Helping [PART ONE OF THE HELPING SERIES]

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Y'all hate me now, don't even deny it. As I'm writing this, The Last comes onto my shuffle play. Let me know if you're still here and reading please!

Jimin fell back into that mindset again. He stopped playing with Jin's and Namjoon's pups and would start crying every time he held one or even looked at them. Our nights now consisted of Jimin crying into my chest at the feeling of one heartbeat in his body.

Constant apologies spewed out of his mouth and promises to be a better omega as he tried pushing my pants down, wanting to try again.

I would sleep on the couch or the pullout bed every time I refused him since he was too emotional to try again. He began distancing himself from everyone and got back onto the anti-depressants which weren't doing what they were meant to do. We hadn't told anyone else the news after dropping the pregnancy bombshell last week because I wasn't sure if Jimin wanted to tell anyone or how they would react if we said it was a miscarriage and we lost the pup.

Every night, Jimin would be in tears and trying to climb onto my lap, apologizing for being worthless and begging for another chance to carry the pup, saying "he'll do better this time." And every night, I would move him to lay back down and try to sleep.

Every night, he would ask why I mated such a worthless and infertile omega like him. Why I married an omega who can't keep a baby.

And several nights, he mentioned how much easier everything would be if all infertile omegas like him were just... gone by morning.

It really hurt to hear him speak so lowly of himself because of things he couldn't help. Of course I was sad that I wouldn't be able to hold my own pup, but hearing him degrade himself like that was just brutal.

Jin and Namjoon set their wedding date to next month, so they were busy with preparations. Taehyung and Hoseok watched the pups because Jimin was such a wreck when he saw them.

Jungkook was the one who figured it out first. He told Taehyung, who of course told Hoseok and Hoseok... is Hoseok, so he naturally said it in the middle of dance practice.

"Hyung, did Jimin really lose the pup?"

I froze and Jimin did as well before his eyes welled up, he looked at his flat tummy and ran out of the room. I cursed at Hoseok before running out for Jimin.

He was in a corner of the empty conference room, knees to his chest and sobbing his little heart out. I locked the door and ran over, taking my husband into my arms and rocking him back and forth, stroking his hair. Pressing gentle kisses all over his hair, I gently hushed my mate, whispering sweet nothings into his locks as my shirt became wet from his tears.

"I've got you," I murmured, pulling him to curl up into my lap. "I've got you."

"I—I'm s—sorr—sorry," he hiccuped into my shoulder.

"No, don't be, baby. You did nothing wrong."

"I—I lost o—our p—pup! E—Everyth—thing is—is my f—fault!"

"No, it's not, Minie."

"Yes it is!" He shouted suddenly, shoving himself out of my lap. "I fucked up the one thing my body is built for, I took our pup, I can't do the one fucking thing I'm good for!"

"Jimin, don't talk about yourself like that," I said gently, trying to pull him back into my arms. "Nothing is your fault."

"Then who took our baby?! Who fucked up all of this?!"

"Not you, Jiminie. Please just calm down and come back over to me."

He broke down into heart breaking sobs again and slapped my hand away when I tried to wipe his tears away.

"Baby, we haven't tried breeding in your heat," I started. "We can try then."

"We can't," he sniffled, back against a wall and face in his knees again.

"Why not, baby?" I asked gently, starting to stroke his hair when he stopped fighting me.

"Because I'll lose it again like the fuck up I am," he forced out, shoulders shaking.

"Jimin, you are not a fuck up," I whispered, kissing his mating mark lightly.

"Then what am I? I lost our baby, hyung. We can't get him back."

"How do you know it was a him?" I asked, nuzzling his hair.

"I could tell," he said, sniffling after his voice cracked. "But we can't get him back because I can't keep your pups. Hyungie, we can try all we want, but we can't do it. I can't keep your baby in me."

"Then let's adopt, sweetie. We don't need to have our own."

"But you loved him already and he's not there anymore."

"I love you so much right now, baby. Forever and always. Yes, he was my baby too and I'm sad about it as well, but there are other options."

"I want your pup though," he cried, looking up at me helplessly.

"I know. I know," I said, pulling him back into my arms.