Helping [PART ONE OF THE HELPING SERIES]

76

"Surgery?!" I cried out when I slammed the door shut. Jimin was laying in the bed and curled up at my loud voice. "Jimin, surgery is not going to work!"

"And how would you know?!" He snapped back, glaring at me but still crying.

"I just do! What were the odds of them working compared the odds of them failing and hurting you?!"

He stared at me silently before I repeated myself.

"Low," he mumbled now. "Maybe half for some."

"Baby, I just really care about you. I can't stand the thought losing you because you want my pups."

"Don't you want me to carry your pups?" He sniffled, making me go over to sit next to him and wrap him in my arms.

"Of course, I do. If anyone was going to have my pups, I would want it to be you. But I don't want to risk your chance at living by surgery. Let's think about it for a bit. If we're on the same page on the surgery, we can find one, okay?" I asked.

He nodded. "I just want to be useful to you," he mumbled.

"Baby, you don't have to think about that. You will never be just useful to me. I mated you and married you for you. No thought of me using you for reproduction ever crossed my mind. I love you and because you can't get pregnant at the moment doesn't make me love you any less."

I took his hands into mine and pressed gentle kisses into the skin of his knuckles.

"And your heat is in a few days. We can try then."

He nodded again and let me come closer, burrowing his head into my neck and scenting himself.

"I'm sorry I fucked everything up," he murmured.

"You didn't fuck anything up, Jiminie."

He gave a deep sigh and wiped his tears with his sleeve, obviously wanting to point out his reasons for thinking like that. I took his wrist and kissed his palm, swiping my thumb over his cheek gently.

"If knotting in your heat doesn't work, then we can think about the surgery. But if there's not one that confirms your safety, then we start thinking about adoption, okay?"

He nodded and held onto my shirt tightly as he sniffled. I peppered his locks with kisses, holding my husband close to me.

"We'll have a family," I whispered into his hair. "Maybe three kids, but I wouldn't care if we only had one. I just want to keep you and our child in my arms, I want to see you happy while holding our child, I want to send them off to college and grow old with you and only you because I love you so fucking much. I want lots of things, but what I really need is your smile. I need to make sure you're happy, healthy, and mine. I love you, Minnie."

"I love you too, hyung," he said, voice cracking and sniffling again.