S.O.S Society of survivors

40- Denial

Kirsten pov

"Anything?" I asked as Zach walked back in from outside the gate.

He shook his head no and continued walking towards the center.

I sighed in defeat. The sky was a light blue with white puffy clouds. " Where are you? "
I asked quietly.

Riley decided to give me the day off and  was out hunting,or trying to anyways, Zach was with the builders, and I was talking to Jordan.
He still wasn't able to move his leg much
without being in pain.

" Do you think Allison is actually alive? "

I looked up from my book.
" What? "

" I asked if you really think she's alive? It's been six days and she hasn't come back. "

"Of course she's alive. The sky is still blue."
I sounded crazy.

Jordan looked at me with concern " Kirsten, You can't tell if a person is alive or not just from the sky. The sky wouldn't change color for only one person. "

"You don't know, maybe it's a sign.Maybe God's trying to tell us that she's still out there."

He laughed dryly " Yeah a sign that you're going crazy! Kirsten you've latched yourself onto a false sense of hope! You just don't want to think that Ally might just be dead. "

" No! You don't get it. I've known Ally for years. She wouldn't, Can't, be killed. She's probably just lost trying to find her way back. "

" Kirsten. " Jordan said quietly " Take a moment to think. Do the math. She hasn't been back in six days, almost a week. There have been no signs of her showing up. She left on a stormy night and didn't make it back. "

I was quiet.

"Your in denial. You, Riley, and Zach. I know it's hard but sometimes you just have to accept the fact that people die."

" Ally is fine. She's just lost or hurt and can't find her way back. " I said in a monotone voice.

" Kiki. "

I stood up " She is not dead. It was nice talking with you, now I need to go. "

Me and Riley sat in our room.

"Do you think it's true?"
Riley asked.

" What's true? "

" That we are just in denial about Ally? "

I sighed " I don't know. I guess I'm just hoping we're not. "

I rubbed my face with my hands.

" Look at us Kirsten. We've gone mad. Thinking she could still be out there, we're so stupid. "
She laughed " We even made up an excuse of looking at the dumb sky! What is the sky gonna tell us! Nothing! We're the stupidest people in the world! "

I didn't say anything and just curled into a ball.

" The day I die is the day the sky stops turning blue. " I said in a mocking voice.My voice was breaking. I felt anger flow through my body.

" Screw you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Riley jumped "Screw you Allison!
You should be stayed! You needed to stay! "

I was screaming at the window. As if Ally could hear me somehow.

" You always do this, whenever something gets tough you run away making things worse! I hate that! "

" I hate that you just ran away! "

" I hate that you wouldn't tell us! "

" I hate that you think we don't care! "

" I hate that you think you're nothing! "

I had tears down my checks.

" I hate that you aren't here. "

Riley was hugging me.
And I was hugging her back.

" why won't you come back? " I whispered under my breathe.

Riley was asleep while I was still up.
The moon was the only way I could see.

It has now been seven days.

I took a deep breath.

" Hey God? I don't know if you're there. I haven't prayed or anything in a while so if I'm doing this wrong, sorry. "

Another deep breath

" People in church told me that you see and hear everything, so I was wondering if you could some how show me, show us, a sign.
You know, like telling us if Ally really is alive or not. I'll take whatever you give. "

I could hear my heart beating.

" And if she is alive, watch after her.
She needs all the help she can get.  That's it I think. Yeah. Goodbye? "

I rubbed my head.

" You forgot to say Amen. "

My head turned and I saw Zach in the doorway.

" what? Why are you up? "

" At the end of your prayer you forgot to say amen. That's how I was taught. And I heard you talking so I came to check up on you. "

I nodded " I'm fine. "

Zach laughed a bit " You are really bad at lying. Goodnight Kirsten. "

I finally got to bed but couldn't sleep.

" Amen. "