a simple metallic pink dress with a low v-neck. By the time she left the house making sure to grab $75 from her mom and sneaking past her stepdad it was around 12:30pm so she headed to the cafe by her school. When she arrived she ordered 2 bagels and a large coffee double double. She sat down to eat while she scrolled through her phone liking posts on Instagram and Twitter. With 2 bagels eaten and her coffee in her hand she headed out to the bleachers. She then realized she forgot her guitar. Shit. Trixie slowly made her way back to her house. She opened the door and scurried upstairs to fetch her guitar and headed back down where she was greeted by her drunk stepdad. He was in his angry drunk phase. He glared at Trixie while he struggled to keep balance while standing still. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" He said slurring his words "I-It's Sunday. I'm allowed out til 9pm r-remember" Trixie quickly stuttered out hoping her stepdad wouldn't cause her any more trouble. She felt her guitar being ripped out of her hands and before she could say anything her stepdad hooked his pointer finger under the highest string and yanked hard causing the string to snap, he repeated 5 more times until all the strings were split in two and handed it back to Trixie who was now crying and yelling at him. "You can go now" is all he said before Trixie ran out the door with her broken guitar in hand, she ran to the bleachers and grabbed her journal. When she opened the journal a bracelet fell out. She liked the little cat charm on it but was still confused as to how the bracelet got there. Then she looked down at the open page. There was a note. It wasn't her handwriting. She read it:

"Hi. This is really creepy I know but I just want to say you are so gorgeous and your singing is angelic. You are right about your step dad. Don't let him cause you permanent damage ever. Stay beautiful. And I have no say in what you do to yourself but why would you hurt yourself? Why would you hurt someone so beautiful? Wear this on your wrist along with the fading scars and bruises. So that you have something good that never fades. There is one charm on it. I got it on a trip to Russia with my dad. Keep it close. -anonymous"

Trixie read it over and over again. How did this person know where her journal was? How can someone be so invading of her privacy yet be so generous to her? Did someone really think she was beautiful? She looked down at the bracelet again. She knew it was sketchy of someone to watch her and write in her journal but something in the back of her mind told her it was okay so she put the little charm bracelet on. It fit on her wrist perfectly. And she loved it. Quickly going back to her journal she wrote a message back hoping maybe that person would respond:

"Hi. It's not creepy to the emotionally damaged and abandonment issue ridden person I am. Thank you. For the bracelet. I'm not beautiful you don't have to say that. But thank you. I hope you respond -Trixie"

The sound of a motorbike filled the air and Trixie watched it pass by. The same one again. Same rider. She concluded the person just rides past at around 4:30pm and 9:00pm everyday. She looked down at her wrist and smiled looking at the bracelet and the little cat charm on it, she grabbed her guitar to play it but reality hit her right then instantly breaking out into tears. Her guitar was broken. She didn't know where she could get strings for it and it was no use. In a fit of anger at her stepdad she stood up with the neck of the guitar in both hands she swung it behind her head and brought it down against the ground causing it to smash into several pieces. She looked down at what she had done and cried even harder putting her journal away before running to her house with makeup smudged all over her face from her salty tears. When she got home she ran upstairs to her bathroom and opens the drawer underneath the sink where a little box sat in the corner. She grabbed the box and opened it to reveal her blade stash. With The tiny blade in her hand she started to slowly drag it across her wrist. Blood dropped over the bracelet and fell to her thigh where it was met by the tears dripping from her face. She was horrible. She was stupid. She shouldn't have smashed her guitar. She isn't beautiful. That's all she could think. She deserved to bleed. She wanted to bleed. She needed to bleed. To feel something.